Family in town = poor food choices. Help!!

jljshoe1979

Discovered a new dilemma in my weight loss journey that started yesterday. My mother-in-law and her husband came into town yesterday to visit. I offered to cook, but everyone wanted to order a pizza for delivery. I haven't had pizza in a while, so I was okay with the calorie splurge. I had one slice and a few garlic knots and a soft drink (carbs, salt, sugar). Tonight, everyone wanted to go out to a Japanese steakhouse. I ate my soup, salad and less than half of my entrée because I wasn't hungry. Before I really thought about it though, I had a candy bar and a soft drink when I got home (my attitude was one of feeling defeated and "what's the point in trying to eat healthy right now.") We will probably repeat this tomorrow with a different restaurant. My body is not happy with me...it's 1:30AM and I feel icky...I'm thirsty from the salt and wired from the caffeine/sugar. Also, all this food is becoming leftovers in my fridge. My husband leaves the house to go to work everyday, and the relatives are staying elsewhere...so I feel obligated to eat this food, so it doesn't go to waste. Normally, when I cook, I eat that for leftovers. I know this will pass, and I will get back on track, but I wish they would at least pick a place that serves a salad with more than iceberg lettuce. If anyone, has a similar experience with being the minority when it comes to choosing where/what to eat I would greatly appreciate your feedback.

jljshoe1979

Anyone else go through this or anything close?

Hanfordrose

I offered to cook, but everyone wanted to order a pizza for delivery.

But you didn't have to eat it.

...so I feel obligated to eat this food, so it doesn't go to waste.

Since when did you become the family garbage disposal? That is a biggest and lamest excuse to pork out on leftovers that I have ever heard. What next? Children in Africa are going to die, if you don't eat the surplus of food in your house. Give it away...throw it away, but don't use that as a reason to eat those leftovers.

If anyone, has a similar experience with being the minority when it comes to choosing where/what to eat I would greatly appreciate your feedback.

You asked for it.

I have eaten in countless restaurants, since starting my food plan in December. To my amazement, I discovered that I can eat a healthy, low calorie meal just about anywhere. Ask for help at the restaurant, and you will get it. Those restaurant folks aren't trying to hurt you, though your family may be less than helpful. Perhaps, you didn't make it clear to them that you have a problem with their choices.

Tell 'the family' that you CANNOT and WILL NOT eat like that again. If they want to eat at pizza joint or steakhouse or MacDonald's, you will make sure to eat less than 350 to 400 calories...with or without their approval. All leftovers will go home with the family members who insisted on eating out. If they don't want to watch you eat a salad, while they eat pizza...it is THEIR PROBLEM...not yours.

If any member of your family tries to get you to forego your calorie limit, look that person in the face and say very clearly, "I am doing this for ME. I need your support; and I expect your support, unless you just want to see me eat myself fatter and fatter."

This is your life, and they need to get on board with your choices for that life. Speak up for yourself. Don't be a victim of your family's bad choices.

No more surprises...no more excuses.

jljshoe1979

You're right. I think I started out trying with my offer to cook (I try to plan my meals out for easier grocery shopping, less money spent, and better food choices), but my husband said no we were going out to eat - this conversation took place two days before they got into town. (he does this to me anytime people come to see us for meals...I even asked him if there is something wrong with my cooking. He said no, but still....I digress that's another topic altogether). Deep down I was okay with the pizza order because it had been a while, I did go over my calories, but contained myself to one slice, and I didn't account for doing Japanese food on top of it. At the Japanese place, I filled up on soup, salad, I ordered Hibachi chicken (hoping for that to be the least calories from my choices, but still have protein), and ate less than half...I also told them I didn't want any noodles. As far as the waste, I hate throwing food out - I plan on making two more meals out of it which will help with the calories, but not so much with the salt...The candy bar/soft drink was all on me (however, I did give my husband half of the candy bar). I don't eat like this back to back. I'm just frustrated because I didn't do what you said about standing up for myself. Also, haven't been to the gym because of family time (I did get to have a marathon cleaning session where I burned some serious calories). If I was healthy, it wouldn't be a problem to work in going to the gym, but one of my medicine side effects is fatigue, and I simply can't do so many things back to back without needing to pass out...of course, right now I want to sleep, but all I did was toss and turn...

grimendale

I feel you on the whole being a human garbage disposal issue. I was raised to clean off my plate, regardless of whether I was hungry. If anyone else at the table couldn't finish, I was expected to finish for them. It created a very unhealthy habit for me that I have spent the last two years working to beat, with mixed results. It can be hard to make yourself throw the food away, but if it wasn't good for you and you didn't have room for it in your calories/macros, then it would be a bigger waste to throw away your hard work for the sake of a few dollars. It's hard at first, but it gets easier with practice. People won't like watching you eat healthy while they eat garbage, but as hanfordrose said, that is their problem. Take care of yourself first.

FitFunTina

Last weekend we went to FIL's house for a cookout. Burgers dogs, etc. I knew this in advance so I prepared myself mentally. I had one burger, and skipped on the mayo-laden sides. I ate only what I thought would be worth the calories, and then I even controlled that. FIL's wife insisted on sending leftovers home (she usually does, so I was prepared for that), so I graciously accepted with DH's approval that whatever didn't get eaten for dinner that night would go in the garbage. Neither of us were hungry for dinner, so we threw it all out. Sometimes with family it's easier to politely accept what is insisted that you take, and then do with as you please.

As far as eating out, you did the right thing by making good choices (although the soda you did have control over!). When I go out to eat we always research our options at whatever place we go to. DH and I always know what we are going to order before getting to the restaurant.

It's real life. If your real life says that realistically you're going to have to eat out from time to time, then you should be able to adjust accordingly. You don't have to always order a salad (I never do - the stuff they put on it has more calories than some of the real entrees). And it gets easier with time.

aelunyu

I see these posts alot. Reversion, or non compliance due to external factors in your life. I guess the question to seriously ask yourself is if you've really decided to lose weight and develop healthier eating habits.

Counting calories, macronutrients, exercise and consistency can only be achieved once a decision is made. Just like deciding to buy a house, or a car, though those decisions are set up so that they are hard to back away from.

Deciding is 50% of the work, figuring the most efficient way to reach those goal is the other half.

Have you decided? or are you unsure.

Have you decided?....Have you?

MinnieInMaine

I don't see too much wrong with the meals you had, it was those extras (soda, candy). Sure pizza's a high calorie choice but you only had one slice and a couple garlic knots which probably didn't add up to much more than you usually have for dinner. And your choices at the Japanese place were just fine. Yes there's extra sodium in all that so you might go up a bit from water retention but drink lots of water and get a workout in so you sweat some of that out. No biggee.

The way I see it, your problem lies in the extras that you allowed yourself because you let those bad voices in your head take over (messed up, might as well give up) and I think you know it.

Your only choice is to stop all that right now and come up with a plan for the rest of the week. Again, I don't see a problem with continuing to go out to dinner as long as you make healthy choices but try talking with your husband again about cooking something special at least one of the remaining nights. Bring something specific to the conversation like a nice BBQ (everyone loves BBQ!) or something fancy that you're really good at making.

With the leftovers, have your husband take them to work with him for lunch and tell him that if he doesn't you're going to throw them out. As others pointed out, there's no need for you to feel like you're responsible for cleaning up after others. Eat what you usually do and throw it away if no one else wants it.

As far as activity goes, how about inviting your inlaws to do something active with you? Go for a walk in a park, go for a hike or a bike ride? Play tennis or golf?

I went on vacation with some of my family a couple years ago and managed to lose 2 pounds because I was determined to make the best food choices I could and be as active as I could. I woke up early every morning and hit the gym then we walked almost all day doing the tourist thing. Trust me, there were some crazy temptations but I limited myself to tastes and called it good and managed to lose 2 pounds! It is possible if you really put your mind to it!

jeanywren

I understand your position. It is hard sometimes to find good choices when everyone around you is eating whatever you used to eat in abundance. As previously said, you have to stay strong, and if it means chucking the left overs do it, if it can not be frozen for another time or hubby's lunch, etc. That is difficult when you have been raised to not waste food.

This weekend I am going to stay at my BIL's house as my sister in law is not well and in the hospital. I know we will be going out for meals and since BIL is almost 80, he will have a hard time wrapping his head around my eating. However, even at Boston Pizza, their favorite place since SIL can not see and can eat pizza with her hands, they do have salads, LARGE ONES. I will order that, bring part home for next days lunch, and cook for BIL, On top of it all, they are not vegetable eaters .

Get back on track, today is another day. You can do it. All the best.

Lizzy622

I have this problem too. We don't go out but my MIL brings lots of my husbands favorite food (high fat and sodium) and when she leaves my fridge is full of it. It took me a while to realize but health wise it is cheaper to throw it out than eat it and be miserable.

RM10003

I had the same issue lately with in-laws in town for a family wedding and sightseeing. Somehow, though, I managed to lose weight both weeks despite eating out, etc. Less than a pound each week, but it still happened. Just make the best choices you can and be good in your other meals so you'll have a little leeway when you do go out. And don't blame others for your choices.