A little body dysphoria with weight loss

ibamosaserreinas

In the last few weeks I have hit this point where when I look in the mirror I almost don't recognize myself or my body. I will be doing daily tasks and look down at my arm, or hand, or leg and not recognize it. It is a strange almost out of body experience where I don't seem to recognize the parts as "me".

Perhaps using the term body dysphoria is a little overly dramatic since that is generally a much more serious thing and yet this weird experience of looking at my body and not feeling like "me" is strange. I am not negative about this new body I just wonder when my brain will catch up with the body if that makes any sense?

Has anyone else ever gone through that?


Some background info - I have been hitting the gym heavy lifting and doing cardio for almost seven months now and eating fairly healthy and clean for about 6 months. The body differences are huge. I have lost 45 pounds (still have about another 50 to go).

I have also been overweight my entire life. At just under 200 pounds right now I weight less than I did in junior high school.

cheshirecatastrophe

I'm sorry, I don't have any advice...but I still had to say congrats, you're pretty darn awesome!

sofaking6

I think that's really normal - your brain holds an image of your body which it uses to navigate through space without running into stuff. I figure it takes time for that image to change as your body changes.

meritage4

Take tons of photos so you can realize what you do look like. It will help.

milkywayward

I think it takes a little bit of time to get used to big body changes — losing a lot of weight is a bit like going through puberty in terms of the effect it has on your body except that for most people puberty lasts about five years whereas weight-loss happens within a few months to a year or two. It'll probably take a few months at least before it really 'clicks' that this is your body now, maybe even a couple of years, especially if you've identified with being overweight your whole life. But eventually you'll start to associate your current/future body with yourself and ultimately thinking about yourself as overweight will probably be as far-removed from your current experience as thinking about yourself as a child.

gbel1975

Yes, body dysmorphia (that's what I tend to suffer from, although it's different than body dysphoria) is difficult. As I lose weight, I tend to see myself getting "smaller," which of course is the point. But I feel like I'm less muscular, which weighs greatly on me. For the last two months I've been training for a half marathon, so cardio and running have been priorities. I haven't been doing any heavy lifting (which I typically don't anyhow) so I certainly haven't put on muscle. But the fact of the matter is that I know I haven't lost any as I've measured my arms, chest, legs, neck, etc.

For me it's hard to accept that I can look different than the perception of what I've always thought about myself...a fat guy. This is deeply rooted from childhood. Although I wasn't the "fat kid" I always felt like that. To this day I'm highly uncomfortable without my shirt at the pool, etc.

tomatoey

Yes, absolutely, it's really common. I remember bumping into things and having weird relationships with objects (like almost missing a chair when I went to sit down) because my sense of myself in space hadn't caught up! And, that was after only five or so years of being overweight by about 50 lbs. So I imagine that if you've lived in your body as it was all your life, it might be even more disconcerting.

It will just take time. Maybe slow down your rate of loss for a while if it's all been coming off really quickly.

GuineaKitty

I get it. Looking in the mirror thinking is this me. Seeing postive changes like smaller arms but thinking ugh stomach is so werid looking. Now I'm focused on the good and working on changing the bad. Good. Luck to you and congratulations on the weight loss.

ibamosaserreinas

Thanks everyone. I am glad that I am not alone.

@tomatoey - I think slowing down might be a really good idea. Great advice.

@meritage4 - Also great advice. I have not taken enough photos of this journey.

leggup

I can't tell you how long before it goes away because it hasn't for me. By 10 months into my weight loss I was down 50 lbs. Now, in month 13, I'm down ~65 lbs. Ever since I hit the 50 lbs lost mark I've had trouble identifying with my own body when I catch a glimpse of myself.

It'll be little things, like my reflection in glass, trying on an outfit that should be too small and it's too big, wearing too big clothing and layered big cardigans to recapture some of my older bulk so as to recognize myself. I'm the smallest I've ever been in my adult life (post high school), which is probably the hardest thing.

I only sometimes get the "ugh I still have so much fat" thing. I only sometimes get the "i'm scrawny and gangly" thing. Most of the time I'm happy with what I see, but it's like a friend is asking me what I think about her bod. "You look great!" is what I feel, not "I look great."

dirtyflirty30

Yes - this happened to me the first go round. I would literally not recognize my reflection/body size in like, store windows when I would go past. You're not alone in this, and it will get better!

csk0018

I've lost 77 pounds and I struggle everyday with seeing myself differently than the 273 pound girl I used to be. I do agree that pictures help tremendously. Congrats on your progress so far!!

SandyCoils

I remember the first time I lost weight back in 2010. I went to go buy jeans and went into the plus sized section and almost started crying because nothing on that side fit and I was afraid - literally afraid - to go into the "juniors" sizes. I had to call my BFF and have her to talk me off the ledge because I was about to have a panic attack. Shopping plus sizes was so comfortable and familiar. I couldn't imagine doing Juniors sizes - a size 11 from a size 26? It was too much to handle.

OP, it's going to be fine. You are doing a fantastic job and everything will catch up. A previous poster said to take lots of pics of yourself. I think that's a good idea. Try it. I'm wishing you well on this journey.

abbeyjones1994

britishbroccoli wrote: »

It'll be little things, like my reflection in glass, trying on an outfit that should be too small and it's too big, wearing too big clothing and layered big cardigans to recapture some of my older bulk so as to recognize myself.

I wonder if this is part of my problem...I haven't really gotten rid of any of my big girl clothes yet. I started at a size 10 in jeans, M/L in shirts, and am now down to size 6, S/M in shirts (and the 6's are starting to get baggy, hooray!). But I only have a few small shirts and size 6 jeans, mostly I'm still in the 10s and larges. The clothes are obviously big on me, but I wonder if my mind doesn't recognize the changes because I'm still technically wearing the same sizes I was 30 pounds ago?
I don't even know if that makes sense as I type it out. haha.

But I think the point is, it happens to just about everyone!

Sparkles_Chaos_n_Curves

I am going through the same things. I am down 80+ pounds at this point. I feel very strange when my 12 year old son hands me his hoodie, because I am cold, and it fits. I still want to go shopping at Lane Bryant, and blown away every time a regular size towel covers my body after a shower. Someone comes up and hugs me, and I can feel their hands wrapping to touch my ribs again.
I have become the selfie queen, not because I am vain, but simply I can not believe the lady who is looking back in them. I am just getting to a point in my journey, which is nearing completion of my first ultimate goal. This is the point when I can say I have made a big difference, and see it. I don't however, think I will ever lose the awe in being so much smaller, and I won't want to, as it will help me to keep it off.

ibamosaserreinas

Saucy_lil_Vixen wrote: »

I am going through the same things. I am down 80+ pounds at this point. I feel very strange when my 12 year old son hands me his hoodie, because I am cold, and it fits. I still want to go shopping at Lane Bryant, and blown away every time a regular size towel covers my body after a shower. Someone comes up and hugs me, and I can feel their hands wrapping to touch my ribs again.
I have become the selfie queen, not because I am vain, but simply I can not believe the lady who is looking back in them. I am just getting to a point in my journey, which is nearing completion of my first ultimate goal. This is the point when I can say I have made a big difference, and see it. I don't however, think I will ever lose the awe in being so much smaller, and I won't want to, as it will help me to keep it off.

I needed jeans and went by last week. NONE of them fit. I don't even know where to shop.

Liftng4Lis

WTG on 45 pounds. If you're like me, I realized, I had stopped looking in the mirror when I was heavier. You're perhaps seeing yourself after a long time?

JenniferInCt

Wow i cant even imagine. Ive only lost 15lbs so far with approx 60/75 to go and i was driving the other day and was like- whose bony hands are these?! But it was also a good feeling.
Geez i need friends like you all- congrats to everyone on all the success youve had! Be proud of yourselves! I hope to be seeing those results a year from now! And come on- ill shop at Lane Bryant enough for all of us! Go enjoy those regular sized clothes for all of us who cant!
- As a side note, i remember a friend of mine going to talk to a therapist/counselor after a huge weight loss because she was having a hard time with her image of what she looked like vs what she used to look like. I believe its quite common.