How do you find your WHY?

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39in39
39in39 Posts: 32 Member
in Motivation and Support
You've heard many variations of the saying, "When you find your WHY you'll find your HOW," but how do you find your WHY?
I have the usual things, wanting to look good, feel good, keep active with my kids, but I still haven't found the WHY that keeps me from shoving food in my pie hole. I love to work out but it's the food that hold me back. Been working with a therapist but this layer of the onion is too deep.
How did you find your WHY?
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Replies

  • melly0405
    melly0405 Posts: 215 Member
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    Sometimes it's as simple as "because you deserve it". We all deserve to be happy and we all need to be healthy! If not for yourself think about this, kids often mirror what they see us do not what we tell them to do. So every time we make a poor nutritional choice we are showing them it's the thing to do. Good luck
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    My "why" was in April 2011. I went to a school event with my daughter, and had trouble just walking to the door of the school. I had to stop a few times along the way, and once inside the door, I had to sit on the floor because I was so out of breath, and out of shape. The teachers kept asking me if I needed help, and I had the gall to tell them it was their fault for making me walk so far. I was totally embarrassed and humiliated. I've been searching once again for my "why" because I've become complacent.

    Sometimes your "why" is that you're just fed up with things how they are, you know *something* has to change, and it might as well be you. It comes when you actually would rather go through the "uncomfortable" that comes with making changes rather than just being uncomfortable with how you are now.

    My current "why" is that I have to fly to Washington DC in June, and I'd like to be more comfortable in the plane seats.
  • kathrynrf89
    kathrynrf89 Posts: 26 Member
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    I want to have children. Then, after I have children I want to be healthy for them. I have tried loosing weight in the past for more short term "why;s" and I would loose some weight only to become content with it, and then stop trying. I always eventually gained it back. This is the first time I have a solid, long term why, and it is the first time that I have worked at it for a long time. I have no reason to stop now, but one really great reason to keep moving forward.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    It was easy to find for me. Got diagnosed with pre-diabetes and my "why" has been to do all I can to make my chances better not to get it. Seems to be working so far (glucose in the normal range now), but if I do get it eventually, at least I wouldn't blame it on my non-action.
  • TeresaGoal145lbs
    TeresaGoal145lbs Posts: 57 Member
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    I have a standard for the way I want to look, and I tie it to my weight goal. But mainly, it's when I got a couple of people in a two week period tell me "Congrats" on being pregnant (family members no less) that I got my why. One day I wish to be pregnant again, but for now, I just want to look non-pregnant sexy.
  • TeresaGoal145lbs
    TeresaGoal145lbs Posts: 57 Member
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    Just to add~ I recently cut down on drinking a few glasses of wine a day to one and someday none...and yeah it helps with removing those calories to help me lose weight, but it's also because I want to be able to have another kid in the near future, and want to stop drinking altogether when I get pregnant. That for me is a strong desire that's helping me stop drinking. Not weight, but similar to having a Why.
  • kecmw25
    kecmw25 Posts: 2,743 Member
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    My WHY is my daughter. I was 40 when I had her and would like to be around for as much of her life as possible. I have other whys too. I actually would really like to have another child but know that it's not likely with my age. So I figure, the closer I am to a healthy weight, the better the chance. Why #3 my sister-in-law got engaged about a year ago and I really wanted to be in her wedding but didn't want to be the "chubby bridesmaid". Well, she gets married next month and I'm in it! I'm pretty sure I bought the biggest size bridesmaid dress but I don't feel chubby anymore so it's all good.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    39in39 wrote: »
    You've heard many variations of the saying, "When you find your WHY you'll find your HOW," but how do you find your WHY?
    I have the usual things, wanting to look good, feel good, keep active with my kids, but I still haven't found the WHY that keeps me from shoving food in my pie hole. I love to work out but it's the food that hold me back. Been working with a therapist but this layer of the onion is too deep.
    How did you find your WHY?

    I don't like to think about it.
    My mom died a couple of years ago. She struggled with her weight as long as I can remember. Over time she found it difficult to walk places. Sleeping in her bed was uncomfortable. She developed cancer twice and other health problems. She spent her last years mostly in a chair.
    My weight was creeping up. I started having trouble keeping up with others when walking even when walking my fastest. I had pain in my hip and other places. I was getting out of breath climbing stairs. Clothes weren't fitting. F that! I'm only 40 years old. I deserve to live a long healthy life doing things. I don't want to be stuck in a chair. I loved my mom but I don't want to end up like her.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,711 Member
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    cebreisch wrote: »
    My "why" was in April 2011. I went to a school event with my daughter, and had trouble just walking to the door of the school. I had to stop a few times along the way, and once inside the door, I had to sit on the floor because I was so out of breath, and out of shape. The teachers kept asking me if I needed help, and I had the gall to tell them it was their fault for making me walk so far. I was totally embarrassed and humiliated. I've been searching once again for my "why" because I've become complacent.

    Sometimes your "why" is that you're just fed up with things how they are, you know *something* has to change, and it might as well be you. It comes when you actually would rather go through the "uncomfortable" that comes with making changes rather than just being uncomfortable with how you are now.

    My current "why" is that I have to fly to Washington DC in June, and I'd like to be more comfortable in the plane seats.

    Well said! OP, I would add that it's not always one, big earth-shattering WHY, although it can be for some people. Sometimes we have a different WHY every day to varying degrees. Don't wait around for a big WHY moment. Find a useful WHY each day.
  • OhReally42
    OhReally42 Posts: 138 Member
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    kathrynrf89 wrote: »
    I want to have children. Then, after I have children I want to be healthy for them. I have tried loosing weight in the past for more short term "why;s" and I would loose some weight only to become content with it, and then stop trying. I always eventually gained it back. This is the first time I have a solid, long term why, and it is the first time that I have worked at it for a long time. I have no reason to stop now, but one really great reason to keep moving forward.

    I really want to lose weight to be able to have healthy kids and be healthy for them too, but for some reason that hasn't been a big enough "WHY" for me. I guess it still doesn't feel like I'm doing it for me if it's for another human being,even if it is family =/ really sucks
  • ETHawkins82
    ETHawkins82 Posts: 1
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    My "WHY". It feels good! It hurts to be unhealthy. People look at you different. I looked at myself negatively. I'd sit on the couch a watch life go by. Now I'm walking the dog. Pulling the kids around on the tobogon. Leading by example.

  • 39in39
    39in39 Posts: 32 Member
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    These are so good!
    Thanks!
  • saraphim41
    saraphim41 Posts: 205 Member
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    When you REALLY don't want ____________________ (fill in blank: exercise, put down the fork, plan another menu, track what you ate, etc.), but you go and do it anyway because__________________ . That's your motivation.

    Jillian Michaels says that looking for motivation--and especially WAITING for motivation--is a monumental waste of time. Just do it. The motivation actually shows up later, when you see the results.

    I just try to remember that I can do almost anything for one more day. And someday I'll look back and be both amazed and proud.

    Keep going. And may Success chase you down the street!
  • CA_Underdog
    CA_Underdog Posts: 733 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Jillian Michaels says that looking for motivation--and especially WAITING for motivation--is a monumental waste of time. Just do it. The motivation actually shows up later, when you see the results.
    +10. If I always waited to "feel motivated" to go to work, I wouldn't have a job. ;)

    Results do often lead to motivation.

    For example, I've been increasing the weight on my bench press every week. If I show up and put in 2-3 tough sessions, I can be reasonably confident I'll enjoy a new PR.
  • donnawtm
    donnawtm Posts: 35 Member
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    saraphim41 wrote: »

    Keep going. And may Success chase you down the street!

    I love this!
  • IslandSneezerooo
    IslandSneezerooo Posts: 268 Member
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    Maybe it's not about finding your WHY, but more about just taking action now. My mantra is "motivation comes from action, not the other way around." I've found it to be very true. The more days in a row I log my food and hit my goals, the more days I get up and exercise, the more motivated I am to keep working at it.
  • Lindsay_the_great
    Lindsay_the_great Posts: 209 Member
    edited February 2015
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    I think the real definition of your WHY is intrinsic motivation. Not guilt or someone telling you why you need to do it, but a drive within yourself to succeed or to keep up or to just learn to obey yourself. You can't get that from someone else. It may take some soul searching. I agree with RillaVanilla, too. Have you ever heard the saying "fake it till you make it?" Do that. I didn't get my "why" until about a year after I started.
  • Danilynn1975
    Danilynn1975 Posts: 294 Member
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    No particular why, But lots of reasons to keep it up.

    I was military once, and the thought of continuing to be fat by those regulations shamed me.

    I like having mirrors in my house. Got rid of them while I was big.

    I like nice clothes, and never would buy them while heavy.

    I love knowing I beat the odds living in the fattest state in America.

    I got my self esteem back. That alone is worth every bit of it and why I continue.

    Truthfully it wasn't health reasons, it was my own ego and vanity.
  • 39in39
    39in39 Posts: 32 Member
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    Been "faking" it for years but I still can't figure out what makes me want to put down the pizza. I don't have a problem getting to the gym. It's food. Fake it til you make it doesn't work with food.
  • IslandSneezerooo
    IslandSneezerooo Posts: 268 Member
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    39in39 wrote: »
    Been "faking" it for years but I still can't figure out what makes me want to put down the pizza. I don't have a problem getting to the gym. It's food. Fake it til you make it doesn't work with food.

    Just curious... Why is pizza, or any other food for that matter, a problem? I'm learning to work whatever food I want into my macros and if it's too many calories, I can always work out longer to get my net cals down. I did the deprivation diet for most of my life and it is not sustainable long term.

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