You mean I can't lose weight by just *thinking* about exercising?

AppleGypsy

Hello. I need to lose probably close to 100 pounds, and the thought of that is extremely overwhelming. I can barely get through an afternoon of eating well and getting footsteps in, much less thinking about doing this for the rest of my life. I recently went and signed up for a gym membership, and have only gone twice.

I joined here many months ago, tried a few days by myself, and gave up. I was too depressed and withdrawn to interact with the community here, but I'm back to try again and hopefully see if there are other people like me who I can get to know, and develop some kind of support network. I'm going to be honest, I am just so in hate with myself these days, and feel so out of control and fat and horrible that I just don't even know how to pull myself out of it. I see other people posting "we can do this" or "I will succeed this time", and I can't say I have that same positive thinking. But I want to have it, and I am hoping that surrounding myself with positive people will help change my outlook.

Also, I know I don't have a picture of myself in my profile, but right now I can't bring myself to do it, I don't want to look at my fat face everytime I log in.

I hate being fat and out of control. Also, I swear I'm fun at parties, and I know I seem like a downer right now It's just so hard.

Christinaluvly

Believe me when I say that most or all of us have felt that way at one point in our Journey. What's awesome about MFP is that you can find people that are going through the same kinds of things. Losing weight is one of the hardest things to do, and it requires a lot of will and patience. Don't go through it alone. Feel free to add me if you'd like... I wish you well:)

Jruzer

You CAN do it. Many others have, including others who have been depressed and out of control. Work first on logging accurately and getting some activity in daily. You don't have to go to the gym and work out to lose weight.

Remember that, while you'll likely have to control your food intake for a long time, you won't have to be at a deficit forever.

ninerbuff

Repetition makes it easier. I had a client who was so afraid to go to the gym. I told him to just make it to the front door. Eventually I knew he'd go through them. Then once he got in, we only hit the exercise for 15 minutes a day (I don't always do this with clients). A week later it was 20 minutes. Then 30 minutes. Thing is he started to be consistent. And that's all I needed him to do.................was be consistent. After 30 days, we did full sessions and he slowly lost 40 lbs in 1 year. This was a few years back when I lived in VA, but he's a FB friend with me and it looks like he's still maintaining.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

AppleGypsy

Thanks for the replies I've been sitting here reading a bunch of posts and starting to feel a little more optimistic already.

mandahon3

I am in the same position as you are, and have over 100 to lose. I hate looking at my profile picture, but I do like that I can remind myself why I am starting this journey. If it takes staring at my own inadequacies to motivate myself, that is what I will do. Add me if you want, and we can support each other.

AppleGypsy

I have a Garmin that I've had since Christmas, and today is the first day I've worn it. Today was the day I decided to make it real by at least trying to try to start, if you know what I mean. I am tracking my food today also, and although its difficult I can see how keeping myself accountable will help.

lindzgayle

Making such a huge change is overwhelming, no doubt about it! Try to focus on smaller goals, because even 5 lbs lost is less than you weigh today.

Also, just for kicks, check out the thread Confession Time http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10072694/confession-time-absolutely-no-judgement/p1 That will make you feel a whole lot better about things. Know that nobody is perfect, even the hardbodies on here.

ETA: Read the serious sticky posts, too. Like the "sexy pants" one. Full of good info.

tibby531

lindzgayle wrote: »

Making such a huge change is overwhelming, no doubt about it! Try to focus on smaller goals, because even 5 lbs lost is less than you weigh today.

Also, just for kicks, check out the thread Confession Time http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10072694/confession-time-absolutely-no-judgement/p1 That will make you feel a whole lot better about things. Know that nobody is perfect, even the hardbodies on here.

ETA: Read the serious sticky posts, too. Like the "sexy pants" one. Full of good info.

quoted for truth.

RLeighP

When I first set out, the first time 5 years ago, I only set a goal to lose 25 lbs. When I hit that, I set one for another 25 lbs. Little goals break the big one up into parts that are easier to reach, which makes it so much less stressful when you look at it.

You can do it, it's hard work but it's so worth it. And I agree, it's a habit you have to form.

GiveMeCoffee

You can lose 100 lbs. Will it happen quickly no, but it's very possible. Don't make any drastic changes all at once. Reasonable calorie deficit, consistency, lots and lots of patience. Log everything accurately and honestly.

2 years ago I was 285 lbs, I knew I had to lose weight, knew if I didn't do it this time I probably wouldn't, but had my doubts after years and years of yo-yo dieting. But, taking it slow, showing up every day, and giving my best on that given day was my promise to myself. I've lost the weight, and it's been a fun adventure. Was every day great? Not even close, but I showed up and will continue to show up.

Good luck to you

bahbedwire

I have been on MFP for a couple of years now, and only just started using it consistently in the past 40 days. As everybody else has said: Take it in baby steps. For example, I have set my goal to lose 5kg (11lbs). I need to lose more, but when I hit that goal I will feel that much more accomplished for actually getting to it.

Nobody is perfect, and a lot of us log even the bad things. I agree with @lindzgayle‌ . Read confession time and other stickies. Join a community group. I'm currently in the "Drop 20 by Easter" group - and while I'm not setting my goal to lose 20lbs, it helps keep me accountable. And you can join at any time to lose any amount of weight that you want.

Please feel free to add me. I'm happy to be here as a support to you.

Cheers,

Bahbedwire

bwogilvie

You can do it, if you make small, sustainable changes, changes you can live with for the rest of your life, because that's what you're signing on for. In addition to the great advice stickied at the top of the General and Getting Started forums, I think that Dr. Yoni Freedhoff's book The Diet Fix is a great source of advice, because his guiding principle is that you're not going to sustain a lifestyle change unless you are satisfied while doing it, and he focuses on proven techniques that have worked with his patients, such as keeping a food diary/log, having regular small snacks to avoid ever becoming uncontrollably hungry, and allowing yourself indulgences from time to time.

I lost 65 pounds. It took me nearly 2 years, but that's a good thing: during those 2 years I learned what I need to know to keep from gaining it back again. And by going slowly, and making small changes that weren't too onerous, I was able to lose it without too much stress and without any feelings of deprivation.

Again, take small steps, and make small changes. You might start simply by logging what you eat, trying to be as accurate as possible, for a week or two, just to see where you're at, and then decide where to go from there.

Good luck!

lee658

Christinaluvly wrote: »

Believe me when I say that most or all of us have felt that way at one point in our Journey. What's awesome about MFP is that you can find people that are going through the same kinds of things. Losing weight is one of the hardest things to do, and it requires a lot of will and patience. Don't go through it alone. Feel free to add me if you'd like... I wish you well:)

I couldn't more Christinavly. The fact that your here again means your willing. even though your overall goal might be 100 lbs as you said its overwhelming. Start with more reasonable obtainable goals. Shoot for 10 or 15, once achieved for another 10-15. Getting started is rough. We want to encourage you but not be truthful. Heathy eating and regular exercise. The gym is great, its not for everyone not to start. Start by walking daily and watching calorie intake. Have lots of water, celery baby carrots and healthy snack at the ready to curb cravings. Feel like a snack go for a walk, ride a bike, go to the gym, then reward with heathy energy. There's nothing more helpful for me than encouraging and rewarding others for their successes. Your welcome to add me for motivation. Your off to a great start, your here and your reaching out, good for you:-)

lee658

I meant not be untruthful, sorry...

Victoriamrs

As other posters have said small goals.

Tell yourself you will log in for one day, then try 2 then 3 so on and so forth. Maybe don't think about the 100lbs you are trying to lose, for me the first step was logging my food intake every day and making small changes in my diet (smaller portions for example, less chocolate, soda etc). Before I knew it I was losing inches. Then I started introducing exercise first walks, followed by swimming and now the gym.

If you fall off the wagon have a bad day (believe me it happens) don't dwell on it brush yourself down and move forward remember a day is only 24 hours just start again. This is your life fight for it!

Good luck and if you need a friend for motivation and support feel free to add me!

triciab79

First takes some before pictures. You will be so happy you did! 100lbs is doable and even doable in less time than you think. You have to commit though. You have to say no matter what happens, no matter how many things come up or how badly I want that pizza, I am doing this. I went from 218 to 118 in less than a year and I held to that range for 2+ yrs. I am now 123 because the new goal is muscle building.

1. Recognize your excuses when you try to use them and then stop using them. Believe it or not everyone has obstacles and the difference between those who make it and those who fail is whether we see them as a challenge or a crutch.
2. Start with calorie counting. It might not be the plan you end up with but it is the easiest to understand in the beginning. Just cut back and don't worry about macro nutrition until you manage to get a decent handle on looking at labels. For now you want low cal and filling so lots of fiber veggies and lean meat. It can be overwhelming to look at good fats and bad fats and hitting protein macros. Take a multivitamin a calcium supplement and then just know that your body has 100lbs of storage that it can eat from if it needs anything else.
3. If the gym makes you hungry (like it does me) then hold off until you have control of your diet. You can be active without the gym in smaller burst through out the day. I didn't have a gym membership or a reg exercise routine for any of the 100lbs that I lost. I parked further away, danced with my baby in the living room, took my toddler to the park, read my email standing up, fixed my posture, and made sure I was moving some part of me all the time and that was my gym. It didn't make me hungrier and I still increased my energy and gained stamina.
4. Don't depend on anyone noticing even you. You might not see a change in the mirror for a while. Other people might not see a change for even longer. I saw some people I knew after losing 50lbs and they didn't even notice. I saw them again after 100 and their jaws dropped. If my pant size hadn't been decreasing I wouldn't have noticed I was changing for the first 30lbs. Sometimes the mirror and the scale and even others do not tell you what you want to hear. That cannot alter your resolve if you want to be successful.
5. Get organized. Plan your food, even your snacks, every single day and do not break the plan even for a crumb. If its not on the plan don't put it in your mouth. I don't care what other people say about not being able to live like that forever. You don't have to live like that forever, just until you have lost the weight and learned the difference between a "treat" and food that is meant to fuel you. You have to look at food as just fuel for the next year. It is not filler for when the conversation with a friend gets awkward, it is not comfort when you have had a bad day, it is not a reward for when you did something great, it is fuel that makes your body move. You have to break up with food (no "one last fling" either), it is not your friend, it is an abusive lover who is slowly killing you.

Good Luck! You can do this!

bookworm_847

Well, welcome to the community. You can definitely do this! Check out the success stories-- lots of people have done amazing things. I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. But know that you don't have to do everything all at once. Maybe start getting your meals in order and your calories figured out & logging accurately... then try going for walks and/or the gym a couple times a week. Set small, manageable goals for yourself and that might help it not seem like so much. Good luck to you! Hang in there and you'll get this!

47Jacqueline

You actually can lose weight without thinking about or doing exercise if you just eat at a deficit. But you'll feel so much better if you exercise and your health will probably improve. And you can eat more every day if you work out.

But at where you are, you don't need to get stressed about running into the gym. Take it easy. If the thought of going to the gym is really getting to you, put the membership on hold for a few months. Most gyms will let you do that for a low monthly rate. I had to do that when I was in physical therapy for a while and they charged me $15 a month. That way, you're not giving up, but you're not putting pressure on yourself.

You'll also probably feel less depressed as you lose weight. If you stick with a reasonable food plan you can lose about a pound or two a week to start without starving yourself.

Good luck and stick with it.

brown_eyed_frog

I can totally understand the feeling of standing at the bottom of the mountain, looking up... Saying "Well, that's a long way, it's going to hurt and be a struggle. I'm probably not all that good at climbing."

I've had about 150 pounds to go at the start. I'm down 14 lbs. It'll be a year or two before I hit my goal, most likely. Still a fight everyday to not go back to old habits. I mean, a super big struggle. I can get there if I work at it, and if I can get there, pretty much anyone can.

One thing I struggle with, and by your post maybe you do to, is self talk. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. I don't know about you, but I was horribly bullied growing up, and the last thing I want to do is add myself to a long list of bullies.

Good luck, and feel free to friend me if it'll help. I'm on here everyday poking around, reminding myself to be healthier.

AppleGypsy

I really appreciate all of your feedback, and its really helping me to feel good about doing this. brown eyed- I actually was bullied also growing up! (jerks) and I hear what youre saying but I am at a real bad place right now, and I am not anywhere near loving myself. Hopefully that will come with the hard work I do.

Adc7225

I can relate to what you are feeling. I started this process hoping to get healthy by losing weight. I was 244 pounds 5'2", at 44 years old. First thing I did was join the gym - trying on workout clothes was a moment that I would not wish on my worst enemy! But I did it, I found something I was willing to be seen in and went to the gym. Started doing 15 minutes on the elliptical and 15 on the stationary bike, I took my time working my time and intensity up - no injuries needed! At first I just started writing down everything I ate and one day someone suggested this app called MFP - I did lose some weight prior to this but I am not sure how things would have progressed without MFP.

Like I mentioned I wanted to be healthy, get off high blood pressure medication and started with a goal of getting to 175 (Dr. approved) I knew I was overweight but I never though of myself as fat or unattractive due to my weight. It was just a part of who I was. Being overweight does not have to define you as a person.

I have lost 94 lbs so far and would love to get that to an even 100 but maybe not. I have gone from a size 20/22 to 2/4 and sort of want to stay here. It took me about 2 years but in that time I have learned so much about myself and what I am capable of that it is amazing. Take your time, set small goals, don't think about the 100 pounds you want to lose. Think of other things that you can conquer. If like to snack work on ways to minimize that or if you are a late night eater or emotional eater work on ways to balance these things and along the way you will find others areas to make changes. These types of changes are things that you will be able to live with.

It can happen, Also, I know you may not want to - but trust me it will be beneficial as things progress -- Take Photos!

softblondechick

I don't make weight loss my goal.

I make logging my food as a goal, and staying under my calories.

And exercise is a goal for me, 4 times a week.

That way, it is not overwhelming. Otherwise I would just give it up.

mfp2014mfp

softblondechick wrote: »

I don't make weight loss my goal.

I make logging my food as a goal, and staying under my calories.

And exercise is a goal for me, 4 times a week.

That way, it is not overwhelming. Otherwise I would just give it up.

That's a good plan! I had a similar approach, I made health my goal, it took the focus of the weighloss pressure that so many of us feel and I found I was able to get started much easier.

jenniferelizabethwiseman

I so feel the same way, and am just starting. I don't want to, I'm resentful, I'm fearful, and way too many of the motivations I have are negative instead of positive. But I am going to do this. I will need motivation and help too. Please feel free to add me as a friend--I would appreciate it!

Lizabelle1212

Welcome! There are some great, supportive people on here, and I'm sure you will find some like-minded people to interact with. For me, that has been one of the biggest factors - surrounding myself with people (even if it's just with "online" people) who have a similar goal - it helps so much to know that you're not alone and there are people out there to celebrate with you when things are going great, commiserate when things get tough, and to be there to keep you motivated. I'm all too familiar with feeling like it's a lost cause, but you've done a great thing by logging in & reaching out to the community! You don't have to make a ton of drastic changes all at once - make small changes over time, and eventually you'll wonder why you ever even thought it was so hard. Also, for me, when I'm struggling with motivation to go to the gym, I just start with small stuff, like either going ahead and putting on the music I listen to while working out, or putting on my workout gear while I'm just being lazy. That usually ends up making me want to get out the door and go to the gym. Even if you say to yourself "Ok, just gonna go for 15 minutes..." first, that's better than nothing, and second, I bet once those first 15 minutes are up, you'll want to keep going.

Good luck on your journey!

Bukeelaka

softblondechick wrote: »

I don't make weight loss my goal.

I make logging my food as a goal, and staying under my calories.

And exercise is a goal for me, 4 times a week.

That way, it is not overwhelming. Otherwise I would just give it up.

Yes!!!^^^ This type of mindset is what worked for me as well.

streamgirl

I've been thinking about you all day. I don't know if this helps you, but it does me. Losing weight is not rocket science. I don't mean it's easy as in "a walk in the park" but it is simple. Lots of things in this world are hard work and have uncertain results. You could start today, practice 8 hours a day, and still never become a successful concert pianist if you just don't have an ear for music. You could valiantly battle cancer and still die from it. On the other hand, if you eat less and increase your exercise, you will lose weight. It is basically guaranteed. It may be slower or faster, and there are certainly variables at play, but it's basically impossible to fail. The only way to fail is to not do it. What else that is important to us, and that we work hard at, is so certain to succeed? The hardest part is to decide to be successful. It took me 30-some years. How long will it take you?

CanadianCountryGirl1973

My two cents, and it's not a lot of effort or exercise. It becomes fun, (really, I SWEAR!)

1.) Stop thinking in terms of "I need to lose X amount". That's just a number.
2.) Read the labels at the grocery store. Sometimes, a different brand name right beside your usual has less calories or salt. This starts you into the habit of fully changing your eating habits.
3.) I don't like going to the gym either. And there's nothing more demoralizing than signing up, only to not go. Luckily, the Internet (YouTube) is loaded with a variety of simple exercise. You simply do it before you eat. You can even find a one-minute walk.
4.) While you sign in daily and log food, don't be measuring/weighing yourself all the time. I weigh once a week. If I don't like the scale, I weigh the next week and that's the one I log. Maybe take a measurement or two (hips, waist), but again, I don't measure these things all the time. I can tell what's happening by the way the clothes are fitting.
5.) Don't consider yourself to be dieting. No one goes on a "reverse diet".... like, "I know what I'm going to do today. I'm going to eat junk for the next 2 years and see what happens!". So going on a diet is just as a ridiculous notion. It is a lifestyle change and it's to change habits. And if you bite your nails, or smoke, you will see that it's like any habit. Tough to break. But doable.
6.) Simply do not bring the junk food home. I avoid going in to the gas station because I know I will be tempted for a quick snack (I do pay at the pump though... I don't gas and dash!). I got my husband to do the groceries at first. I knew I would be tempted.
7.) Pay yourself. (Seriously.... I do this with wine during the week.) When you were at the grocery store (but you shouldn't be... remember? Ask someone else to shop!), and you wanted the bag of chips, but you said no, and didn't get them, then pay yourself for the bag of chips. At the end of the week count your money. Use it to buy some really weird healthy food you don't usually eat (I recently used the last few months of "no wine during the week" money to pay the balance on my upcoming cruise.
8.) Slow and steady wins the race. It's not the numbers but the effort that counts. Let your efforts, and small successes boost your self-esteem.

AppleGypsy

Thank you so much, these responses help in a way I never thought possible. I knew you were responding to my post, and when I got home I had a feeling of a sense of responsibility to not eat something horrible, so I wouldn't let you all down haha, weird! I feel much better about this now than I expected to