I am not sure if I believe in myself anymore

krisjohnson121

I really do know how you feel. My weight has gone up and down so much through the years. About 6 years ago I reached my lowest weight 159 lbs. I was with my husband (boyfriend then) - I worked out 4-5 times a week he worked most nights so I had soup for dinner :-) The weight came off relatively easy. Then I had my daughter.

When my daughter was about 2 I got close to my pre-pregnancy weight 163. I remember when I hit it I went out and bought an awesome pair of jeans from H&M that looked great! Later that week I found out I was pregnant with my son. The jeans still have the tags on them!

My son is now 3.5. I have tried losing the weight so many times after he has been born but it is just sticking! Before my first week on a diet I would lose 5 lbs now I am lucky to lose 2. It has been a lot harder! I need to work things around work, 2 kids and my husband still working nights. I started MyFitnessPal about a month ago at 201 lbs. It has been a gradual 1 to 2 lbs a week but I have lost 9 lbs - and while it is not a huge loss I am really starting to feel better. I went clothes shopping this weekend - and that felt really great!

Here are some things that I am trying to keep in my for this time around:
* 1-2 lbs a week is good! Every loss is a loss.
* I am not in a rush
* Enjoy the small successes!
* This is a lifestyle change - so everything I do needs to be something I can do for the rest of my life

Feel free to add me as a friend - we can help each other!

GOOD LUCK!
Kristin

lenoresaari

I lost 16 lbs but have put back on a few and just dont want to erase the loss from my MFP cuz of what "others" will think.. I am eating better overall; more mindful etc but I dont have binge control. What am I doing wrong? I dont have answers except that quitting isnt an option cuz that will just be more pounds. I am going to just keep doing this even if I dont have the energy or will power to do it. I hope it will be a matter of time before I adjust my diet etc to keep me going down rather than up on the scale and becoming more fit rather than less. Dont think you are the only one. Not true. And I am not joining any OA group, WW either. I think it is going to have to be a process rather than an event.

RCottonRPh

Sounds like you are your own worst enemy. You need to get to the root of why you keep sabotaging yourself. You must be benefiting somehow emotionally by remaining overweight.

Lucy_6678

Add me as a friend! I know how you feel and I feel like that a lot! I beat myself up on a daily basis
The nights are the hardest for me too.

Cp731

Maybe you should see a shrink.

watergirl75

"If you've invested enough effort and energy to get discouraged, you're well on your way to success. Discouragement is a certain weigh station on the road to any worthwhile achievement.
If you know and care enough to be discouraged, you've made considerable progress. Learn what the discouragement has to teach you and then continue moving forward. It may seem as though you'll never make it, but in reality you're already there. Discouragement tempers and hardens you; it does not stop you.
Reflect on your discouragement and you'll discover that it is a result of your commitment. You've already invested your time, your effort, your life. Soon, you'll reap the full reward of that investment. Let discouragement spur you on.
Motivation is born of desire. The stronger the desire for something, the stronger the motivation.
Endeaver to keep the promises we make to ourselves... We deserve to be treated with the same love and respect that we would give to others....."


Add me if you would like

Wow! Couldn't have said it better myself! Perfect!

sweetpea03b

OK I looked at your diary. 1) You are eating all your carbs but not all your protein. Try adjusting things to get all that protein in - that's just as important as total calorie count. 2) you aren't logging water... are you drinking 8 glasses/day? You might be holding onto water weight. 3) I think your cals are too low. Have you calculated your BMR and TDEE? I would do that and see where you are. 4) What kind of workout are you doing? Make sure you are doing Cardio AND lifting! 5) If you feel you are depriving yourself so much that you can't even make it through 1 day without binging... I think you need to rething your diet. Its ok to have that stuff you like... in moderation. I still eat cookies, ice cream, etc. when I want it.... every once in a while (maybe once or twice a week for a treat).

Do some adjustments and I'm sure you'll start seeing a loss - good luck!

watergirl75

Maybe you should see a shrink.

You are rude, go somewhere else with that.

themanda04

don't give up! this is hard work.

i have a lot of success by pre-logging all of my food. i have found that by doing that, i can allow myself to eat 'bad' foods if i feel like i want to and not ruin my whole day. for instance, if i know the whole department will be going out to lunch for a coworker's birthday, i take into consideration that it'll be mexican food and i'll be helpless to my demons. so, since i know i won't be able to resist the siren call of enchiladas and beans and flour tortillas...i don't. i just make sure that for the rest of the day i make really, really good choices with my food. when it all plays out at the end of the day, i'm still within my calories. i'm not feeling like i un-did any of my work, i wasn't deprived of food or fellowship with my coworkers, and i'm still rock solid on my path toward the me i deserve. if i didn't pre-log, i might have gone over.

ninerbuff

I will try and try forever...

Being serious here, "trying" may be your problem. Just do it. It's do it or not. I've had to say this to clients on occasion.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

wannabpiper

1. My son is trying to quit smoking and his doctor told him that if he were to wait 10 minutes every time he craved a cigarette, many times he'd just move onto something else and not have that cig. The doc says this advice is also good for over eaters.

2. Stop beating yourself up. As you already know, once we make a "mistake" and eat something we think we shouldn't, we feel bad. Sends that "bad chemical" to our brain. Then we feel so rotten we start beating ourselves up and eat more - self-abuse.

3. You may want to see your doctor to determine if you have depression. I did that, got on Welbutrin, and now am able to manage the feelings associated with mild compulsion issues and frustration over little failures.

Just some thoughts - I hope you don't give up and I hope you learn to love yourself.

Laura

lilred806

I feel very similar to you often. What keeps me going is a statistic I read about smoking once. It was something like the more times people tried to quit smoking the more likely they were to quit. I figure weight loss is similar. Basically if you don't try you won't succed and with each attempt we are more likely to succed.

MelsAuntie

"I don't believe in if any more
If's an illusion, if's an illusion..."

YES you can do it. I did. No more if.

jennifer_417

I have felt like that before. The thing is, you just have to keep trying. On all of your previous attempts, you just may have not been ready to succeed that time around. Think about what's different in your life right now, what's different about you than other attempts. Those things make the difference.

Just. Don't. Quit.

lauren_gibbons

I have just had a look at your diary and it seems like you are eating very little. What is your daily calorie goal? If you are being too strict with yourself and eating less than 1200 a day no wonder you lose interest and go on a binge as that amount does not allow you any extra calories to play with and enjoy different foods.

If you are on 1200 a day Id recommend bumping that up to 1500 at least to give that extra 300 cals to play with and allow yourself an evening treat.

MinnieInMaine

I could've written the same thing several years ago. When I started WW in 2010, I was obese for half of my 36 years (at the time) and had tried several different dieting attempts - WW, Atkins, pills, shakes, etc. I even had the same thought to consider counseling because I couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong with me.

A few things have helped me stick with it this time:

1) Don't deprive yourself or feel like you have to starve yourself. The less you allow the foods you love, the more you'll obsess over them and feel that anxiety that you've expressed. And as you said, it will continue to be so exhausting that you just give up. Instead find ways to incorporate the foods you love. It's ok to eat what you like, just eat less of it and find better alternatives. For instance, I was big into snack cakes a few years ago so I decided to buy chocolate Vitamuffins instead. They're so delicious and only 100 calories. A bit expensive but it was totally worth it in my opinion. Try to put more veggies and fruits in your daily intake and use proteins (lean meat, eggs) and healthy fats (nuts, avocado) to keep you full/satisfied.

2) Whatever change you make, think about whether it's something you can live with for a long time. This was my problem with Atkins - it worked great but it was too hard to deal with certain events in life that were usually loaded with carbs. I muddled through for almost a year then I went on vacation and experienced all kinds of foods I'd been missing out on and I just couldn't face getting back on that diet. Better to make small changes that you know you'll be more comfortable with.

3) As with making small changes in diet, don't feel like you have to all of a sudden kill yourself with some crazy exercise program. Don't believe the hype with all the fitness commercials or poeple who say walking isn't good enough. Of course it is! Anytime you more, it's good enough! Just get out there and do something.

4) If you mess up, get over it and move on. You can't go back and fix it so beating yourself up is a waste of time and energy. Instead, think about how you can face the situation in a better way the next time. Like those leftovers on your kids' plates. Either throw them away and get over it or put them in a container and have them for lunch tomorrow (theirs or yours) if the thought of wasting food bothers you. Or even better, don't cook so much food if you know they won't finish it all. If they want more, have healthy snacks on hand like yogurt, fruits and nuts.

You have to find a way to shut down those voices in your head. You can do this! Take it one day at a time.

mamadon

I'm going to send you a friend request. I am 51 years old. I have spend the last 18 years trying to lose weight, post kids. I have had zero success until this year. Even this last time I did not have a lot of hope. Food is my addiction. I take it one day at a time. I don't know about tomorrow or next week, or next year. All I know is today. All I know is that I will never quit. If I fall off the wagon, then I will just get back on again. If I can do this so can you.

Calliope610

I am the only loser who has tried to lose weight for the last 5 years without success?

I gained lots of weight with my first pregnancy (was overweight to start with) 5 years ago and have been trying to lose weight since. I have lost max 10-13 pounds numerous times before I fall off wagon, start bingeing and gain it back. I am now at my starting weight ONCE AGAIN.
I have done it so many times, including the last 2 years on MFP, that I feel completely defeated. All success stories on MFP, while very inspirational, seem like “not for me because I cannot do it”, I feel like I am not worth all my MFP friends who have been losing weight steadily and moreover I do not believe I can do it anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I start my every day with counting my calories. I normally lose it after my dinner by spoiling all day with a massive binge… I have totally lost my belief in myself. MFP is no place for people like myself.

It is obvious the problem is emotional but I don’t feel I can face AO groups or anyone face-to-face for support. I feel even more loser that I cannot find a willpower to do it all by myself.

I have 75 days left until the all-important-date but I am not sure anymore if I can do it. I would like to lose 22lbs by then.

Anyone who feels we can support each other for “the last time” please add me as a friend.

As a sober (9 yrs) alcoholic, I can attest that my willpower could not keep me from picking up the bottle. I found the help I needed, and the loving support of others who suffered from my problem and who had found a common solution in the rooms of a 12 step meeting. I can't encourage you enough to give it a try!

Ladybud2

I have been in your place many times!!! Instead of saying your diet is ruined, look at it this way. This is what I started doing. When I catch myself binging or eat something I shouldn't. I tell myself to stop, I'm only hurting myself. And my healthy eating starts at that point. I don't wait till the next day. If I do that I will be off track a very long time. This has worked for me, give it a try!! I know you can do it!!! Remember, you can do it and you are so worth it!! Hugs!!!:flowerforyou:

trollsb

Some days I want more than others, I have added a category for from previous day, so I can budget out, and owe myself. Sometimes I find the next day I'm not as hungry, sometimes I am, and I'll need go for a walk or do something extra to pay off the extra, or I roll over part next day again. My diet is not ruined, just averaged out.

I hate throwing out food, so I don't. Your kid's leftovers can go into a container in the fridge, and get reheated tomorrow. Throw it all in a pan chopped up recook and eat with a whole pile of rocket.

If you calculate your TDEE, and know it even though your daily goal will be lower, if you are under TDEE, it may not be a day you have contributed to losing, but it is a day of not gaining - so it isn't a fail.