frustration beyond all else

katiemufuknfitch529

i am highly frustrated with myself, and my inability to lose weight. I need some help with motivation and some success stories and some advice on things that have worked for others! i have a serious problem with self control and saying no, so i think thats part of my problem. any input would be highly appreciated!

wizzybeth

Do you log your food? Everything you eat? With 100% precision and accuracy?

Unknown

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abb117

I agree with wizzybeth. Log absolutely everything then you might be less likely to eat something because you don't want to log it. I also keep a pack of gum and a pack of icebreaker duos on me at all times so that when I want to eat a snack just because, I have one of those

StaciMarie1974

I think of food/calories as a budget. Generally on a daily basis but sometimes 'big picture'. I also realized that I lived a sedentary lifestyle (desk job, spending my nights sitting in front of a computer or on a couch) and that is NOT a good way to live.

So now I choose to be active. To find things to do, rather than just sit back and watch others do stuff. And again, I think of food as a budget. I make an effort to get a variety of fruits/veggies and protein each day. And fill in the rest as I see fit. (Grains, healthy fats are important also but these tend to happen without me 'making' them a priority.) I will generally pre-plan the day, or at least fill in tentative meal & snack plans by midday. Then adjust as needed. This helps me see if I need to cut back on one thing or aim for more of another.

Stats I'm now 40 years old, 123.5 pounds, 5' 5.5". 12-25-13 I weighed 178.5. I reached my goal weight (being under 130) on 10-11-14 and have been maintaining since, finding balance. For most of the time I was losing I ate between 1400-1600, weighing all my food. As I got closer to my goal I increased to 1600-1800. Now 1800-2000 to maintain. I can fit practically anything, though some things are not 'worth it'.

I'm working on my running - and will compete in a 1/2 marathon on Sunday where I expect to combine running & walking. I enjoy running though I'm not the best at it! I will do a 5k in March where I plan to run the whole thing and a 10k in July. Again, my goal is to run the entire distance. Having physical goals/events to work on helps me stay focuses.

I combine activities when I can. I'm a full time grad student, work a full time job & a part time job. I have 3 kids & a husband. I combine hobbies like reading or watching TV with working on the treadmill. I find things to do outside on Saturday. As the weather improves I expect to do things with the family like trail hikes.

TwinkieDong

you have to work on the self control, you have to want it, want it BAD!!!!!!!!! Remember why you are on your journey. If you still cant control yourself, maybe try hypnosis? I heard that can work, or even acupuncture.

diannethegeek

Okay, this is going to sound odd, but practice, practice, practice. Willpower and self control are a lot like a muscle. They can be trained. Every time you practice saying no your willpower is getting a little stronger. Sometimes we overuse it and it fails at the end of the day, but that's okay too. Give yourself a little rest and the willpower will come back.

For me, I had to come up with strategies beyond locking myself in the house with nothing but healthy foods and no temptations ever. That's just not sustainable! :drinker: I dieted through what I call the year of weddings. Seriously, in a six month period I attended four weddings, plus all of the showers, dress fittings, craft parties, and bachelorette parties that came along with them. There were definitely days that I failed and ate too much.

But there were also days that I learned to step back from the snacks. Days that I stopped at just one cupcake, despite the platter literally being shoved at me for more. Days when I just said no to another drink. And I got there by practicing my willpower. Sometimes literally deciding how I would say no in this situation or that situation by practicing it in the car on the way there.

"No thank you, I've had enough," seems like such a simple phrase. But every time I said it I felt bad for my own personal reasons that probably don't make sense to anyone. But I had to get around them and learn to say no. And I did it by practicing.

NikiChicken

I have to echo everyone else. To be successful, you need to weigh, measure and log everything you eat. That and have lots of patience. I just hit 90 pounds down today. The single biggest reason for my success is that I made the commitment to log everything I eat - good, bad or ugly. Day in and day out.

bennettinfinity

OP deactivated... 9 minutes... is that a new record?

gothchiq

What works for me is, if I know I will binge on something, or sabotage my progress with it in any way, I don't buy it or allow it in my home! You can't scarf it down if you don't have it. Substitute things with lower cal and higher nutrition. Smoothies made with frozen fruit are just as delish as ice cream IMHO. Enjoy many flavors of coffee and tea; use decaf if necessary. Hummus and vegetables, or popcorn, are good snacks.

jgnatca

Here's tips I picked up from my therapy sessions this past year.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/jgnatca/view/halting-a-binge-session-715131

girlviernes

The success board is great for motivation. Also, start making friends on here and make sure you log your exercise and complete your diary at the end of the day. The likes and congrats will help build your motivation.

GameGirl777

Commit to a healthy lifestyle. Rid your home of junk food. You don't have to say "no" to everything all the time. Short-term goals will help! Say no to sugar for a week and then after that, eat all you want (if you want to). Say no to fast food for a week. Say no to alcohol for one weekend. You can do it!! Eventually you will build healthy habits into your life and the weight will follow.

emdeesea

Seriously? Lasted all of 10 minutes at best. Yeah, weight loss takes a little longer than that, sorry.

999tigger

I thought she vanished an Dianne gave very good advice there. I always think its a bit depressing when people cant see the conection between what they are doing and how that relates to the results.

Maybe she will come back?

SergeantSausage

Learn to say no.

Logging does no good, folks, unless you can say "no" to going over your quota, right?

Brimixed

First, feel free to add me as a friend on here! I'm always looking for motivating people

Next! Try switching up your workout routine! Try hot yoga or lifting weights. Sometimes your body can get in a rut and needs to be switched up

Secondly, (broken record here) commit to a healthy lifestyle! Try to make GOOD/POSITIVE changes for 28 days and see what happens!

Journal Journal Journal! Write down not only what you're eating, but also what you're feeling and thinking. I find that a healthy and happy mindset is also key in feeling better about yourself and it has a trickle down effect to every other facet of your life.

You can do this!

queenliz99

Sometimes this site gets glitchy, should could be still here.

TheCriz76

all good advice given

diannethegeek

queenliz99 wrote: »

Sometimes this site gets glitchy, should could be still here.

^This was my thought too. I just get sent to a blank page, not the usual "This user has deactivated" message. Either way, the advice may be useful for plenty of lurkers who are struggling with the same things.

999tigger

SergeantSausage wrote: »

Learn to say no.

Logging does no good, folks, unless you can say "no" to going over your quota, right?

Its a first step and an important tool in helping a person understand what they are consuming. They cna start to tighten down later, but understanding whats happening and the consequences of not saying no is a good start.

wizzybeth

If you don't log you don't know how much you've eaten...you don't know if you've gone over or if you have calories left to eat

katiemufuknfitch529

emdeesea wrote: »

Seriously? Lasted all of 10 minutes at best. Yeah, weight loss takes a little longer than that, sorry.

What are you talking about?

CObluegrass

I'm not usually motivated to clean my house, but it's something I have to do. for me, there's no choice. I have to be committed, not motivated. I could not take being fat any more and when I really looked around me, I saw that most of the thin people I know actually work at it. they aren't blessed with some high speed metabolism (except a few like my husband and bff) but most are thin because they are careful with their diet and they are active. having a kid at 40 was pretty motivating though because now I'm more concerned about health and longevity and flexibility than appearance. idk, I just kind of got over it and realized I had no choice. <shrug>

Liftng4Lis

You have to just jump in and do it!

katiemufuknfitch529

I'm just very bad with self control. I have a desk job. I work 7-5, plus overtime. I'm getting 120 hours a check. By the time I get home I am so exhausted that I can't do anything other than cook dinner, head to the grocery store if need be, and do laundry. Then I go to sleep because I have to be up bright and early to make it to work. I never have time to exercise unless its the weekend, then I overdo it when I do exercise and hurt for days. I'm so tired of being fat. And my thyroid medicine was helping me lose weight and now it seems to be the opposite effect. I was dieting hardcore and exercising (mostly cardio) for like 6 months, I gained 46 pounds, so I'm sooo confused.

jgnatca

I'd pick one problem to deal with at a time. Like the self control one. I posted a link with ideas. Change will happen when you decide to tackle an old pattern. It sounds like you are frustrated enough.

It sounds like you have some insight that the hardcore approach is difficult to sustain. This is knowledge; this is power.

terar21

It sounds like you're trying to go too hard too fast. Sometimes you just need to ease into it and allow yourself to take a pace that works for you. Exercising to the point that you're so sore you can't go again is the opposite of what you want to do. Look for something more sustainable.

katiemufuknfitch529

well the exercise was just walking for a few miles like i used to do daily, so i figured i would be fine, then the next day it hurt going down the stairs. I've been trying for 5+ years to lose weight and cutting back on eating, and nothing really worked until i started my thyroid medicine and then that stopped working... Like right now i'm trying to focus on eating less junk food, eating out less, and trying to exercise twice a week. But I've been trying for months and seems to be I'm just getting bigger.

NikiChicken

OP, weight is lost in the kitchen, not the gym. You get fit in the gym. What I mean by that is you can lose weight without ever lifting one finger in exercise. I go through periods when I exercise and when I don't. My weight loss is consistent regardless, although I always feel better - both mentally and physically - when I do exercise.

What exercise *does* do is help you feel good, look good and maintain any weight loss you have, but don't depend on it for weight loss. You have to control your eating first. You will never, ever out run your fork.

The single biggest habit (and you have to MAKE it a habit) that will make you successful is to weigh, measure and log everything you eat. EVERYTHING. Being conscious of what you put in your mouth is critical. I have also found that when I know I have to log that bagel or donut or unplanned hamburger and fries, I am far less likely to put it in my mouth. That doesn't mean I don't eat those things - I DO! I just plan for them now - and TRACK them.

NikiChicken

Oh, and I also work 7-5, plus overtime. I also elementary-aged son and a disabled husband. Everyone is busy. You still have to make time for yourself because nobody else will. It takes a few minutes at each meal to log your food. If you want to exercise, walk on your lunch hour. Really, taking care of yourself does not take a huge time commitment.

I don't mean to sound critical of you. I just want to make it clear that everyone is busy and it's just a matter of making yourself a priority.