Moderation, A Love Story

TheVirgoddess

There seems to be a lot of confusion around the topic of moderation. So I thought I'd clear things up, as far as I view and interpret moderation and maybe the misconceptions can stop.

First, what moderation isn't:

It's not eating cheeseburgers all day.
It's not eating donuts, pizza, fries, ice cream, chocolate, cake or candy all day, either.

Eating a lot of one thing - it's the opposite of moderation. So can we all agree to drop that particular argument? Yes? Great!!

Now, moving on.

What moderation is:

Moderation is approaching your day with the following goals in mind: your macro-nutrient goals (carbs, protein, fats), your micro-nutrient goals (vitamins, minerals) and your sanity/happiness/zen/satisfaction/mental health/insert word here.

What I (we?) do is find food that I (we) enjoy eating, that meet these goals. We fill our day(s) with them. Lean proteins, pizza, vegetables, ice cream, fruits, bacon, whole grains - whatever fills the roles of both nutrition and satisfaction. Because macro/micro nutrients and satisfaction are what every body needs, and as long as we're meeting those needs, we're good.

Let's also all agree that everyone knows it's important to eat nutritious food and properly fuel our bodies. Yes? Great!

If we reach our goals and have a bit extra, I/we can "spend" those calories on whatever we want - because our nutrition goals have successfully been met and at this point in our day, there's nothing wrong with some extra ice cream, or a piece of cake or a brownie (edge, of course). We've given our body what it needs, and we won't get extra "awesome" points if we choose a carrot over some chips, if that is our preference.

TL;DR: Moderation is avoiding an excess or extreme. It's eating by putting nutrition first, but happiness and satisfaction a close second. It's not restricting your food intake because rationally we know that juggling our calories so we can eat chili cheese tater tots once a month is not going to undo all the other days before them, or the ones after.

ana3067

TBH I put happiness and satisfaction first. Which is why I've had brownies and chocolate and muffins with/for breakfast lol. Sometimes I eat excessively "bad" for a few days in a row, and then after that I turn gears because I start feeling a bit meh from eating so much of the high-fat high-sugar stuff. None of this is consciously thought out outside of choosing my protein sources and staying within my caloric needs. I just eat based on what I am craving and on how much time I have to make food.

Me eating based on happiness and satisfaction while staying within my protein and calorie goals is what helps me eat a variety of food. I logged my piece of chocolate and sugary cereal today before I logged everything in my 4th meal, and based the weight of things in my 4th meal on how much protein I had left to meet. I logged 2 pieces of chocolate and some nutella and chocolate PB yesterday for breakfast before logging anything else. I ate a lot of convenience stuff yesterday, just focused on hitting my macro and calorie goal (I didn't feel like eating more protein yesterday since I had already surpassed my weekly goal with just 100g of protein). I still had roughly 5 servings of veggies and fruit each though.

So yeah, I don't eat cheeseburgers etc all day! But sometimes I eat practically just that. Other times I eat practically just protein and fruit/veggies. My tummy has become pretty good at figuring out when I've had too much and then the food no longer becomes appealing to me for a while. I do not at all track micronutrients, no vitamins etc, other than fiber and sodium. Even sodium is something I just track in passing and mostly am using it now to be able to see if I'm bloated due to high sodium and low water intake. I really am not the moderation-type who meets macro/micro goals first and THEN eats a treat, I will easily eat brownies first thing in the morning and continue choosing foods to fit the rest of my caloric/macro needs that allow me to not get nauseous from too much sugar (my tolerance has gone down since I started practicing moderation, because I no longer binge on stuff every week ahha) and that will allow me to feel satiated throughout the day. As much as eating a brownie for breakfast can be awesome, it's not something I'll do the rest of the day because I will be too hungry and sick and won't meet my protein needs.

Liftng4Lis

You lost me at donuts, cuz I remembered I had one on the microwave

atypicalsmith

Moderation is simply eating the foods you love as long as they fit within your calorie budget. The more you exercise, the more you can eat. Simple as that.

Cortneyrenee04

Moderation is such a simple concept, but can be hard to learn. I'm trying so hard and slowly getting there!

Moderation has also really taught me to only eat foods I love and nothing I don't enjoy (just because it's there).

DeWoSa

^^^ Hee hee donut.

Good post, Virg.

I eat whatever I want, within my calorie goals. Because I like a variety of foods, I am usually also on point with my macros, but not all the time. I don't sweat it. Yesterday I had pizza, apple stromboli, chicken pot pie, and blueberry pie, in addition to a bunch of other food, and I was at maintenance and close to my macros.

I had eliminated all dessert foods from my diet for 10 years because I would binge eat on them, but since December 2014, I am experimenting with added sugar, to see if I still have the same problems with it I had 10 years ago. So far, just fine. I do see two changes -- the more added sugar I eat, the more I think about it (psychological), and when I eat added sugar foods around my TOM, I have noticeably worse PMS (physical). But it's not triggering the emotional binge eating that it triggered 10 years ago.

About four months ago, someone here on MFP suggested that I eat more fat in my diet, and I want to thank that person from the depth of my heart. Eating full fat yogurt, drinking whole milk in my lattes, putting a tablespoon of butter on my vegetables -- I can FEEL the difference. The food is tastier, I am fuller, and I'm more satisfied. Thank you person who suggested that!

I don't know if I'm doing moderation, but I'm doing what makes me feel full and satisfied, and I'm losing weight.

TLDR: thanks for the great post, Virg, and here's what I consider moderation for me -- staying within my calories or at maintenance for the day.

gothchiq

For Jane and Joe Normal Healthy Person, this'll probably work. Here's the sticking point.... the possibility that if you restrict, you *will* end up bingeing. This makes it a catch 22 for people with medical conditions whose doctors have ordered them to restrict and to cut out sweets and carby snacks entirely. Diabetes is fairly prevalent; I know I'm not alone in this struggle. Neither eating those indulgence foods *nor* caving in and bingeing is an option unless we want to further damage our bodies. The doctor is like "well this is your life now, suck it up and get used to it because there's just no choice any more" and as harsh as it is, I understand why she puts it like this. I've got to believe that people on medically restricted diets aren't just doomed to failure or flat out insanity.

weatherlover1

This is a good post. I would rather lose weight slower and enjoy a piece of cake then lose tons of weight and then backslide because I tried and failed to not eat foods I love and at times crave. There is nothing more depressing than being hungry and not being able to eat something that fills you up. I am learning what foods I can eat more of and be full yet not take 60% of my daily calories in one sitting. A huge salad with some protein and lots of veggies will hold me for hours where a sandwich not so much. Or a 3 egg omelette in the morning loaded with veggies does way more then 2 eggs and toast. Its a learning game which is also why weight loss and being healthy is a lifelong change and why moderation is so important!

ana3067

gothchiq wrote: »

For Jane and Joe Normal Healthy Person, this'll probably work. Here's the sticking point.... the possibility that if you restrict, you *will* end up bingeing. This makes it a catch 22 for people with medical conditions whose doctors have ordered them to restrict and to cut out sweets and carby snacks entirely. Diabetes is fairly prevalent; I know I'm not alone in this struggle. Neither eating those indulgence foods *nor* caving in and bingeing is an option unless we want to further damage our bodies. The doctor is like "well this is your life now, suck it up and get used to it because there's just no choice any more" and as harsh as it is, I understand why she puts it like this. I've got to believe that people on medically restricted diets aren't just doomed to failure or flat out insanity.

My grandmother is diabetic and still eats sweets on occasion, or sugar-free versions. And there are some vocal diabetics here who have shared that the only restriction is to eat below, say, 150g of carbs a day. Which is still pretty reasonable.

I do not eat gluten because it causes serious digestive upset. So I eat the Gf alternatives instead. If I were diabetic, I'd eat the alternatives that work for my dietary needs.

TheVirgoddess

gothchiq wrote: »

For Jane and Joe Normal Healthy Person, this'll probably work. Here's the sticking point.... the possibility that if you restrict, you *will* end up bingeing. This makes it a catch 22 for people with medical conditions whose doctors have ordered them to restrict and to cut out sweets and carby snacks entirely. Diabetes is fairly prevalent; I know I'm not alone in this struggle. Neither eating those indulgence foods *nor* caving in and bingeing is an option unless we want to further damage our bodies. The doctor is like "well this is your life now, suck it up and get used to it because there's just no choice any more" and as harsh as it is, I understand why she puts it like this. I've got to believe that people on medically restricted diets aren't just doomed to failure or flat out insanity.

I was insulin resistant through most of my weight loss (I've successfully reversed it, thankfully), but the above still applies(d). I just ate less carbs.

Of course a medically supervised or recommended diet should trump anything else. I guess I assumed that went without saying.

I don't think restriction automatically leads to binging (though I do think there are links for a lot of people) and I do think you can succeed.

I'm not trying to promote moderation, but rather explain it.

arditarose

Yay! So right. Once you learn you don't get extra credit for those macros and micros after you hit your goals, you're golden. And when you learn how to meet those goals eating things you love, you're really set.

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt

Bump!

kk_inprogress

Cheeseburger? Where?!

BWBTrish

Great post love it!

TheVirgoddess

Of course you bump this the night I just scarfed down ramen for dinner

Alatariel75

Awesome post and so true!

kk_inprogress

TheVirgoddess wrote: »

Of course you bump this the night I just scarfed down ramen for dinner

That's what friends are for. Great post, I'm glad she revived it.

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt

TheVirgoddess wrote: »

Of course you bump this the night I just scarfed down ramen for dinner

Nothing wrong with ramen in moderation!

middlehaitch

A good synopsis of your view of moderation virgoddess, that most people can take and tweak to their needs.

As I think, everything in moderation. Including moderation.

That way I can sit in the garden and have a romantic evening with a bottle of sparking wine, baked Brie, olives, crackers, humus, and chocolate trifle, thinking moderation has taken the night off.

Cheers, h.

Unknown

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Kalikel

That's one way of moderating, though. Other people have different definitions. Some have a treat a week. Some have a cheat day a month. Some eat whatever is tastiest, but in small amounts. Etc.

It's like eating "clean" - everyone has their own take on it.

I have no problem with - and don't even care, really - what someone else eats. I don't even care if people do eat only take out and Twinkies. I have known and loved these people. It's their choice. It's what they like. Everyone is entitled to eat what they want and what someone eats doesn't make them better or worse, smarter or dumber, etc.

But when people say "clean" or "in moderation", there is no way to know what, exactly, they mean, because everyone does those things differently.

I'm pretty confident that most people are not planning out micros, tracking them, meeting their micro goals for a day and then deciding to have a cupcake. I'm not suggesting they should! I just don't think that most people are doing that.

I also think that 9 times out of 10, people are arguing over the words, because the "clean" group and the "in moderation" group are very often doing exactly the same thing. They just choose to use different words and then get all ticked off because someone else isn't using the word they think that person should use. It took me a while to notice that, but it think it's true. Maybe I'm wrong.

"I eat mostly clean" and "I eat treats in moderation" - the food diaries will likely be very similar.

Unknown

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Sued0nim

I doubt that people who have " all things in moderation" have "cheat days"

That doesn't make sense to me

But then again neither does 50% of the stuff posted on these boards

To quote OP moderation is about avoiding an excess or extreme ...clearly having to "cheat" is the opposite

Clean eating is not in the same ballpark IMHO

Xanna89

So I had a 1000 calorie dinner of awesome and worked out 600 cal. Is that moderation? Lol

Kalikel

rabbitjb wrote: »

I doubt that people who have " all things in moderation" have "cheat days"

That doesn't make sense to me

But then again neither does 50% of the stuff posted on these boards

To quote OP moderation is about avoiding an excess or extreme ...clearly having to "cheat" is the opposite

Clean eating is not in the same ballpark IMHO

I assure you, I have had people very adamantly tell me that it does not mean you have to eat these things every day or every week.

I will begin a list, like someone else keeps for the many definitions of "clean."

Sued0nim

Yes ...you do that

Orphia

TheVirgoddess wrote: »

<snip so much awesome>
TL;DR: Moderation is avoiding an excess or extreme. It's eating by putting nutrition first, but happiness and satisfaction a close second. It's not restricting your food intake because rationally we know that juggling our calories so we can eat chili cheese tater tots once a month is not going to undo all the other days before them, or the ones after.

Bravo, well said!

It's not depriving yourself of things you love, or being a martyr to a nebulous concept, like some food ideologies I could name.

mantium999

Kalikel wrote: »

rabbitjb wrote: »

I doubt that people who have " all things in moderation" have "cheat days"

That doesn't make sense to me

But then again neither does 50% of the stuff posted on these boards

To quote OP moderation is about avoiding an excess or extreme ...clearly having to "cheat" is the opposite

Clean eating is not in the same ballpark IMHO

I assure you, I have had people very adamantly tell me that it does not mean you have to eat these things every day or every week.

I will begin a list, like someone else keeps for the many definitions of "clean."

Eat what things. If you mean "junk" or "crap" or "dirty", there is a distinct difference between having to eat them every day, and being able to eat them every day. Because of moderation. Eating an excess of anything is not moderation, and a "cheat" is not moderation, it is excess. I regularly fit a beer into my calorie allowance, in moderation. When I drink 6 beers, I don't try to make myself feel better because it was a "cheat" day. It was a failed day, with regard to my health and fitness goals. I put it behind me and move on. Sure, it happens sometimes. But if I blow my target by 1500 calories in one day, I have either set myself back 3 days, or I have to work harder the rest of the week to compensate. Rewarding oneself for your hard work with a set back, or the need to now work even harder, is hardly a reward.

professionalHobbyist

I agree OP

The idea of a varied diet that has a bit of everything and is nutritious and filling, at the right calorie amount is what I was advised to eat by every doctor.

The imbalances and excesses were not a path to success for me

Gianfranco_R

Kalikel wrote: »

rabbitjb wrote: »

I doubt that people who have " all things in moderation" have "cheat days"

That doesn't make sense to me

But then again neither does 50% of the stuff posted on these boards

To quote OP moderation is about avoiding an excess or extreme ...clearly having to "cheat" is the opposite

Clean eating is not in the same ballpark IMHO

I assure you, I have had people very adamantly tell me that it does not mean you have to eat these things every day or every week.

I will begin a list, like someone else keeps for the many definitions of "clean."

I don't know if the following piece is serious enough for your list, but here we go:

I always say to myself on entering Germany:
“Now, I will drink no German beer. The white wine of the country, with a little soda-water; perhaps occasionally a glass of Ems or potash. But beer, never—or, at all events, hardly ever.”
It is a good and useful resolution, which I recommend to all travellers. I only wish I could keep to it myself.
George, although I urged him, refused to bind himself by any such hard and fast limit. He said that in moderation German beer was good.
“One glass in the morning,” said George, “one in the evening, or even two. That will do no harm to anyone.”
Maybe he was right. It was his half-dozen glasses that troubled Harris and myself.

(from Three Men on the Bummel by Jerome K. Jerome)

juggernaut1974

I heart this thread

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