Going out to eat with friends (mental preparation)

faburizu

Hey guys.

I have a problem. My weight and pretty much all things fitness cause me a ton of anxiety. I made my roomie hide my scale so I couldn't find it and weigh myself obsessively through this journey.

Problem is, now a coworker invited me out to dinner. See, my problem is that I WANT to just eat "normally" and work out and not care about my weight but that is impossible for me. If I'm doing this Jillian Michael's program, I want to do it right and eat right especially so that I KNOW I'm not wasting this energy... does this make sense? So I'm aiming to consume 1350 a day which is even higher than she recommends (she recommends 1200 even with the exercise which imo seems unhealthy).

Unfortunately, doing this makes me realize how many calories are in EVERYTHING! (sigh) I always try to slightly overestimate my calorie count because I know that companies are allowed to overestimate by 20%, etc.

How can I MENTALLY prepare myself for going out to eat with friends? We're probably going to a greek restaurant. I know this is going to be a "cheat day" for me which is fine because everyone SHOULD have cheat days, I'm just so terrified because I don't want it to tempt me too much, or make me feel defeated and want to give up... somebody help!!

My_Butt

I found that when I tell my coworkers of my plans to lose weight or eat healthy, they're actually very supportive. Salads are tricky ones in restaurants. Check how the meat is prepared and what kind of dressing is being used. Greeks and Italians actually do have healthy foods to choose from, so no worries. If the planning seems too stressful, simply tell yourself 'it's a special occasion and its okay if I go over today.' Don't let a diet become too strict that it gets in the way of living your life. That's the key to maintaining a happy relationship with your new lifestyle change.

callsitlikeiseeit

heres the thing - if you let what you eat, totally consume your life, you will never be happy and successful (maybe one or the other, but not both). GO, enjoy, make the healthiest option you can. Eat half of it, save the other half for later. Maybe skip a meal, and get a little more exercise in.

One meal is not going to make or break your entire diet. and having a diet so strict you can't eat what you want (within reason and on special occasions) is not very sustainable.

Timorous_Beastie

I'm not sure if this would work for you, but it works for me when I'm feeling overly obsessive.

Do the math. Figure out what you'd really want to eat when you go out, and what that does to your calorie goal for the entire day. Then what it would do to your predicted weight loss goal.

Let's say you normally eat 1350 to lose one pound a week. That means you have a 500 calorie deficit. If your normal dinner is 600 calories, and you go out to eat and have a 1000 calorie dinner, then you'll have a 100 calorie deficit for that one day rather than a 500 calorie one. You're still going to lose weight. You might lose a few ounces less that week than you would otherwise.

Personally, I think having an enjoyable dinner out with friends is a lot more fun than losing an extra couple ounces.

LovingLife_Erin

I find that if I look up the menu ahead of time, then I can pick an option that I am happy with. Then I mentally prepare to order my choice so I won't be tempted to actually order something else. You could even look up/ figure out the calories in your choice and then plan the rest of your day so you can even stay within your calories. If you know ahead of time what your plan is, then that can help reduce any worries about eating out.

Otherwise, know the words to look for (good: grilled, bad: cream sauces, fried, etc.) and then pick something that is the best option. If you still want to order a "cheat" meal, then go for it! Just know that's your choice and that you can be OK with it.

ana3067

Look up nutritional info if available, pre-log those or close estimates of things you'd like to order, exercise a bit more or eat below your goal for a while to "save" extra calories, and just... eat. Being over your goal isn't the end of the world. And eating food you didn't make and log/weigh yourself is part of life, so you just need to do it and you'll eventually get used to not being perfect with logging all the time. Trust me, I've been there. Just do it.

Francl27

I agree with 'do the math'. Find out your TDEE (http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/). You'll see that at 1350 calories, you probably have a pretty big deficit, so even if you eat 3000 calories one day, it will take you maybe 3 days to make up for it... which really isn't a big deal at all when you think of it.

You can also have a light breakfast and lunch (well, it never works for me because I'm typically hungrier in the morning, but maybe it will for you) to leave you more calories for dinner. And the thing to keep in mind is that lower calorie food at restaurants is just as good as the fried/heavy sauce stuff, so you won't deprive yourself of anything if you just go for grilled kebabs and veggies (or Greek salad with dressing on the side). Unless you really crave something in particular... then just have it and go back on track the next day.

_FATNSASSY

Get the menu from the internet (and the nutritional information) and know what you are going to order (and what the calories are) in advance...

segacs

Just go, eat until you're at about the same feeling of fullness as you'd get at home, and then stop.

Dealing with real life without anxiety is a vital life skill.

gmallan

Lots of good choices at a Greek restaraunt. Go for a grilled meat skewer with greek salad (dressing on the side), Tzatziki and/or hummus and some pita bread if your calories allow for it. Alternatively they usually have a fish option.

healthygreek

I usually eat around 3-400 for breakfast and then exercise 5-700 calories worth. I either have a large lunch (during the week) or a large dinner (on week-ends). It works for me because:
1. I feel happiest eating a large meal and
2. I can usually stay within my calorie goal.

2 meals a day really works for me, maybe it will for you.

Dragn77

I agree with looking up the menu before you go so that you can carefully decide what you want to eat and do all your mental calculations without the pressure of being surrounded.

Also, even when not watching what I eat, I find that I actually eat less when Im out with friends, because Im busy yapping and having a good time...Im doing more socializing than eating, and end up not finishing, so I usually end up having whatever is left packed up to bring home for kiddo to have the rest of it.

LimitedBluEdition

My opinion is try not to be so hard on yourself, you're only human and if you don't make room for cheat days were gonna find you in a closet somewhere with a bag full of candy bars...lol...but seriously just cheat sensibly I tend to kind of look up the calories a head of time like one of the others mentioned, it really helps!! good luck with your goal!!

higgins8283801

You're not going to avoid going out with friends forever. Social relationships are important. This is for life and not a temporary thing, right?

Just tell yourself that one night of friendship over a yummy dinner will not hurt you. One day simply will not. Try and eat something sensable from their menu, and just have a good time.

If need be, you can readjust later on in the week, but honestly? Eating 1350 a day with exercise, I'm assuming you have such a deficit that adjusting the rest of your week will not be necessary.

Have fun!!

amadalia

kojiro44705 wrote: »

I found that when I tell my coworkers of my plans to lose weight or eat healthy, they're actually very supportive. Salads are tricky ones in restaurants. Check how the meat is prepared and what kind of dressing is being used. Greeks and Italians actually do have healthy foods to choose from, so no worries. If the planning seems too stressful, simply tell yourself 'it's a special occasion and its okay if I go over today.' Don't let a diet become too strict that it gets in the way of living your life. That's the key to maintaining a happy relationship with your new lifestyle change.

I really needed to read that today. Thank you. I'm stressing out over a meal out with friends tonight.

faburizu

Thank you everyone so much!! I'm going out tomorrow; I've had a look at the menu and I'm going to try and not stress about it!

Sandcastles61

We're going out Saturday night for my son's birthday.... And of course he chose Italian. Pasta and garlic breadsticks, yum Except they are my biggest culprits. I went online and chose two dinner options (so I can choose the one I feel like eating that night, but both comparable on the cal / macro front) that fit my calorie bank. I prelogged it including a yummy breadstick and a glass of wine...... So I'm just kinda working it all in over the course of a couple of days and no one at the table even needs to know I ultimately go with trying to balance things every day, but focus more on keeping my weekly limits in line.. Have fun!