Sabotage

Nottafattie

The hubby and I both gained 25+ lbs of comfort weight. I got tired of it, stopped eating junk, started working out, and I'm down 16 lbs. I've got 9 lbs to goal and I'm super stoked about this. You would think that the hubby would be happy too, but I'm starting to think he's trying to sabotage my efforts instead.

It's nothing obvious, just minor things. He refused to help me clean up the home gym and won't help me find missing pieces so i can use it fully. Keeps trying to feed me junk food. Gets irritated when I point out why a particular food isn't in my plan or that I want to join a gym that's a block away. Got mad when I turned the heater on in the garage where my elliptical is, then got mad because I was upset about it. It's like 30 degrees in there right now, so I guess I'll bundle up and go for it anyway. I just refuse to be stopped this time.

I think he feels guilty because he needs to lose the weight too (taking a toll on his health) and he doesn't want to put in the hard work to do it. I think he's also afraid that if I get my sexy back, I will be putting it out there for all the other guys to see.

Honestly, I don't know what to think here. I wanted my sexy back for me, but for him too. I wanted him to look at me with pride, wanted him to want the other guys he's around to be envious of him. Maybe it's a silly reason to try so hard, but I think pride in your spouse is an important thing in a relationship.

So, I'm just wondering if I'm being paranoid or if anyone else has had problems on this journey similar to mine. Did your significant other join you and/or support you, or did they become another obstacle to overcome?

andreamaym

I think the best thing for you to do is to sit down and have an honest conversation with your husband. I sincerely hope he is not trying to sabbotage your efforts to lose weight and be healthier, but if he is, that is a huge red flag.

My boyfriend and I aren't always on the same page when it comes to eating healthy. He plays a lot of aports, so he isn't as concerned about what he eats as I am with what I eat. That being said, he always makes an effort to choose restaurants that have healthy alternatives for me, when I stay over he always lets me take over his basement for 30mins-an hour while I do my Jillian Michaels videos. In short, he is incredibly supportive. And I think your husband should be the same, no matter what HIS goals are.

sofaking6

There have been tons of threads just like this in the past, and with a couplefew exceptions where the partner was really being nasty, they have all come down to; You two need to talk it out.

PunyDaz

I started to get in shape for my future with girlfriend and she didn't support it really. 2 years on I'm about 80lbs of fat lost and gained some lean mass and I really think it's a main reason she left me a year ago. But I feel great. Look way better and am looking forward. Don't let anyone hold you back or drag you down

usmcmp

It isn't sabotage, it's poor communication.

Alatariel75

Weight loss aside, I'd be pretty narky if my husband was telling me when and where I could use a heater. I agree with the above that you guys need to talk this out.

DavPul

Just break up?

obscuremusicreference

Aside from the heater thing, it all comes down to this: YOU are embarking on a change, HE doesn't quite get why things need to change. Why do you need him to help you clean it up or find missing pieces?

As for the food thing: He has always offered you junk, and you have generally accepted, right? Again, you changed, he's fine with the status quo.

You need to have a non-defensive talk with him.