weight double standards

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magsmichelle
magsmichelle Posts: 34 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have been on both sides of this. I was fat, now i'm thin. However I like to call myself fit and healthy.
It seems now that I have gotten to this great point, people feel it is acceptable to verbalize their opinions on my body. "woa, you're too freakin thin" I heard that today. No, I am not too thin. I am 5'2 and 120.8lbs. that is a healthy weight for someone my height. Yes, I am thinner than I use to be, but it is not too thin.
Has anyone else had people in their life who thinks now that you are a "smaller" weight it is OK to talk to you about your weight? When I was fat, no one said "woa, you're too freaking fat" or "here eat this celery" they may have thought it, but they never had the guts to tell me that to my face.
Just ticks me off a little.
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Replies

  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,715 Member
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    Personally, I've never dealt with this, but from what I read here it is very common. Read some other threads on this topic. There have been many. I think you'll get some good advice.

    I am fit (and according to others "thin"), but I've never had anyone comment on my weight - to my face. Perhaps they do it behind my back (yep, talking about you, mom & sister, who are both obese and blame it on 'genes" when neither will workout or change their eating habits). Anyway, I have been told that I give of a "standoff-ish" vibe overall, so I think people just don't say anything to me out loud. Not sure what that says about me, but I also don't care.
  • StephMDtoo
    StephMDtoo Posts: 37 Member
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    In a Parents Magazine I read once a mom was being harassed for being too skinny for a mom. The advice was too tell the offender that the gym time had paid off with lower cholesterol, better heart health and more than likely being able to spend more time with the kiddos growing older. (Not sure if that applies here).
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
    edited February 2015
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    No, I'm fit...the only time I've been called skinny or whatever was when I was skinny...don't get me wrong, I was a healthy weight...but very skinny at one point. Then I got really fat...then I cut the fat and hit the weight room and otherwise got my training on and now I just kick *kitten*...I mean I'm no greek god or anything...but I'm reasonably awesome.
  • JPW1990
    JPW1990 Posts: 2,424 Member
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    I only got it from people who didn't matter. Fortunately, my family and friends weren't idiots. What irritated me more was things like co-workers who thought me noticeably losing weight was a free pass to ask me how much I'd lost and what I weighed that week.
  • mburgess458
    mburgess458 Posts: 480 Member
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    Up until a few years ago my wife used to naturally be very thin. When she was younger some people (usually people old enough to be her parents or grandparents) would tell her she should eat more. I think people assume that being thin is a choice that people have to work at... so giving advice makes sense to them. Even when it is unwanted advice. People are clueless.

    More people understand that overweight people probably aren't that way on purpose so they don't offer advice as often.
  • riffraff2112
    riffraff2112 Posts: 1,757 Member
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    I don't get told that I am too skinny very often (cause I am not). But many people do say "You are not dieting anymore are you? cause you look good"...
    I am glad they think I look ok now, it definitely makes me shake my head sometime. What was I before I was 'ok'?

    What should they say though? I am not sure there is a way to compliment the 'new' you without comparing it to the old you.
  • flumi_f
    flumi_f Posts: 1,888 Member
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    5'2'' and 120....that is pretty much my goal too and I will be slim, healthy and fit, but not skinny. I have about 6lb to go and when people hear, I want to lose those...oh no, but you look great already....They won't notice those last few lbs, but they will give me a bit of wiggle space on the scale and in my clothes.

    You're doing fine!! Sometimes people can't keep up with the changes in our bodies, because they aren't used to seeing you slim. They need time to adjust ;-)
  • esjones12
    esjones12 Posts: 1,363 Member
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    It's just their jealousy showing through! Tell them off and/or don't let it bother you. Their opinions of you shouldn't matter anyways. If people ask questions you don't want to answer tell them it is none of their business. Because it's not.

    Tip: I have found it easier to let those comments go now that I have a strong support system of fit and strong friends who have the same goals as I do. I actually hang out with a bunch of personal trainers and group class instructors LOL.

    **Now if you ARE an unhealthy weight or have unhealthy habits....please seek medical attention.
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Personally, I've never dealt with this, but from what I read here it is very common. Read some other threads on this topic. There have been many. I think you'll get some good advice.

    I am fit (and according to others "thin"), but I've never had anyone comment on my weight - to my face. Perhaps they do it behind my back (yep, talking about you, mom & sister, who are both obese and blame it on 'genes" when neither will workout or change their eating habits). Anyway, I have been told that I give of a "standoff-ish" vibe overall, so I think people just don't say anything to me out loud. Not sure what that says about me, but I also don't care.

    Are you my long lost twin?
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    My dad said I looked "anorexic" last summer. At 5'9" and 160lbs. Whatever. People are dumb.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
    edited February 2015
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    i haven't gotten to that point yet (give me time ;) ) but I *AM* starting to get comments (and hear second hand comments) about how much better i am starting to look and how 'proud' they are of me or how 'motivational' I am.

    really? ive only lost 22 pounds and its already starting. and i have (literally) a hundred more to go.

    please, tell me how bad you think i looked. LOL

    but at this point, the comments make me happy, cause it means people are starting to notice. at 120 i might feel different ;)
  • Ftw37
    Ftw37 Posts: 386 Member
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    Yeah, I've had people say "you look too skinny" to me. My BMI is right in the middle of normal. I guess they were just used to seeing me gigantically fat.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    It's even worse if you are a female who has some muscle. People call my body gross or manly. I don't take any of it personally. That's their opinion and I do this for me, not them. Just ignore comments unless they are from close family that seem concerned.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    The correct response to this person is "Wow, it must suck to be so ugly inside and out". Grr I would have throat punched them!
  • joeboland
    joeboland Posts: 205 Member
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    The one that bothered (and still bothers) me the most is when people talk about "how fat I used to be". Believe it or not, guys, the self-conscious part of me still twinges every damn time you say that. Like, is that REALLY what you thought of me? Makes me wonder what you might still find "wrong" with me that you're not saying anything about.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
    edited February 2015
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    usmcmp wrote: »
    It's even worse if you are a female who has some muscle. People call my body gross or manly. I don't take any of it personally. That's their opinion and I do this for me, not them. Just ignore comments unless they are from close family that seem concerned.

    tumblr_m5ohpw0d5y1rxi7oyo1_500.gif
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
    edited February 2015
    Options
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    usmcmp wrote: »
    It's even worse if you are a female who has some muscle. People call my body gross or manly. I don't take any of it personally. That's their opinion and I do this for me, not them. Just ignore comments unless they are from close family that seem concerned.

    tumblr_m5ohpw0d5y1rxi7oyo1_500.gif

    howimetyourmother-barneyirequestthehighestoffiveshighfive.gif
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    usmcmp wrote: »
    It's even worse if you are a female who has some muscle. People call my body gross or manly. I don't take any of it personally. That's their opinion and I do this for me, not them. Just ignore comments unless they are from close family that seem concerned.

    tumblr_m5ohpw0d5y1rxi7oyo1_500.gif

    Yeah, this.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
    Options
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    usmcmp wrote: »
    It's even worse if you are a female who has some muscle. People call my body gross or manly. I don't take any of it personally. That's their opinion and I do this for me, not them. Just ignore comments unless they are from close family that seem concerned.

    tumblr_m5ohpw0d5y1rxi7oyo1_500.gif

    Right!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
    Options
    usmcmp wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    usmcmp wrote: »
    It's even worse if you are a female who has some muscle. People call my body gross or manly. I don't take any of it personally. That's their opinion and I do this for me, not them. Just ignore comments unless they are from close family that seem concerned.

    tumblr_m5ohpw0d5y1rxi7oyo1_500.gif

    howimetyourmother-barneyirequestthehighestoffiveshighfive.gif

    conan-up-high.gif

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