Terrified of Losing Weight!

m0llecule

Alright, so throughout the years I've lost and regained weight. Each time getting to 190lb (just above my lowest remembered weight, 189lb) and then regaining most of it again. For me my weight gain was due to a traumatic experience where I felt if I gained weight, I would protect myself, as to no longer be deemed attractive by others (in my eyes at least.) Well this time around I've gotten to my lowest weight (185.4) and I'd like to continue losing. I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be health or fitness wise but every few days I see me sabotaging myself and either eating too much, too often, or just the wrong sorts of thing (primarily wheat, which I am allergic to) and to counter act this I'm either restricting my calories the rest of the day, or days following which is, (in the short term) allowing me to lose weight but is also in no way good for my body. I'm just at a loss as to how to correct my mentality and not be so fearful of losing weight. Any thoughts or insight would be greatly appreciated.

andreamaym

Have you ever spoken to a professional about your feelings towards food and your weight? I think that may be something worth looking into, especially if it's causing disordered eating.

m0llecule

Oh yes, I see a therapist regularly, and have meet with both doctors and nutritionists many, many times. Nothing has stuck thus far so I figured I'd give this a go as well, but yes, I have for sure tried to get professional help.

sassynsweet2014

Try thinking of your eating and fitness as just part of your lifestyle, don't do it to "lose weight" just focus on being healthy each day. It's not about the number on the scale (maybe even get rid of your scale), it's about fueling your body with healthy choices and being the best you that you can be. Also, I agree that speaking with a professional would probably be beneficial.

Blueseraphchaos

You've spoken to therapists and nothing has stuck...this may sound off-the-wall, but have you considered taking a martial arts class? Two benefits there: great exercise and self-defense lessons.

Otherwise, i also agree with do it to be healthy and not so much for the number on the scale. Good luck!

m0llecule

But that's the thing, I'm ultimately not doing this to lose weight. I don't want to lose any more, I only care about losing because I know my current size isn't healthy for me. As far as food and exercise goes there really is very little more I could be doing to be healthy in general. It's just in those moments where I feel upset with the weight loss that I'll have a sandwich, or eat an excessive amount of sunflower seed butter, or too much dark chocolate and that's what triggers me to restrict because I know I won't get to my "goal" with the influx of calories. I do really like the idea of removing my scale as well as martial arts class. I'll have to give both a try, thank you!