dealing with frenemies

peopletalk

you know, like betty and veronica.

i had a friend who was tall, skinny and beautiful but very shallow.
she constantly made remarks about my weight. every time she went out, she would say things like "i'm the hottest one in this club" and if i liked a guy, she would make it her mission to hook up with said boy. she would ditch me at the drop of a hat for a boy.

now, the reason i didn't leave earlier is i've been friends with her for 12 years. since we were very young.

new years was a breaking point for me when she dragged me out to a club, and at count down i was all alone and she left to go somewhere to be with a boy.

anyway, i completely cut her out, and i haven't seen/talked to her for almost 2 years now.

she asked me to catch up with her this weekend.

what would you do? how would you deal with these situations? and have you ever had a friend like this?
i'm thinking i'll give it a chance, and see what happens. i just wanna hear some stories from other people about this.

cmriverside

Once I break up, I stay broken up. Unless she began her invitation with, "Listen, I miss you and I've really changed."

redhead1910

If you want to catch up with her keep it casual. She can earn yuor trust before you go out with her again. 2 years is a long time. Who knows? She may have changed for the better.

peopletalk

Once I break up, I stay broken up. Unless she began her invitation with, "Listen, I miss you and I've really changed."

she basically said "i had a dream about you last night and i would really like to see you"

peopletalk

If you want to catch up with her keep it casual. She can earn yuor trust before you go out with her again. 2 years is a long time. Who knows? She may have changed for the better.

yeah, i'm thinking i'll keep it casual. just a quick catch up. i'll scope it out and see if i can find a difference.

bloominheck

you know, like betty and veronica.

i had a friend who was tall, skinny and beautiful but very shallow.
she constantly made remarks about my weight. every time she went out, she would say things like "i'm the hottest one in this club" and if i liked a guy, she would make it her mission to hook up with said boy. she would ditch me at the drop of a hat for a boy.

now, the reason i didn't leave earlier is i've been friends with her for 12 years. since we were very young.

new years was a breaking point for me when she dragged me out to a club, and at count down i was all alone and she left to go somewhere to be with a boy.

anyway, i completely cut her out, and i haven't seen/talked to her for almost 2 years now.

she asked me to catch up with her this weekend.

what would you do? how would you deal with these situations? and have you ever had a friend like this?
i'm thinking i'll give it a chance, and see what happens. i just wanna hear some stories from other people about this.

Geez, I said I was sorry.....:sad:

kimmie185

she basically said "i had a dream about you last night and i would really like to see you"

Any conversation that starts with "I had a dream about you" would instantly freak me out.

12 years is a long time for a friendship. It probably wouldn't hurt to just do a "catch up" lunch or something.

Gizziemoto

I had a person like that. Done means done to me. I have no desire to be with a self-absorbed person who is only a "friend" until something else comes along. Keep moving on with your life and leave the baggage behind. Yes, we did try to patch up once and she had not changed one bit and last I heard, still had not. Knew each other since the 80's.

cmriverside

Once I break up, I stay broken up. Unless she began her invitation with, "Listen, I miss you and I've really changed."

she basically said "i had a dream about you last night and i would really like to see you"

O.o

likearadiowave

you know, like betty and veronica.

i had a friend who was tall, skinny and beautiful but very shallow.
she constantly made remarks about my weight. every time she went out, she would say things like "i'm the hottest one in this club" and if i liked a guy, she would make it her mission to hook up with said boy. she would ditch me at the drop of a hat for a boy.

now, the reason i didn't leave earlier is i've been friends with her for 12 years. since we were very young.

new years was a breaking point for me when she dragged me out to a club, and at count down i was all alone and she left to go somewhere to be with a boy.

anyway, i completely cut her out, and i haven't seen/talked to her for almost 2 years now.

she asked me to catch up with her this weekend.

what would you do? how would you deal with these situations? and have you ever had a friend like this?
i'm thinking i'll give it a chance, and see what happens. i just wanna hear some stories from other people about this.

wouldn't call her a frenemy. That's being too generous. She's no friend; she's clearly an insecure, cruel viper who just wants you there to make herself feel better about herself. She doesn't seem to care about you at all.

Those kinds of people only ask you for favors when they want something. Forget her.

peopletalk

you know, like betty and veronica.

i had a friend who was tall, skinny and beautiful but very shallow.
she constantly made remarks about my weight. every time she went out, she would say things like "i'm the hottest one in this club" and if i liked a guy, she would make it her mission to hook up with said boy. she would ditch me at the drop of a hat for a boy.

now, the reason i didn't leave earlier is i've been friends with her for 12 years. since we were very young.

new years was a breaking point for me when she dragged me out to a club, and at count down i was all alone and she left to go somewhere to be with a boy.

anyway, i completely cut her out, and i haven't seen/talked to her for almost 2 years now.

she asked me to catch up with her this weekend.

what would you do? how would you deal with these situations? and have you ever had a friend like this?
i'm thinking i'll give it a chance, and see what happens. i just wanna hear some stories from other people about this.

Geez, I said I was sorry.....:sad:

GET YOUR **** TOGETHER!




:flowerforyou:

peopletalk

she basically said "i had a dream about you last night and i would really like to see you"

Any conversation that starts with "I had a dream about you" would instantly freak me out.

12 years is a long time for a friendship. It probably wouldn't hurt to just do a "catch up" lunch or something.

LOL
i have lots of dreams about her. but i've never told her. it's mainly dreams of her trying to be my friend again and me trying to politely get out of it XD

peopletalk

I had a person like that. Done means done to me. I have no desire to be with a self-absorbed person who is only a "friend" until something else comes along. Keep moving on with your life and leave the baggage behind. Yes, we did try to patch up once and she had not changed one bit and last I heard, still had not. Knew each other since the 80's.

wow, that's pretty insane.
yeah, i felt a lot of resentment toward her. like i would get angry at the thought of her. she would always call me her "soul mate" but i felt more like i was being used until something better came around.
we were inseparable. i was always with her for those 12 years. but it wore down my confidence. when i lost weight in grade 11, like 60lbs, she NEVER once said anything about it. never once did she compliment me.

i feel like this meeting might be closure, because i've been wondering a lot about her lately.

karenertl

If it were me, I probably wouldn't want to try to be her friend again. It's a shame people like that have to put down others like that in order to boost their own self image. If you want to be nice, you can hear her out to try to see if she's legitimately sorry and has changed but I'd be surprised if she did.

mockchoc

I wouldn't be friends with her. She's the sort of girl that'd try to steal you husband one day too. Not worth it.

LonLB

Some people are just lame. Why have them as a friend? Even facebook and MFP friends can be pretty lame sometimes.....

slkehl

Keeping it casual seems fine and a natural thing to do when it has been so long. However, I wouldn't start hanging out with her regularly again. Which you don't seem to intend to do anyway.

simplyciera

Ehhh I say be mature. If you FEEL like hanging out, then hang out, but don't let her dominate. If she's trying to put you down so that she feels better about herself by saying she's hotter be like 'pshhhh I'm hot as fxck. idk what you'reeee talking about." Cause you are.

Be friends with people that love you; not people that use you.
But hey, she could've changed. We change a lot when we're young.

craigmandu

Well, you could say "Sure, meet me for lunch here"...then give her a text 10 mins after you are suppose to be there and say "So sorry, something came up".

helpfit101

Hi I would just like to say in her defense.. maybe she's like a guy. Maybe she likes competition. Maybe she didn't realize she could have said good things about you. Maybe she thought you were buds and no questions asked nothing required.

Guys can be like that sometimes. That is what it seems like to me. That she was with you because she wanted to be and didn't realize she had to give you anything in return like compliments or even common courtesy, just because you were friends. People like that can be hard to be friends with. I am just saying she might not have been doing any of it on purpose. Maybe she is just like that and doesn't realize people don't always appreciate it. So you could decide whether you are ok with it for an occasional day / evening out and that's it.

peopletalk

Hi I would just like to say in her defense.. maybe she's like a guy. Maybe she likes competition. Maybe she didn't realize she could have said good things about you. Maybe she thought you were buds and no questions asked nothing required.

Guys can be like that sometimes. That is what it seems like to me. That she was with you because she wanted to be and didn't realize she had to give you anything in return like compliments or even common courtesy, just because you were friends. People like that can be hard to be friends with. I am just saying she might not have been doing any of it on purpose. Maybe she is just like that and doesn't realize people don't always appreciate it. So you could decide whether you are ok with it for an occasional day / evening out and that's it.

i knew she wasn't aware of it. that's what bugged me.
she always thought she did no harm, but the minute i offended her a little, i never heard the end of it. every time we got in arguments, no matter when or how i said sorry, she never said sorry. she never thought that she insulted me once. that i was only to blame.
and she wouldn't accept my apology until she was ready to be my friend again. (which would be months) then she'd be like "hey whats up?" and i would accept her back in like nothing happened. i am way too loyal.

that was the problem. she was completely oblivious for 12 years of how she hurt me.

on new years i cried and told her i wanted a break from the friendship and she said "i will do everything in my power to fix this friendship" (but she really didn't, which is why we haven't talked in 2 years)

i truly believe she was ignorant and oblivious to the pain she caused me, and i truly think she loved me... to an extent.