Stress is killing me

tammycolbert

I wish I wasn't one of those that stress ate but rather couldn't eat at all. I have so much going on right now. I want a divorce, I want to leave, but I have no money and no place to go with my kids. He will NOT leave and doesn't want a divorce. We are broken why can't he just accept that. So what do I do, I eat, and I eat nothing but crap. I had over 1000 calories for breakfast today. Worst part is, I know I am doing it. It's not an unconscience effort. I just can't deal with this anymore.

lisac195

The only thing you can change in this situation is you. Because the other things in your life seem out of your control to you, try to seize the getting healthy for YOU and make it work. Start now, with your very next meal and make a plan to eat right. Plan your meals, even go ahead and log them beforehand to make yourself accountable. You can do it. You are causing stress for yourself by believing you are not capable when you know in your mind that you are. Hang in there. And start now.

TavistockToad

Don't they have shelters or hostels where you live?

scottacular

I went through a bit of a binge phase last year and still sometimes have to actively stop myself from going down that path again. It's easier said than done, but what eventually helped me was when the urge gets really strong thinking about the pros and cons of mass eating and thinking about how you're going to feel after and where you really want to be.

mamaomefo

A lot of stress for sure, but as lisac said above, now is the time you take back for yourself. You are doing this for YOU! You are investing in your future to make it longer and better. Better health makes life easier to live than being unhealthy. I am sorry you are having many difficulties now. If you can get in a bit of exercise EVERY day, walk, even with the children walking to if possible, it will brighten your outlook as you do it more and more. Exercise is a key to unlock good health. Bless you, hope your life stressors settle down with your commitment to yourself and your health.

enterdanger

I'm so sorry. I stress eat too. I think it is because it is mindless, comforting, and some times feels like the only thing you can control.

In my experience, Lisa is right. You can't change anything but yourself. If you are in a relationship and the other person has all the resources it time to find outside help. Especially if the situation endangers your or your kids well-being.

Your profile talks about a boyfriend...is this the husband you want a divorce from?

ruperthumphrey

Is it possible for you to seek free counselling? You cannot do anything about your spouse, but you have control over your life. Don't stay with your husband just because you can't afford to move out. You have to think of your children, they are your first priority. Don't think that you are doing them any favours by staying with their father. They know more than what you think and it is hurting them too.

deksgrl

Start making plans and then executing on the plans.

mrengineer001

Tammy
I agree with every one I here. We here to support you but you have to make the move. You can only control your side of things to the most part.
DONT LET HIM KEEP YOU DOWN!!!
How about your parents? Brother? Sisters? Aunts? Uncles? There is someone out there who cares.
Reach out and ask for help. Taking the first steps is always the hardest. But you the one who have to do it.
Don't take it out on food. I know I am a comfort eater trust me it is not worth it. Keep your head up, your kids are watching every move you make. It is our job as parents to teach our kids to be strong.
Good luck
I am here if you like to talk more

Sandcastles61

Good Morning, Tammy . 11 years ago I found myself in a similar situation with the end of my nearly 20 yr marriage.... It was a two year experience I wouldn't wish on anyone

Self sabotage is sometimes our way of controlling the only thing we "think" we have control over in our lives. But, the only person we end up hurting in the end is ourselves.

Meanwhile, you have kiddos depending on you and most importantly you DESERVE to treat yourself like you wish your husband did! Envision what you see your happy self is like.... then take CONTROL of the only thing you truly can. You can't control your husband's words or actions, but you can make a conscious effort to decide just one time today maybe to go for a short walk instead of hitting the kitchen.... Then DO IT. Tomorrow, do it again, maybe twice instead of once...... Then smile because YOU WON

Someone once also told me to envision I was wearing a backpack..... You look inside your backpack to see why it's so heavy. As you look closer you realize you are carrying around tons of items for your kids, several items for your husband, and there's only really one or two things in there that are actually yours. Then you dump out your backpack and make a pile of all the stuff that belongs to other people. As hard as it may be not to clean up the mess for them you just made, just leave their stuff where it falls and only put the items that truly belong to you and you alone back into your backpack..... When you put it on this time you marvel at how light it actually is Essentially, you can be a "survivor" and climb inside someone else's backpack.... A "warrior" and own your own backpack.... Or a "victim" and allow others into your backpack

Between you and your husband.... Here's to hoping you can find your own inner warrior to give you personal responsibility, self control and ownership for only your decisions and actions. It may have a secondary effect of making you interdependent instead of carrying the whole emotional load yourself

Take care,

Tami

Cortneyrenee04

I used to be the same way, and now I'm the opposite. I've been going through it a lot lately. I've been using mfp to make sure I eat ENOUGH!

It helped me to start realizing that stress eating doesn't help anything, it just makes things worse.

I hope things get better for you ❤️

spzjlb

I am so sorry for your situation. I agree with most here.

I wonder if you are subconciously using the term "stress eating" as an excuse. You are perhaps subconciously eating because you want to be fat and undesirable to drive your partner away (and also because you are mad at him).

I suggest this because I had a similar issue. My husband and I were in a terrible phase several years ago but we were working out together. Once, he made a nasty comment when I was doing push-ups. I stopped exercising for two years and gained well over 20 lbs. I blamed him for everything. But, it is under MY control. I finally found Mfp and it helped me move past my hang up. I've done some sort of exercise every day for the past couple of months, lost some weight and feel much better about myself, which really is the ultimate goal.

Good luck. Courage!

Lindsay_the_great

tammyturcotte wrote: »

I wish I wasn't one of those that stress ate but rather couldn't eat at all. I have so much going on right now. I want a divorce, I want to leave, but I have no money and no place to go with my kids. He will NOT leave and doesn't want a divorce. We are broken why can't he just accept that. So what do I do, I eat, and I eat nothing but crap. I had over 1000 calories for breakfast today. Worst part is, I know I am doing it. It's not an unconscience effort. I just can't deal with this anymore.

You need to do something to take charge of your situation. You feel completely out of control. I've been there. I didn't do it right and now I only get my kids on weekends. Worst mistake of my life. Talk to a lawyer as soon as you can. See what options you have in your state. Eating is a symptom of a problem. Take steps to fix the problem.

dontjinxit

deksgrl wrote: »

Start making plans and then executing on the plans.

This.
Sell everything in the damn house, find an income, move on, and sue the hell out of him in divorce.