Struggling to shift from a mindset of losing to maintaining...

Reinventi0n

So, I have lost over 75 pounds and I am now trying to maintain my weight. I lost the weight eating about 1600-1800 calories daily with a weekly "cheat meal" that I do not track. Now that I am at a point of needing to maintain my weight, I am really struggling to shift my thinking from losing to maintaining. MFP recommends about 2,300 calories a day for me to maintain but lately I have barely been making it to 1800 calories. I think I am nervous that if I begin to increase my calories I will start to fall into old patterns of mindless eating and will start to gain weight back. I also feel like I should be eating less during the week to make up for my weekly "cheat meal" so that I don't gain as a result of it. At the same time I know that eating at the calorie level I am now is still causing me to lose, albeit smaller loses. I was looking forward to being able to eat more in maintenance when I was losing but now that I am there I am also afraid to eat more.

Has anyone else struggled to transition to mindset of maintaining? What helped you? Open to any suggestions!

If makes a difference..I am a guy, 5'10 and 145 pounds.

Thanks!

Paul_Collyer

How about trying to log a deficit for just 3 or 4 days a week, eat a little more liberally on the rest and see if that balances out?

Or, try a month of not logging, while monitoring weight, and at any sign of an increase, go back to logging for a week, and so on?

erickirb

Oh wow, at 5'10" I don't think I would be doing maintenance at your weight, I would try to bulk and add some lean mass.

I am not big myself, but weigh the same as you at 5'6"

If you are having trouble getting your calories in, drink more of them, not filling and add up fast (milk, juice, shakes, etc) add olive oil to soups, salads and sauces. Avoid lite and low fat foods, opt for the full calorie versions. Use nuts and nut butters for snacks, eat full fat milk, cheese, yogurt.

dfranch

Once I lost all the weight I wanted to, I couldn't shake the feeling like I was one big binge from gaining 90 lbs back again (overnight). It took a few months for me to realize that weight gain is as gradual as loss. If I put 1 or 2 lbs back on, I have the tools to lose it again. Now, I'm actually trying to add muscle, which means forcing myself to eat 300 calories over maintenance, that was a hard thing to wrap my head around.

Reinventi0n

erickirb wrote: »

Oh wow, at 5'10" I don't think I would be doing maintenance at your weight, I would try to bulk and add some lean mass.

I am not big myself, but weigh the same as you at 5'6"

If you are having trouble getting your calories in, drink more of them, not filling and add up fast (milk, juice, shakes, etc) add olive oil to soups, salads and sauces. Avoid lite and low fat foods, opt for the full calorie versions. Use nuts and nut butters for snacks, eat full fat milk, cheese, yogurt.

I have actually been thinking about trying to "bulk" up a bit. Nothing crazy but I would love to get more defined and look better come summer. Exercise is not my strong suit so Im just not completely sure where to begin with this.

Reinventi0n

dfranch wrote: »

Once I lost all the weight I wanted to, I couldn't shake the feeling like I was one big binge from gaining 90 lbs back again (overnight). It took a few months for me to realize that weight gain is as gradual as loss. If I put 1 or 2 lbs back on, I have the tools to lose it again. Now, I'm actually trying to add muscle, which means forcing myself to eat 300 calories over maintenance, that was a hard thing to wrap my head around.

That is exactly how I think sometimes! I know logically that weight gain does not work that way but I can't help but think that if I eat even a couple hundred calories too much I will gain a bunch of weight back with no warning. It's a crazy way of thinking and I am working to break out of it.

AskTracyAnnK28

OMG - you live in Parsippany! We're almost neighbors! hahahaha

I think I agree with the bulking idea.

OT - but you weigh 4 pounds less than I do and I'm a chick who's 5'8

Reinventi0n

tracyannk28 wrote: »

OMG - you live in Parsippany! We're almost neighbors! hahahaha

I think I agree with the bulking idea.

OT - but you weigh 4 pounds less than I do and I'm a chick who's 5'8

Haha, Small world! Hello neighbor!

Yikes! The reason I let my weight get this low is because my biggest problem area is my stomach and I kept thinking if I lose just a little bit more I will finally get rid of it. However, I think instead of weight being the issue with that, I probably needed to be working out more to get more toned.

Sued0nim

tracyannk28 wrote: »

OMG - you live in Parsippany! We're almost neighbors! hahahaha

I think I agree with the bulking idea.

OT - but you weigh 4 pounds less than I do and I'm a chick who's 5'8

Heck he's 18lbs lighter than me at 5'8 but it depends on your musculature and how you carry weight I suppose

As for the mindset - that's a bit of a struggle for me too .. I want to be at maintenance but I'm still happy to be 1000-1300 under it each week .. I'm just going to keep on trying to loosen the control, without loosening the logging and see how I go

OP if you do want to bulk you're going to have to eat in a surplus

icrushit

My suggestion would be to look into intermittent fasting (IF) to effectively use as training wheels as you forge a healthier relationship with food. If you're like me, I needed to leave go of food logging if I was to take the next step and forge a healthy relationship with food, instead of having an adversarial one where food was seen instead as a potential enemy to be contained.

The IF I find helped give me the training wheels and some structure that I could let go of letting the numbers control what I ate, yet provide a framework for damage limitation.

The other thing IF has given me, is a very convenient mechanism to cut calories 1 or 2 days a week if I feel the need to drop body fat at any point (I do, as I still have 5'ish lbs left to lose). Such a mechanism is important I feel, as if your weight does drift upwards too much, you want to be able to dial it back handily enough, without having to go into full-on dieting and tracking mode.

I like the freedom it all affords me, as well as the ability to build muscle by resistance training and eating enough to build that muscle most of the week, and focus any fat-cutting to one/ two days.

Anyway, an alternative perspective perhaps, as it's something I have given a bit of thought to and I don't intend to have to worry/ watch things closely for the rest of my life once I lose the weight I plan to. In such cases, some form of loose, but effective system, that allows me apply my focus to other areas in my life tends to suit me best personally, and I'm finding IF is allowing me to do that with weight management.

erickirb

iloseityes wrote: »

My suggestion would be to look into intermittent fasting (IF) to effectively use as training wheels as you forge a healthier relationship with food. If you're like me, I needed to leave go of food logging if I was to take the next step and forge a healthy relationship with food, instead of having an adversarial one where food was seen instead as a potential enemy to be contained.

The IF I find helped give me the training wheels and some structure that I could let go of letting the numbers control what I ate, yet provide a framework for damage limitation.

The other thing IF has given me, is a very convenient mechanism to cut calories 1 or 2 days a week if I feel the need to drop body fat at any point (I do, as I still have 5'ish lbs left to lose). Such a mechanism is important I feel, as if your weight does drift upwards too much, you want to be able to dial it back handily enough, without having to go into full-on dieting and tracking mode.

I like the freedom it all affords me, as well as the ability to build muscle by resistance training and eating enough to build that muscle most of the week, and focus any fat-cutting to one/ two days.

Anyway, an alternative perspective perhaps, as it's something I have given a bit of thought to and I don't intend to have to worry/ watch things closely for the rest of my life once I lose the weight I plan to. In such cases, some form of loose, but effective system, that allows me apply my focus to other areas in my life tends to suit me best personally, and I'm finding IF is allowing me to do that with weight management.

IF can work but is not necessary either.

OP: sounds like if you were not lifting while losing weight that a large % of your loss also came from lean muscle. lifting while losing is important so that you are a lower BF% at your goal weight, or your goal weight is higher than it would be if you lost a lot of muscle.

Reinventi0n

iloseityes wrote: »

My suggestion would be to look into intermittent fasting (IF) to effectively use as training wheels as you forge a healthier relationship with food. If you're like me, I needed to leave go of food logging if I was to take the next step and forge a healthy relationship with food, instead of having an adversarial one where food was seen instead as a potential enemy to be contained.

The IF I find helped give me the training wheels and some structure that I could let go of letting the numbers control what I ate, yet provide a framework for damage limitation.

The other thing IF has given me, is a very convenient mechanism to cut calories 1 or 2 days a week if I feel the need to drop body fat at any point (I do, as I still have 5'ish lbs left to lose). Such a mechanism is important I feel, as if your weight does drift upwards too much, you want to be able to dial it back handily enough, without having to go into full-on dieting and tracking mode.

I like the freedom it all affords me, as well as the ability to build muscle by resistance training and eating enough to build that muscle most of the week, and focus any fat-cutting to one/ two days.

Anyway, an alternative perspective perhaps, as it's something I have given a bit of thought to and I don't intend to have to worry/ watch things closely for the rest of my life once I lose the weight I plan to. In such cases, some form of loose, but effective system, that allows me apply my focus to other areas in my life tends to suit me best personally, and I'm finding IF is allowing me to do that with weight management.

I do a kind of loose variation of IF right now. I don't stick to any set rules, but I make a point to to leave at least 11-12 hours from when I last eat the day before to my first meal the next day. I almost never eat before 10am/11am and I tend to eat lighter (400-600) calories during the day and save the bulk of my calories for the me evening meal. However, I can look into other IF options that might make it possible for me to not track as strictly.

Reinventi0n

erickirb wrote: »

IF can work but is not necessary either.

OP: sounds like if you were not lifting while losing weight that a large % of your loss also came from lean muscle. lifting while losing is important so that you are a lower BF% at your goal weight, or your goal weight is higher than it would be if you lost a lot of muscle.

You are probably right. Most of my exercise focus so far has been cardio and I did not really do much weight lifting while losing. I now regret not incorporating more strength training. I am now trying to figure out a plan for that and am debating between investing in a gym membership/trainer or getting some sort of at home program/machine. I am kinda clueless when it comes to exercise, so I am leaning towards the option of a trainer at least to get me started.

erickirb

Reinventi0n wrote: »

erickirb wrote: »

IF can work but is not necessary either.

OP: sounds like if you were not lifting while losing weight that a large % of your loss also came from lean muscle. lifting while losing is important so that you are a lower BF% at your goal weight, or your goal weight is higher than it would be if you lost a lot of muscle.

You are probably right. Most of my exercise focus so far has been cardio and I did not really do much weight lifting while losing. I now regret not incorporating more strength training. I am now trying to figure out a plan for that and am debating between investing in a gym membership/trainer or getting some sort of at home program/machine. I am kinda clueless when it comes to exercise, so I am leaning towards the option of a trainer at least to get me started.

I would suggest you pick up the book Starting Strength and do the gym membership thing. use youtube info from Mark Ripetoe to learn proper form. Then I would say do that program, or strong lifts 5x5. This way you know what to do and how to do it, and then if you get a trainer it can be to work on form to make sure you are doing things correctly, which will save you money going to see them all the time

icrushit

Reinventi0n wrote: »

I do a kind of loose variation of IF right now. I don't stick to any set rules, but I make a point to to leave at least 11-12 hours from when I last eat the day before to my first meal the next day. I almost never eat before 10am/11am and I tend to eat lighter (400-600) calories during the day and save the bulk of my calories for the me evening meal. However, I can look into other IF options that might make it possible for me to not track as strictly.

I was pretty much the same, in that I observed a 14:10 protocol (10am- 8pm eating window) without intentionally going out of my way to take up IF. I'm finding what works best for me right now, and tends to simplify things a lot, is eating my daily calories over 2 quite large meals that when I tracked, worked out to be about 50% of my daily calories for each meal.

It might not be for everyone, but it seems to be working great for me. With the 2 large meals, I find it very hard to snack with a very full belly. Also I find it simplifies food decisions (only 2 meals to worry about), but moreover pretty much lets me eat whatever I want, as I find there is only so much I can eat at a meal before I have to say no more. This last fringe benefit is proving great, as it's letting me work any food cravings out of my system (things I would have excluded from my diet when focussing on weight loss before), but without overeating too much I find. In all, it's proving a great way (at least for me), to work through forging a much healthier relationship with food, with just enough of a system/ structure to ensure things don't spiral out of control.

To be successful long term, I think you need a plan that let's you enjoy the things you enjoy, and also has some sort of lever(s)/ tool(s)/ mechanism(s) to moderate your weight up or down if so required. Intuitive eating is my ultimate goal I'm realising lately, and the above is just my way to get there, as if I just jumped into it and ate freely, I know it would be a disaster. An interim step is definitely proving best for me, although that is selling fasting short, as besides just being a useful tool, it's something that comes with a nice number of fringe health benefits too

By the way, I agree with the suggestion to adopt some strength training to add muscle mass. You seem quite light for your height, and some added muscular mass probably wouldn't hurt. Erickirb's suggestion is a good one, do a little homework on a good basic nuts and bolts strength programme like Starting Strength/ Stronglifts/ etc, and if you opt for a trainer, you will have a good idea of things so as to make the most of such sessions with a trainer. There are good bodyweight/ calisthenics programmes that will achieve what you want too, but given you stated this is quite new to you, a more accessible programme like a basic compound lifting programme at a gym may be more accessible. If you decide you want an alternative, I find this one very good http://www.startbodyweight.com/p/start-bodyweight-basic-routine.html

erickirb wrote: »

IF can work but is not necessary either.

Of course. Lots of options will work, it's all about the OP finding the most effective and suitable one for him

amahler

I give myself 2 days off. I don't log Saturday or Sunday. I generally have a rotating 3 lbs that is there waiting for me on Monday morning!
When I first started several years ago I logged every day until I got to my goal....now I am in maintenance mode.
I do work out 3 to 5 times per week. Intense cardio & strength training.

ewhip17

I'm in a very similar situation. I've been trying to get over the mental barrier of eating more. I've been working with a trainer/performance professional who's been helping get me there but what's been helpful is bumping up calories by a couple hundred and maintaining that level for a while. Inevitably I put on a pound or two of water with these steps up, but then it comes back off and I feel ok about going up again. With this method I'm actually eating more than I have in the past year and still lost weight last week, so I know it's time to move up again. So baby steps I guess you could say.