Cooking for my kids (3yo/5yo)

mrsmiley32

So I might be on a calorie deficit diet but my kids shouldn't be. With how active they are and being well fed is key to a budding youth's mind and body growth. I am not going to feed them the same 300 calorie meals (4oz meat + 4oz veggies + 2oz rice is between 250 calories and 350 calories according to USDA and that includes cooking fat for the meat and veggies) I'm planning for myself. HOWEVER, I have always gave them the "I'm not a short order cook" speech and I'm a big believer in "what I cooked is what we all eat". Now I know I could supplement with snacks but healthy snacks I assume would still be too little actual calories and unhealthy snacks just seems like a stupid idea from the get go since I'm at least trying to teach them to choose healthier but theirs nothing wrong with fulfilling a craving as long as you don't go overboard.

So I have a few questions:
- A) Since all the websites I have found while looking for "Minimum calories for a toddler" say "don't worry they'll be fine, don't put them on a diet" (again, exactly the opposite of what I'm trying to do) and don't actually list an ideal amt of calories I should at least aim to provide them a day does anyone here know?
- Do any of you have kids/run into this problem/how did you solve it?
- C) Any other advice you might suggest (beyond cooking two different meals, I'm really trying to avoid that one).

TO BE CLEAR I AM NOT PUTTING MY KIDS ON A DIET, I AM TRYING TO MAKE SURE THEY GET FED AT MINIMUM ENOUGH (I seriously DO NOT care how much my kids eat because the way I look at it, it's there life I can only try to instill good habits).

StaciMarie1974

I don't know the ideal # recommended for a toddler/preschooler. Mine are older now (youngest is 13) and so its been a while, but I think the general theory was let them control how much they eat, within reason. And if there are ever any concerns with weight change (too fast or too slow) to discuss with your pediatrician.

Have snacks on hand for between meals. That's fine for you & them. Fruit, yogurt, etc. And at meal time: eat the same foods. Your personal priority is to pay attention to how much you eat, so that you have a caloric deficit. They should get the same food groups - protein, veggies, grains - but don't worry so much about their portions. I would not overload their plates, but allow them to request 2nds. (I have never been a proponent of the clean your plate club.)

Amanda4change

My son (he's 4) was a very low birth weight baby, he's always been low on the weight percentile (under 20th percentile). Once he hit 2 his doctor and I have tried getting weight on him (he has a milk protein allergy, so all cow based dairy is a no go). I pumped until 6 months ago and use the breast milk I have stock piled to make yogurt and ice cream for him. Anyway I digress. His doctor said to not attempt to count his calories, as long as I'm offering him healthy foods (not a diet full of chips, fast food ect) to offer foods and let him choose when he is full. I do offer calorie dense foods (peanut butter, avocado, etc) Kids have this amazing ability to know when they are full, when they are hungry etc. doing this he's gained 5 pounds in the past year (which raised him from the 20th percentile to the 35th). Your kids will let you know if they aren't getting enough calories, either by telling you they are hungry, or by other means, meaning they are cranky (but can't tell you why), less energy to play, not sleeping well etc.

jgnatca

They can eat the same things you do, just don't control the portions. Encourage seconds. Encourage adventurousness with new foods, and have some creativity. My girlfriend with fussy grandchildren, puts out cut-up fruit for them to make their own fruit kabobs. Or fruit pizza.

I wouldn't worry about fats. They should be drinking full-fat milk, enjoying nuts, and eating sources of omega-3 fatty acids like salmon. This helps with cognition development.

Keep fruits around for snacks. Have dips for vegetables.

mommyof4cpa

I agree with the responses you've received. The general rule in our house when my kids were younger was that parents decided the "what" and the kids decided the "how much".

Talkradio

Can your kids eat dairy? Full fat yogurt and cheese might put your mind at ease. Children need fat in their diet, and the vitamins in dairy are fat soluble. Eggs and peanut butter also pack a lot of punch and are pretty kid friendly. If you are looking for filling snacks, maybe think along the line of fruit or veggie plus nut butter, cheese and triscuits, whole milk yogurt, etc.

I would not stress too much about the actual calories. Focus on giving them a wholesome variety and let them control their consumption (as others said, within reason).

suzan06

Mine are 5 and 7. They eat what we eat, as many portions as they want. And if they are still hungry or don't care for it, they get offered something full of fat and protein- peanut butter on toast or an apple, scrambled egg, cheese, full fat yogurt, etc.

I will say that my 7 year old recently went through a growth spurt abd it was insane. He was probably eating at least 3500 calories a day if not more. I did some research and it looks like for preschool through 10-12 they need the same number of calories as a maintenance adult, and then as a teenager they need more.

JessRaddatz

I have a 4 and 6 year old and they eat what we eat. Like you, I am not a short order cook in my house. I make dinner and that's what the whole family has. I portion mine out and I let the kids decide how much they want to eat. If they want seconds, then they are welcome to them. I refuse to make separate meals. My time is limited enough without having to make four different dinners. Like another poster said, you choose what, they choose how much.

mkakids

The US guidelines say from ages 2-3 they need between 1,200 and 1,500 cals a day. ages 4-8 need 1400 - 1800.

AgentOrangeJuice

You didn't calculate their TDEE and Macros? bad parenting.

Michelletrk

I make a bunch of chicken breast on Sunday, then if Tuesday Hubby and the kids are eating bacon cheese burgers, I just grab one of the chicken breasts for me, or if I'm picking up pizza because I got out of work late, I dice a chickne breast into my salad and skip the pizza. Most days we all eat the same thing but that way I don't feel like I have to cheat because they are and they don't feel bad about eating pizza while I don't . Works out well.

Amanda4change

JessRaddatz wrote: »

I have a 4 and 6 year old and they eat what we eat. Like you, I am not a short order cook in my house. I make dinner and that's what the whole family has. I portion mine out and I let the kids decide how much they want to eat. If they want seconds, then they are welcome to them. I refuse to make separate meals. My time is limited enough without having to make four different dinners. Like another poster said, you choose what, they choose how much.

I wish I didn't have to make separate meals, but I often end up with 2 if not 3 every night. I have 3 kids at home two can't have cows milk, one (who can't have milk) also can't have poultry (or eggs), and one is vegetarian (that's my 19 year old, I usually make her either make a plate from parts of the other meals, or make her own food). And my husband doesn't eat red meat (he eats fish and poultry). I eat damn near anything except pork (religious reasons) and I don't drink cows milk (mainly because I am to cheap to buy 3 kinds of milk) , but do eat cheese, yogurt etc.

Codilee87

I just feed mine (2y/o and 5y/o) when they are hungry.

- Breakfast: either cold cereal with milk, oatmeal with apples and ground flax or W/W bread with peanut butter & fruit. S
- Snack: fruit, cheese, yogurt, dry cereal, apple sauce (or some combination of these)
- Lunch is usually soup, sandwich, hot dogs or zoodles/alphagetti.
- Another snack: cheese & crackers with veggie sticks
- Dinner: whatever I make (chicken & veg, tacos, lasagna, pork tenderloin, etc)
- Dessert: cookies, chocolate square, hot chocolate
- Bedtime Snack: bread w/ peanut butter.

I've never bothered to work out what the calories would be but I assume its upward of 2000. They eat A LOT. And are both on the low end of their weight category lol They are both very good at eating all their veggies, they don't necessarily love them but they don't throw a fit about it. I feed them whenever they are hungry. If I think they are begging for a snack just because they want candy or a juice box I'll tell them they can wait but if they seem genuinely hungry (I offer carrots/celery and they say yes) then I will find them something to eat. They also drink tons of milk, 4-5 large glasses a day.

jgnatca

I cured my daughter of vegetarianism by cooking bacon. That and getting the other side of the story from our local agriculture department.

rekite2000

I make a normal meal- I eat my portion and they their portion (2 year old and 4 year old). Just like I tell them I won't make them special food, I don't do the same. We all eat dinner together. Last night, I left off the Mac and cheese on mine. I won't eat a roll. I eat small portions. You don't need to eat special food- just eat less of what you make. I typically eat 500 calorie meals so not an issue for my kids really.

Amanda4change

jgnatca wrote: »

I cured my daughter of vegetarianism by cooking bacon. That and getting the other side of the story from our local agriculture department.

LOL, I'm one of the few who thinks bacon is evil. I don't eat pork but I use to cook it for the family, right up until I had a freak accident and bacon grease splashed in my eye. (burned my eyeball and I was blind for almost a month), now I no longer cook it. She just doesn't do well with meat, most of it makes her physically ill. She's 19 now and has been a vegetarian for just over 5 years

Francl27

For what it's worth, my kids' calorie needs at 6 is smaller than mine. So I wouldn't worry at all about feeding your kids what you eat. 300-350 calories is typically what my kids eat for dinner too... and they eat 'unhealthy' snacks.

Typically school day for my kids is

- Cereal and a yogurt tube for breakfast (200 calories)
- Sandwich (ham or cheese), or 4 chicken nuggets, or half a bagel with cream cheese, with fruit and a cookie/handful of pretzels/goldfish at lunch plus chocolate milk or juice (450 calories)
- cereal bar as school snack (120 calories)
- random 100-200 calorie snack when they get home (pretzel, goldfish, cheese, yogurt, fruit, jello, whatever)
- same dinner as us, but they eat less of it, so probably 300 calories
- they typically have a small dessert, 100 calories of ice cream or something

So that's less than 1400 calories, assuming they eat everything... which is about what they need at their age.

This site gives you a good idea of what kids need. At 3 and 5 they need 1000-1200 calories pretty much.

http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/Dietary-Recommendations-for-Healthy-Children_UCM_303886_Article.jsp

Liftng4Lis

Give them what you eat, only not in moderation. Additionally, you could throw in a starch for them.

HeySwoleSister

Your children are much smaller than you are, 300 calorie meals might be just what they need to fuel their growth.

I agree with the other posters that, barring any complications like the aforementioned allergies, they should be eating just what you are if you are eating a balanced diet and not a specialty thing that restricts certain macros, etc. They are developing their food tastes now, as preschoolers...they'll be happy when they reach adulthood already liking stuff like fish and veggies.

One thing my mom always did when I was growing up was that she kept a veggie tray with homemade dip out from the time we got home from school until dinner. We could get other snacks when we first got home, but by about 4:30, mom always said, "I'm cooking, don't mess around in the kitchen. Eat what's on the table if you are hungry." So we did. And I was in my 20s by the time I figured out why mine were the only parents who didn't tell us we couldn't eat right up to dinnertime, and then didn't make us finish our cooked veg. Duh. We'd all been stuffing our faces with raw broccoli and celery and bell peppers before dinner! We're all big raw veggie fans to this day.

Plus my mom is a terrible cook. That dip of hers is probably one of the few things she can make that isn't really unpalatable, LOL.

andylllI

I provide the food and let the kids control the portions. Mine are 1 + 3. Sometimes I will cook different protein for myself while keeping it in the same food "family" for example, salmon for the kids, sole for me. Or I'll roast a chicken and give them the thighs and drumsticks and my husband and I will eat the breast. I will often skip the starch portion of the meal and eat extra veggies or a side salad.

nicsflyingcircus

mommyof4cpa wrote: »

I agree with the responses you've received. The general rule in our house when my kids were younger was that parents decided the "what" and the kids decided the "how much".

^^^This.

My kids are older (9, 11, 12 and 14) and while they have to start with a balanced plate (veg, starch, protein), they are free to have more of whatever and also, it is possible they might die without snacks. Our fridge has a drawer that contains nothing but yogurt (2%, not fat-free), cheese, fruit and veg that they basically have free reign of, plus pretzels, granola bars, etc.

Despite my fatness, the kids are all active and healthy with no weight problems. MY 12yo son is just a hair over 5'7", wears a size 11-11.5 men's shoe, eats enough for three people and can't get over 100lbs, lol. To be fair though, my husband was 6' and 130lbs when he went off to college at age 18. Genetics at play, lol.

SingRunTing

Since you're already on the "I'm not a short order cook" train, you don't need advice in that direction.

So you do what my husband and I do. We have different calorie and macro needs, but we eat the same foods every night at dinner. We just both eat different portion sizes of said food. Sometimes he'll add some bread to his, or I'll sprinkle on some cheese on mine to account for different macro needs, but the base meal is the same.

We also snack on different things to fill in those gaps.

Make your meal, weigh out your portion and then serve them the way you would have before. Keep in mind that you don't always have to cook "healthy" meals. Teaching healthy eating is important, but you don't have to completely cut out things like mac & cheese or pizza. Just work those into your calories/macros once in a while. Losing weight does not mean you have to eat boring food.

Sarahland

I have a 7 year old, a 2 year old, and a husband. We all eat the same thing at the same time. That doesn't mean my children are on a diet, it means my whole family eats healthy and I am able to portion control to meet my calorie goals.

jumblejups

My toddler has more calorie dense foods than I do, in addition to our meals. He is tall (99th percentile) but has always been slimmer - currently 28th percentile for infant BMI. So I understand your thinking about wanting to make sure they eat enough. I have go-to items that are calorie dense that can be added to the same meal or as a snack, eg: peanut butter (we use 100%, no added anything), full fat natural yoghurt to which I usually add fruit puree, cheese (usually melted mozzarella!), avocado pieces, hummus, malted fruit toast. He is a fan of bananas, raisins and rice cakes as snacks in particular. He has a large glass of full fat milk at breakfast every day, to which I usually add a milk mix. All of these different things seem to keep him going and he has never been underweight. As my husband's grandma says, "if he's looking skinny, add butter"