Recovering From Anorexia ( 19 yrs old ) SERIOUS GAME ATTITUDE !

wjayeverdjd

Hello , I am from Ontario . As the title says , I am recovering from anorexia . Now your first thought might be - then get your *kitten* off my fitness pal . Well , heres the personal facts .
I am 5'8 111 pounds . I gained currently from 104 pounds . I have battled 3 years of anorexia and also nearly had heart failure . I don't normally log my calories . I just don't eat high calorie foods or avoid food groups completely . I have premisson from my dietitian to log my foods on my fitness pal ( I asked her and we discussed the pros and con's ) . We decided together that my fitness pal may help me stop under eating ( if serious about recovery ) . I am serious about recovery . After losing three years of my life , I have finally found myself in a happy place . I am discovering my strengths and can say I have learned to like myself much more then ever before .

That said , fitness and health will always be an interest of mine . Before anorexia , I ran on my schools cross country team and played basketball . I was the athlete of the year .

I am working on gaining that title back but however slowly . My goals are increase calories , keep cardio low , and strength train slowly for muscle gain . I will later apply for college , join cross country , and eat like a champion ( I'll have to increase by then again ) .

So , if you wanna be friends and watch my progress . I'll add ya .

I'm on the first phase of P90X .

cpink1022

I think that it's awesome that you're doing this for your self. I also think that it's awesome that you're taking the initiative to log the foods you eat. Gaining weight, especially when you're on the end curve of anorexia, is really hard. You might think you're eating enough, but you're probably not. Especially if you're having a hard time gaining wieght.

LKArgh

May I ask why you profile indicates you are in the process of losing weight?

kjm3579

My wife's best friend went through the same struggles as a young woman and actually went through inpatient treatment -- she was healthy and her body looked great after she got control of her eating or lack thereof and did sensible exercise and ate properly. Keep at it and use MFP as a support network.

emdeesea

Are you trying to gain or lose? Your profile says you're trying to lose.

firstsip

I'm glad you're working with a dietician. There are definitely pros and cons when it comes to using this app while in recovery for an ED.

A few things to point out: as others have said, your settings indicate that you're trying to lose weight. You can change your goals in MFP to gaining.

You also said you're meant to keep cardio low, and low impact exercise is generally what's recommended for people still in the early stages of recovery. P90X is not any of this, and I'd urge you to let your dietician know this is the exercise you were planning to do. I don't think he or she would recommend you continue.

nosheetsherlock

I'm recovering too, do you want to be friends?

GiddyupTim

Good luck, wjayeverdjd.

wjayeverdjd

I haven't yet updated all my information . And the p90x first phase calorie suggestion is my starting intake for recovery . I will be increasing as I become more confident . I have already stopped 7-13 day fasts . I have already gained and will continue .

wjayeverdjd

I will again let my dietitian know . I am not following every workout on the plan . I am selecting the lowest impact exercises and really focusing on only 30 minutes of the strength videos .

wjayeverdjd

Alright , I've updated my information .

wjayeverdjd

emdeesea wrote: »

Are you trying to gain or lose? Your profile says you're trying to lose.

Gain . I had to update my information .

10alliemarie

I would definitely let the dietician know the exact exercises you are doing and your goals of becoming an athelete again. She might adjust your calorie counts to help you with your goal.

wjayeverdjd

Also , I'm a weird picky eater . If added , you're going to notice that . I have weird habits due to three years of disordered eating and food fears but I found a love in quest bars recently . And ate a pizza with a friend last night

wjayeverdjd

My dietitian didn't want to discuss meal plans in our meeting because she fears that those struggling with anorexia might be compelled to ONLY follow the meal plan and cut down from the items on the list . I told her it wasn't my goal to do so but she reminded strong in her belief.

wjayeverdjd

Basically , I am recovering with support but I am not in a eating disorder outpatient program anymore because I recently had to move . However , I am seeing a behavioral specialist for PTSD & visiting the dietitian . I will be moving once more and very soon . I will be joining the outpatient program then . We don't have any programs in my small town that I'm living in and I don't drive .

wjayeverdjd

MFP is the best method we could think of currently to make sure I meet calorie goals since I naturally under eat .

FatFreeFrolicking

I saw in another thread on MFP that you are eating 1800 calories. Did your dietitian recommend this? I ask because the recovering anorexics I've worked with have all been told to eat over 2000 calories (usually closer to 3000 calories). I think 1800/day is probably too low for you to gain weight, especially if you are exercising.

Congrats on wanting to get better! That's the hardest part for most anorexics and you've done it!

FatFreeFrolicking

wjayeverdjd wrote: »

Basically , I am recovering with support but I am not in a eating disorder outpatient program anymore because I recently had to move . However , I am seeing a behavioral specialist for PTSD & visiting the dietitian . I will be moving once more and very soon . I will be joining the outpatient program then . We don't have any programs in my small town that I'm living in and I don't drive .

I'm glad you will begin an outpatient program soon!

Obviously a dietitian cannot help you recover from the psychological aspects of anorexia. Anorexia isn't just about food. It is mostly psychological. A dietitian can help you address calorie goals, macros, etc. which will lead to weight gain. But you will still need an outpatient program because that focuses on changing your behaviors/thoughts which is the main problem.

wjayeverdjd

She suggested I start at 1800 calories , introduce 1 fear food per week , and also increase as time goes on . This is just my starting point .

I have anorexia . I have been in treatment for three years . I know the disease . I know why I have it but I'm not going to get into my life story .

I had a mental health team of professionals but moved .

I know exactly what steps I must take and go through .

This is just an introduction post like any other .

wjayeverdjd

People without anorexia often view those who suffer with the disease as perhaps - misinformed . However , anorexia can develope in any background no matter profession , age , or sex . It is a mental illness . It became my coping skill throughout many child hood stresses but I am also not my anorexia . I have anorexia but I am also a person like any other .

I'm here because Id love to meet those who have healthy goals , practice self love , and self care .

I'm also here because I am in recovery .

Like said before , I was a runner . I have also studied greatly in health and fitness . I don't lack knowledge of either . I simply lack the skill of putting it into action and also have a disease which alters my body image and likes to sit upon my shoulder as a disguised " angel " . However , it is a complete and utter demon . I have struggled for three years and have been admitted 10+ times .

I have been through many programs as well as many health and fitness classes . In fact , my recovery goal is later working as a personal trainer .

Health and fitness is a personal interest and has been since grade 3 . I just got lost in a sea of traumas which triggered and formed my anorexia .

But I am becoming more .

urloved33

Welcome!

XC_Guitar17

Hey! It's nice to meet you.

I'm so glad to hear that you're currently in recovery for anorexia. Also, it's cool that you ran cross country and want to get back into that. I actually run cross country, so I know what an awesome sport it is.

I wish you the best of luck as you begin this amazing journey! You can do it!

Feel free to add me if you want.

XC_Guitar17

wjayeverdjd wrote: »

People without anorexia often view those who suffer with the disease as perhaps - misinformed . However , anorexia can develope in any background no matter profession , age , or sex . It is a mental illness . It became my coping skill throughout many child hood stresses but I am also not my anorexia . I have anorexia but I am also a person like any other .

I'm here because Id love to meet those who have healthy goals , practice self love , and self care .

I'm also here because I am in recovery .

Like said before , I was a runner . I have also studied greatly in health and fitness . I don't lack knowledge of either . I simply lack the skill of putting it into action and also have a disease which alters my body image and likes to sit upon my shoulder as a disguised " angel " . However , it is a complete and utter demon . I have struggled for three years and have been admitted 10+ times .

I have been through many programs as well as many health and fitness classes . In fact , my recovery goal is later working as a personal trainer .

Health and fitness is a personal interest and has been since grade 3 . I just got lost in a sea of traumas which triggered and formed my anorexia .

But I am becoming more .

This reads like poetry. It's inspiring, seriously! You're a great writer.

And I agree that you "have anorexia but [are] a person like any other." People are quick to label those struggling with any type of disease as just "an alcoholic," just a "drug addict," just an "anorexic," or just a "bulimic." But people struggling with disease are not defined by that disease. It does not become their name, their label. Instead, those people struggling are "a man with alcoholism," "a boy struggling with a drug addiction," "a girl in recovery from anorexia," and "a biker in recovery from bulimia,"

At least that's what we learned in my college psychology class.

XC_Guitar17

wjayeverdjd wrote: »

emdeesea wrote: »

Are you trying to gain or lose? Your profile says you're trying to lose.

Gain . I had to update my information .

So is there like a reason that it still says losing is your goal now, about 2 weeks after you said you had updated your profile?

I'm totally not trying to make you mad or argue with you. I'm just asking this so that you know what your profile says in case there's a weird glitch or something.

emilybradshaw25

You are so inspiring!! Good luck with your recovery (*) you sound very strong minded and determined to reach your goals! my profile also says 'lost ..kg' and seems like there is no option to change this but I am gaining weight. Like you I increased calorie intake slowly and built up an appetite now I aim for 3000 calories a day. Feel free to add me!!

josueg123

I've been really inspired from reading your post. Literally once I got done reading the first thing I said was "**** yeah, this person is awesome and I would love to be their friend" stay focused and stay motivated. You aren't your illness, you're so much more than that. Show it to the world.

occultllama

You may add me if you like, I am also recovering? But I haven't started treatment yet so everything is still pretty messed up calorie wise. I'll let you decide if you want to be friends, I know seeing someone else struggling while you are trying to get better can be triggering.

Katerina9408

Wish u luck ! You can do this !

JTGJTG

Good luck, wj! I think this is a very good medium for you -- my sister was anorexic (due to a horrible trauma, not her fault) and, for her, it was about having control over something in her life more than about the food. She still likes to feel in control of her life, but it's in a healthy way. Congrats on the decision to get better... it does.