UGH!!! Seriously!! Motivation????? Ripple Effect??

kodak1122

At my heaviest I was 230 lbs, and then life happens. When I lost near 40 lbs I was an avid Gym goer, and tracked everything I ate by doing Weight Watchers and counting my points. Then one day I stopped going to the gym because I let something that happened in my life get the best of me and stopped going. I also got comfortable with where I was at and felt there was no need to track anymore, I knew what I was taking in and pretty much just guessing. Then weight starting coming back on, (it is like a damn ripple effect) I started hating what I looked like in pictures again and so there began me tracking again, however I was not going to the gym because I was a single mom of 5 and could not afford it (still was a little scared too). The weight was creeping off ever so slowly, which is frustrating because I just wanted to feel pretty again, but instead the slower the weight came off the worse I felt. I know though that if I would have just made myself exercise more I could do it. But really who wants to exercise at night when you are exhausted from a day of running around with the kiddos? Then a wonderful man came into my life, and not a day went/goes by that he did/does not call me "beautiful", which lead to me being comfortable again, and once again led to me slowly putting the weight back on, which led to me hating seeing pictures of myself. A few years later, this man was asking me to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him, which led to me thinking "Oh man, I want to be a beautiful bride, I do not want to regret my wedding pictures. So my husband and I and a few friends joined a challenge in a local town and joined MFP, and the pounds starting coming off again. I started to maintain, we got married in October 2014 (private ceremony), I was beautiful, then our daughter ended up in the hospital for over 4 weeks, and on came the pounds again!! Now we are planning our reception for our friends and family, I know if I were to put my dress on today it would be very tight. So once again, we joined the challenge in our community with some friends and I am tracking once again....but really feel like this ripple effect has got to stop. This time I want the motivation, but how do I get it, when I feel like I am going no where? I know the key to losing and keeping weight off is exercise, diet, and slowly in a healthy way, taking the weight off, but seriously sometimes my patience can run so low.

This is when I lost like 40 lbs. and I was getting comfortable.



This is me at my heaviest.



Our Wedding Day October 2014



Me Now.

My biggest struggle today is knowing I need to exercise, but I can not get the motivation to do it, I feel almost embarrassed to get back out there. I don't want people staring and laughing at me. I am looking for pals that feel the same way and maybe we could encourage each other.