I think I need a pep talk.
didda1
Posts: 71 Member
I'm ready to give up. I've been doing this for 6 weeks now, and have lost my goal of 1/2 a lb a week, (only 77 lbs to go!) but I am beginning to HATE food.
I look at anything, anything at all, and just seethe. I've yelled at food. I HAVE TO WEIGH YOU.
Over the last 3 days, I have been unable to eat just about anything, because the anger I feel towards the food scale, and the food that is on it. I just get really grumpy and walk away.
My husband offered me some fudge last night, my all time favourite occasional treat, and I told him 'no, I'd have to weigh it so I know exactly how many calories it has'.
Weighing my food has been the ONLY method that I have tried that has actually worked.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to want to eat again? I am honestly ready to just quit, and reclaim my love of food (all of it, I hate vegetables right now too), and stop this anger train. Right now losing weight does not seem worth it.
I look at anything, anything at all, and just seethe. I've yelled at food. I HAVE TO WEIGH YOU.
Over the last 3 days, I have been unable to eat just about anything, because the anger I feel towards the food scale, and the food that is on it. I just get really grumpy and walk away.
My husband offered me some fudge last night, my all time favourite occasional treat, and I told him 'no, I'd have to weigh it so I know exactly how many calories it has'.
Weighing my food has been the ONLY method that I have tried that has actually worked.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to want to eat again? I am honestly ready to just quit, and reclaim my love of food (all of it, I hate vegetables right now too), and stop this anger train. Right now losing weight does not seem worth it.
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Tracking period means knowing how many calories are in your servings. This is not something you can blame on weighing your food.
I'm guessing you are not emotionally/mentally prepared for weight loss if you're going to put the blame on how you feel on your food scale. That'd be like getting angry at the bathroom scale for showing you've only lost 0.5lbs when you should have lost 2lbs.0 -
I agree with ana--it sounds to me like you have decided you "have to" lose weight but don't really want to, and are concentrating your rage to sabotage the one thing that is finally working.
"Loving food" does not mean shoveling all of it down with complete abandon. IMHO, nurturing a love of food means finding ways to incorporate it into our lives. Knowing how much we're eating--which is all a food scale does, in the end--is a key part of that. You're seeing it as a restriction and a prison; I see the measurements as a freedom and an invitation to include that much of this kind of yumminess in my diet for the day.
You might have good luck with food prepping ahead of time: measuring out and preparing all the ingredients for your meals on one day so you know how much is in them, then freezing or fridging the components until it's time to cook. That way, you still know how much you're eating, but there's some distance between your food and the food scale. You could also have your husband do the weighing for you.
But the scale is just a proxy, so you should also ask yourself whether you really want to lose weight.0 -
Yup, food scale lets me see if I can fit that muffin or brownie in my day in the serving I want, and if not it helps me figure out how much I CAN eat for it to fit and whether it's worth it (if it isn't then it will be on my log the next day!)cheshirecatastrophe wrote: »I agree with ana--it sounds to me like you have decided you "have to" lose weight but don't really want to, and are concentrating your rage to sabotage the one thing that is finally working.
"Loving food" does not mean shoveling all of it down with complete abandon. IMHO, nurturing a love of food means finding ways to incorporate it into our lives. Knowing how much we're eating--which is all a food scale does, in the end--is a key part of that. You're seeing it as a restriction and a prison; I see the measurements as a freedom and an invitation to include that much of this kind of yumminess in my diet for the day.
You might have good luck with food prepping ahead of time: measuring out and preparing all the ingredients for your meals on one day so you know how much is in them, then freezing or fridging the components until it's time to cook. That way, you still know how much you're eating, but there's some distance between your food and the food scale. You could also have your husband do the weighing for you.
But the scale is just a proxy, so you should also ask yourself whether you really want to lose weight.
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In the beginning that's just the way it is, until you get fast at it and it's just a habit like any other. Nobody can make you do this---if you hate it don't do it. What's the alternative? Talk to a dietician and they will tell you what you can eat everyday. You do that and lose weight. Most people gain it back after. Why? Because you really don't know how many calories are in that brownie, or hamburger, or baked potato, etc. Once you know, and start fitting it all together to stay within your calorie goal---you have the power to choose what and how much of it to eat. You will learn that movement and exercise is your friend, and you can eat more on the days you move more. I really hope you will rethink your position, and come to realize that it liberates you if you handle it right. If not, wishing you all the best.
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By the way--love your cat!0
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Right now losing weight does not seem worth it.
If that's how you feel, stop.
It's never going to be easy, but if you're really that miserable, it's probably a sign you're not ready to commit to this yet. Rather than torture yourself, just be more accepting of who you are.
When the time comes, you'll know.
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What if you just weigh your basic foods in portions like 1 cup, 1 slice, whatever, and count the calories for those basic portions once and for all.
Then all you need to do is serve yourself not more than 1 cup of this and 1 slice of that, etc...?
Maybe you need to find your personal motivation to do this.
We often have external motivators...like our boss at work...or in the case of losing weight, it could be your doctor or your spouse pressuring you to go on a diet. But that kind of motivation does not work on the long term.
What we need are internal motivators.
We need to ask ourselves, WHY do I want to do this, WHY is it important for me, what is at stake if I don't follow through.
Many of these motivators are intellectual, but it works better if you can find an emotional motivator.
Saying to myself "I want to lose 20 pounds so I can feel proud" will work better than "I want to lose 20 pounds so I can be healthier".
Writing down our personal motivators can help us push through when we have our down times (there always are ups and downs !).
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Mark a date on your calendar for six weeks from now. If you still have the anger, then stop.
In the meantime, ask your husband to be more helpful by not offering fudge.0 -
Mark a date on your calendar for six weeks from now. If you still have the anger, then stop.
In the meantime, ask your husband to be more helpful by not offering fudge.
I don't think the fudge is her problem. If my non-existent significant other offered ME fudge right now, I'd totally say yes.0 -
You need to find a way to change your attitude. The scale is not the enemy, the high calorie food is. All the scale is doing is telling you that that high calorie food is going to put you over the limit. Make better choices that let you eat foods that taste good but fit your goals. Strawberries, blueberries, yummy greek yogurt, a Kozy Shack rice pudding for a dessert... substitute 2 squares of high quality dark chocolate for that king sized chocolate bar...
The more good food you can eat, the less you will resent the 'diet'. After all, you want to maintain this weight loss the rest of your life, right? So it needs to be a lifestyle change, not a quick fix.0 -
Mark a date on your calendar for six weeks from now. If you still have the anger, then stop.
In the meantime, ask your husband to be more helpful by not offering fudge.
I don't think the fudge is her problem. If my non-existent significant other offered ME fudge right now, I'd totally say yes.
I agree, and I would just eat less, but still eat some, and make it work in my calorie limit.0 -
You could ask the hubby to weigh the fudge for you? Mine weighs and measures things for me, if I ask. I have to accept that his measurements may be a little less accurate than I'd like - he used the 1 oz. shot glass measuring cup to portion 5 oz. of wine for me, the other night - but it's better than the completely random "1 glass" measurement I'd be guessing about, otherwise.0
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blankiefinder wrote: »Mark a date on your calendar for six weeks from now. If you still have the anger, then stop.
In the meantime, ask your husband to be more helpful by not offering fudge.
I don't think the fudge is her problem. If my non-existent significant other offered ME fudge right now, I'd totally say yes.
I agree, and I would just eat less, but still eat some, and make it work in my calorie limit.
Yup. This goes for any food - I have to do this with pomegranates and grapes and other calorie-dense fruit.
But I also say the fudge isn't her problem ebcause OP also said she is developing a poor relationship with ALL food. Including the "good" food. So that is clearly a red flag right there.0 -
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Can you walk us through your process for using the food scale like if you want an afternoon snack, or if you are preparing dinner?0
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I think you will be very sad when your ticker starts going in the other direction all because you gave in to a childish impulse to throw a tantrum.
Your scale and food is not to blame for anything. The only agent is you. Suck it up and be a grown up. Temper tantrums are unbecoming.0 -
Lourdesong wrote: »I think you will be very sad when your ticker starts going in the other direction all because you gave in to a childish impulse to throw a tantrum.
Your scale and food is not to blame for anything. The only agent is you. Suck it up and be a grown up. Temper tantrums are unbecoming.
Harsh but true...
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I think my main issue is I have to weigh *everything* to know what's actually in it, as I can't afford pre-made anything. I have to make every single thing from scratch, and weighing it all is just wearing me down. I don't get to say oh hey, I want a muffin, I have to MAKE that muffin. It's so time consuming, and frustrating lol.
I'm not doing this for vanity, I'm doing it for health. I'm surprisingly happy with how I look, I just need to lose weight for myself.
Also- I totally forgot to put this- I'm on prednisone. I KNOW my anger is coming from there, this is so 100% not like me.
Honestly, would taking a few days off be a good thing?
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christinev297 wrote: »Lourdesong wrote: »I think you will be very sad when your ticker starts going in the other direction all because you gave in to a childish impulse to throw a tantrum.
Your scale and food is not to blame for anything. The only agent is you. Suck it up and be a grown up. Temper tantrums are unbecoming.
Harsh but true...
Is it? People all over the world lose weight with or without a scale. Maybe it's for the OP, maybe it's not. I don't see the need to insult her, personally
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Meh, it's ok Janei I take part in online political debates, nothing anyone can say actually gets to me anymore lol. 0
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I think my main issue is I have to weigh *everything* to know what's actually in it, as I can't afford pre-made anything. I have to make every single thing from scratch, and weighing it all is just wearing me down. I don't get to say oh hey, I want a muffin, I have to MAKE that muffin. It's so time consuming, and frustrating lol.
I'm not doing this for vanity, I'm doing it for health. I'm surprisingly happy with how I look, I just need to lose weight for myself.
Also- I totally forgot to put this- I'm on prednisone. I KNOW my anger is coming from there, this is so 100% not like me.
Honestly, would taking a few days off be a good thing?
Nothing wrong with a mental health break
If the muffin came from a package, does it have calorie information on it? If you really want to, you can weigh the muffin and just log based on what's on the package. Worst case scenario you can use an entry from the database and overestimate (based on your experience) but I'm guessing you want to be more accurate. If you or someone else is buying a muffin, maybe lean towards buying the ones with calorie information on the package, since some of them don't have it. If someone gave you the muffin could ask for their recipe LOL. So many options with different levels of feasibility, that I think you could work something out??
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I have tried just portion control, I have tried eliminating foods, etc, etc. The ONLY thing that has ever moved my scale has been weighing. I'm just feeling defeated by my food right now. It would be such a nice treat if I could just grab a pre-made anything, and know what the calories are in it.
Venting really did help.0 -
I think my main issue is I have to weigh *everything* to know what's actually in it, as I can't afford pre-made anything. I have to make every single thing from scratch, and weighing it all is just wearing me down. I don't get to say oh hey, I want a muffin, I have to MAKE that muffin. It's so time consuming, and frustrating lol.
I'm not doing this for vanity, I'm doing it for health. I'm surprisingly happy with how I look, I just need to lose weight for myself.
Also- I totally forgot to put this- I'm on prednisone. I KNOW my anger is coming from there, this is so 100% not like me.
Honestly, would taking a few days off be a good thing?
I'm sure you can afford to buy things like muffins on occasion. Making something from scratch is also pretty easy... just find recipes you like, jot down the weight of the ingredients (and measurement for liquids), create/edit the recipe on MFP while it's baking, and then figure out how much you can eat for your day's needs. If you make a dozen muffins then you can have one a day for half a month, or you can have one and freeze the rest, taking one out whenever you feel like eating a muffin.
IMO you've been at this for only a month. If you're already getting this upset and frustrated then you are probably not ready to make this lifestyle change. That or you are being too strict/regimented with your approach. either way I do still think that ultimately you're not ready to embark on a weight loss journey. Unless your health motivator is "I about about to die any minute because of my weight" then it might just not be motivating enough. I have very specific body composition (i.e. vanity) goals, as well as strength goals, both of which have made me stick to logging without any skipped days, and I haven't really had any frustration like this. I got to the point where I was ready to do what was necessary to make a proper lifestyle change and one that would be sustainable for me long-term.
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You asked for a pep talk, well, here's my attempt. You CAN do this! Awesome on you that you didn't just shovel that fudge in without another thought! Weighing is extra work, but think about how powerful you are when you make the choice to do it.
Don't quit. It is okay to feel frustrated. As a teacher, I can tell you that some of the most important breakthroughs happen at that moment when a student is almost ready to give up. Look at this as a chance to win. Have some fudge if it fits into your calorie budget. If it doesn't today, weigh an appropriate serving and save it for tomorrow and make room for it IF you still want it.
I will say that last year I lost weight weighing my food. I quit and gained some back. I rejoined MFP and have been excercising, have lost some weight,gotten fitter, but haven't been seeing the scales move down. Today is my first day weighing everything I ate again. So, in my book, you are a WINNER for weighing your food.
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I eat nothing from a package. I can't afford it. Life would be EASY if I could just go with package information.
I made scalloped potatoes last night, from scratch. I weighed the potatoes, the flour, the milk, the onion. I didn't weigh the pepper, I'm doing this all the way, but I'm not crazy lol.
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christinev297 wrote: »Lourdesong wrote: »I think you will be very sad when your ticker starts going in the other direction all because you gave in to a childish impulse to throw a tantrum.
Your scale and food is not to blame for anything. The only agent is you. Suck it up and be a grown up. Temper tantrums are unbecoming.
Harsh but true...
Is it? People all over the world lose weight with or without a scale. Maybe it's for the OP, maybe it's not. I don't see the need to insult her, personally
And OP said she was getting angry from weighing her food because it means knowing how many calories she will be eating.... and yet even if she doesn't weigh her food, she will still be aware of her calories if she uses an app like MFP. To place the blame on the food scale isn't going to be of any help for long-term success. Either OP needs to not try to lose weight rihgt now or she simply needs to do an approach that involves absolutely no true control and knowledge/insight on her part, e.g. restricting food choices, eating only "clean," eating on tiny baby plates, etc. These methods won't really teach her how to go about eating reasonably in a variety of situations that fall outside of her chosen method in the way tracking calories would, but it would enable her to be oblivious to her intake. And of course there'd be no weight loss guarantees. She might then have to also do a butt-load of cardio to ensure she is creating a deficit.0 -
LOL Janei!
Honestly, I think I just needed to have a moment.
I have lost weight on this, so it's working, I AM going to stick to it, and it is going to work. I do think it's the pred- I got angry at the tv last night too.
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I eat nothing from a package. I can't afford it. Life would be EASY if I could just go with package information.
I made scalloped potatoes last night, from scratch. I weighed the potatoes, the flour, the milk, the onion. I didn't weigh the pepper, I'm doing this all the way, but I'm not crazy lol.
Milk is a freely pouring liquid - you should indeed use measuring cups/spoons for that. Would it be easier? Are you using the MFP recipe function to log these weights for your recipe? Do you write the weights down on a piece of paper and sort them out later? Do you use the app for scanning barcodes? Just curious about the details of your process. Do you use your scale's "Tare" button a lot to zero out the weight of anything on it, including a container with another ingredient already in it?
Sorry to harp on the muffin - where did it come from? Did you make it?
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I eat nothing from a package. I can't afford it. Life would be EASY if I could just go with package information.
I made scalloped potatoes last night, from scratch. I weighed the potatoes, the flour, the milk, the onion. I didn't weigh the pepper, I'm doing this all the way, but I'm not crazy lol.
yes for me making EVERYTHING from scratch and weighing each individual ingredient would be a pain. But if doing this has enabled you to lose weight then you're on the right track.
Hopefully you won't have to weigh everything forever. When you reach your goal weight you may be able to relax a bit, maybe....
just focus on getting to where you want to be, then you can re evaluate xx
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