Body positive/health at any size support group

mmonaghan99

Hi! My name is Mary! I'm really involved in the body positive/fat positive/health at any size movement, because I think that all bodies are beautiful and no one should feel ashamed because of their size. I am fat (and I don't think of that as a negative thing) and I have an overall good body image (although we don't always love the way we look).
However, I'm on here, trying to loose weight, because I don't feel great. I am trying to eat healthier, and exercise more, because I want to feel more fit. My boyfriend and I are doing this together, not because of our appearance, but because we want to be healthier and more active.
Sometimes I feel like I'm betraying my ideals, because I don't think that anyone should have to justify their weight, eating, or health to anyone else. But I'm doing this because I want to feel good physically!
Anyway, I thought I would start this thread for anyone who is in the same boat as me. I want us to have a place where people focus on their health goals and feeling physically good, without shame or judgement or thinking that being skinny is the only good way to be (of course, no judgement intended to skinny folks, who are also welcome!)

HotKanye

I'm sorry no one ever replied to this! I think it's awesome that you're moving to be healthier and not just smaller or to look a different way. You're awesome!

silveru214

Good for you and your boyfriend You guys are doing what is best for yourselves and you are doing it for the right reason! I am trying to get healthier as well because if I don't start eating better then my son is going to have the same poor eating habits I do because of my parents poor eating habits. I just want to be better for myself and my children! I don't need to lose a ton of weight but I do need to get healthier so I start feeling better as well. I just keep working at it slowly but surely. I wish you and your boyfriend the best in becoming even better versions of yourselves. I will also continue working on my goal as well and thank you for sharing because I think I needed that positive look forward!

DonnaRhodes2015

Thank you for sharing. I am almost 75 years old. Just to let you know what you are doing does matter. Even at my age when health is a life or death issue. Yay for technology. We are not alone.

helloxkris

I wish more people were like you. As a health coach and weight management specialist I am a big advocate of HAES. I follow online many body positive models and athletes, many of whom are active and healthy even though they don't fit society's ideal of being thin. Do what you feel is best for your health, what makes you happy, and what fills your life with enjoyment.

thiswillhappen

This is awesome! Go you! I am working on body positivity, but I find it a challenge. You are inspiring!

disneybounddresses

Im in a similar boat. I love being a curvy woman. However, I just landed a pretty good promotional gig and I realized not only do I not like the way I look, I can't do what I use to. (It should be noted that in no way did the company I work for coerce me into weight loss. They don't even know I'm doing this) I still love my curves, but I want to be healthy, have cardio, stand on me feet without my knees hurting, run upstairs without being winded. I just am looking for the help to stay on track.

mmonaghan99

gokrisgo7 wrote: »

I wish more people were like you. As a health coach and weight management specialist I am a big advocate of HAES. I follow online many body positive models and athletes, many of whom are active and healthy even though they don't fit society's ideal of being thin. Do what you feel is best for your health, what makes you happy, and what fills your life with enjoyment.

I am a social worker and I work with young women with eating disorders, and I see how damaging the unhealthy behaviors are and how the negative body image hurts them. I'm always counseling them about mindful eating, and it's time I do the same. I'm glad to know that there are health coaches are HAES advocates! I work with some awesome medical and mental health professionals that promote HAES, and I love it.

I just know that my current weight isn't something that is healthy for me. I've lost 8lbs and I've been working out more and then already feel so much better!

And thanks to everyone else who replied, I am so glad I'm not the only one here who believes in being body positive!

mmonaghan99

disneybounddresses wrote: »

Im in a similar boat. I love being a curvy woman. However, I just landed a pretty good promotional gig and I realized not only do I not like the way I look, I can't do what I use to. (It should be noted that in no way did the company I work for coerce me into weight loss. They don't even know I'm doing this) I still love my curves, but I want to be healthy, have cardio, stand on me feet without my knees hurting, run upstairs without being winded. I just am looking for the help to stay on track.

Exactly! I used to be so much more active, I loved hiking and swimming and zumba, and especially weight lifting, and I just miss being active! I'm one of those people who loves going to the gym, and I am so glad to be working out more.

not_superiority

Sorry to be a small voice of dissent, but HAES and the HAES mindset really put me back as an individual in every way. I was close to 300 pounds and had a nearly equal amount of denial that came from "accepting myself for who I was." Since I put myself to task and truly held myself responsible for my actions I am on track to a normal weight (28 pounds to my goal) and at the beginning of a respectable career.

The success I've had over the past year stems from rejecting the HAES teachings that have been shoved down my throat by counselors and peers since I was a teenager. HAES does not allow one to challenge oneself to be better than what they are, and can have devastating results on impressionable minds. I never tried to find a good, stable career because I accepted myself for who I was, not who I could become. I never tried to really feel good about myself because I should just accept who I am because that will never change.

I write this out of respect, please try to see the fat acceptance/HAES movement for the toxic entity it really is.

mmonaghan99

not_superiority wrote: »

Sorry to be a small voice of dissent, but HAES and the HAES mindset really put me back as an individual in every way. I was close to 300 pounds and had a nearly equal amount of denial that came from "accepting myself for who I was." Since I put myself to task and truly held myself responsible for my actions I am on track to a normal weight (28 pounds to my goal) and at the beginning of a respectable career.

The success I've had over the past year stems from rejecting the HAES teachings that have been shoved down my throat by counselors and peers since I was a teenager. HAES does not allow one to challenge oneself to be better than what they are, and can have devastating results on impressionable minds. I never tried to find a good, stable career because I accepted myself for who I was, not who I could become. I never tried to really feel good about myself because I should just accept who I am because that will never change.

I write this out of respect, please try to see the fat acceptance/HAES movement for the toxic entity it really is.

I'm sorry that you had such negative experiences with HAES. But I think you might be missing the point of it. HAES is about focusing on behaviors, not size. This means that healthy eating, exercise, etc, are encouraged, but that the focus is on behaviors, not on size. Which is why I'm focusing my efforts on what I'm doing differently, not on a scale. It's also about the idea that someone's worth shouldn't have to be tied to their physical appearance, or health status. People of all sizes and all degrees of health deserve respect, both from others and from themselves. I'm sorry if this message was framed in a harmful way to you, because that's not what it is about. Trying to lose weight isn't anti-HAES, neither is trying to change yourself because it's what you want. I encourage you to look at the Association for Size Diversity and Health, it's a great resource.

lovefridays

"HAES is about focusing on behaviors, not size. This means that healthy eating, exercise, etc, are encouraged, but that the focus is on behaviors, not on size. Which is why I'm focusing my efforts on what I'm doing differently, not on a scale."

Thank you for starting this thread! As someone who has struggled with body image my whole life I would love to learn more about HAES.

Rosemarie

scaryg53

lovefridays wrote: »

"HAES is about focusing on behaviors, not size. This means that healthy eating, exercise, etc, are encouraged, but that the focus is on behaviors, not on size. Which is why I'm focusing my efforts on what I'm doing differently, not on a scale."

Thank you for starting this thread! As someone who has struggled with body image my whole life I would love to learn more about HAES.

Rosemarie

I second this. Now I am really interested, and I am going to research this right away.

megomerrett

DonnaRhodes2015 wrote: »

Thank you for sharing. I am almost 75 years old. Just to let you know what you are doing does matter. Even at my age when health is a life or death issue. Yay for technology. We are not alone.

I love this quote. Really sums it all up well Donna. Great to have that perspective.

cosmichvoyager

I also don't support negative self-talk, fat-shaming or the excessive value many societies place on a specific color skin, body size, weight, body type, gender, etc. I know appearances matter but they shouldn't divide us or cause people to feel shame about themselves or hatred and judgment for someone else.

Graceious1

I support this movement and realise that having a healthy body image is about being comfortable in your own skin. I struggled with this for years and since my divorce the views I had on my body image has sky rocketed. I had a rare skin condition that looked worse than in was. Since lifting weights and having treatment I feel much more confident looking at my body in a full length mirror. I also helps that my new companion is also has a positive body image. I am 46 with what is categorised as overweight but I feel sexy as heck!

almondbutterbay

mmonaghan99 wrote: »

I am a social worker and I work with young women with eating disorders, and I see how damaging the unhealthy behaviors are and how the negative body image hurts them. I'm always counseling them about mindful eating, and it's time I do the same. I'm glad to know that there are health coaches are HAES advocates! I work with some awesome medical and mental health professionals that promote HAES, and I love it.

As someone who used to have an eating disorder and it ruined my life, I can get behind this movement. I try not to engage in negative self talk.

bunsen_honeydew

I'm pleased to see this thread. I'd love to have some pro HAES people on my friends list, please add me if you wish!

deannab22

mmonaghan99 wrote: »

Sometimes I feel like I'm betraying my ideals, because I don't think that anyone should have to justify their weight, eating, or health to anyone else. But I'm doing this because I want to feel good physically!

No need to justify anything to us. But thank you for starting this thread & dialogue for those of us who want to have this support WITHOUT having to explain ourselves.

I'm so glad I'm not alone in this community! IDK why it took me a week to realize I needed to find my people on this site.