'That person' in the Gym

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  • NekoneMeowMixx
    NekoneMeowMixx Posts: 410 Member
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    365andstillalive wrote: »
    My biggest advice is to treat the gym like it's for what it is: working out. Ignore whatever social cues they're giving you. In my experience, if you're doing something wrong in the gym, especially a form issue that's going to get you hurt, someone will actually mention it to you.

    Maybe the front desk was just a sour puss this week? Maybe the staff member you saw upstairs is a little socially awkward, etc.

    Do you, they don't matter. Go crush that workout!

    First person said it best. It's really sad that the staff themselves would act that way. That's literally what the gym is for, so it's really poor on their part to behave like that. I know I had an incident earlier this week with a woman in the locker room who, upon walking in to see me in sweats and my sports bra, t-shirt in hand as I adjusted my HRM, stared at me with just the most unashamed, disgusted look on her face. It was really embarassing, as I was pretty shy about changing in the first place....

    Just to give you an idea, I'm 5 foot 6, and ~133 pounds... So yeah, discrimination happens no matter what shape, size, age you may be... Just don't let it get to you. As they say, haters gonna hate :P
  • foursirius
    foursirius Posts: 321 Member
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    This sounds like a mental thing more than what is probably going on. Most people at the gym dont talk to each other and the desk people may say hi to me, but who cares?
  • Roxiegirl2008
    Roxiegirl2008 Posts: 756 Member
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    I have been going to my gym for two years pretty much daily (except run days). I take classes and work with one of the trainers. So basically all the staff knows me by name. The reason I tell you this is because some days I get a big old welcome and other days I just walk without much acknowledgement. I don't really think much of it.

    I can speak for myself that I don't really pay much attention to anyone else either. I am there to get my work done and get out. Sometimes before and after class I will socialize but other than that no. A smile and nod as I pass people on the stairs or taking over a piece of equipment after they are done is about it.

    Don't worry just go and enjoy your workout.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    edited March 2015
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    Lois_1989 wrote: »
    mumblemagic wrote: »
    Eta: maybe have a word with one of the approachable staff. Part of the great thing about my gym is the friendly staff. They even say hi in the street if we see each other around town! You shouldn't let them put you off but neither should they be rude.
    whatatime wrote: »
    Can you find one of the more "approachable" staff members and ask for their feedback? I prefer to be up front and just ask if there are issues/concerns. If you don't want to do that, or they don't mention anything specific, then just ignore them.

    Well they all were friendly up until this week lol. Its almost like a bad rumor has gone around or something, its weird. I guess I'll just plug myself in to my ipod and maybe it (what ever it is) will blow over soon.

    Thank you for your responses so far. :smile:

    They're always friendly when they're getting you to sign the contract, lol! Sales! That might be disguising a secret attitude on their part of not actually caring about any of their patrons. I've been to gyms where they don't even look at you when they pass you a towel or swipe your card, to ones where they make a point of greeting every member, with a smile, by name. Might be a culture thing. But you don't know this until after you've been there a few weeks, because those first times, they're still happy about the commission.

    Don't worry about it, honestly. You might be catching them at times they're busy or something - you really don't know what's going on. But also, who cares? Go in and do your workouts!
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    Another possibility is that you're putting out some unusual signals, because of anxiety (e.g. if you feel awkward about going to the gym). Like if, despite yourself, you're somehow expectantly looking at them for some kind of response, they might not know what to do with that. And then their reaction might feed back into your anxiety in a kind of feedback cycle.

    If that's the case, try not to expect anything from them for a while, and try to tolerate any feelings of discomfort. Just go in and do your thing.
  • dolliesdaughter
    dolliesdaughter Posts: 544 Member
    edited March 2015
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    What does any of that have to do with you paying your fee and working out? I apologize for saying this, but you sound a bit paranoid.
  • LeanButNotMean44
    LeanButNotMean44 Posts: 852 Member
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    The people who work at and work out at my gym are anything BUT friendly, and I could not care less.
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
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    Are you wearing deoderant? Do you put equipment back when you're done & wipe equipment down if you're sweaty? Do you avoid talking loudly on your phone?

    If you don't wear deoderant, don't clean up after yourself and/or you talk loudly on the phone, then I'd say you may be "that person". If you don't do these things then don't worry. They could be having a bad day/week, and it has nothing to do with you. Go in and do your thing, don't worry about them.
  • KatyLBC
    KatyLBC Posts: 354 Member
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    Ignore them! They aren't doing anything to help you! Do your thang, girl! I'm 208 and 6 feet tall, I get looks but I smile and keep it pushing. Maybe they are intimidated by you?
  • dbienz
    dbienz Posts: 188 Member
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    AbsoluteTara79 wrote: »
    You're overthinking this. From my perspective, the societal rules of the gym are to interact only when negotiating equipment use.

    Just throwing it out there, but this may be attentional bias. That is the tendency of our perception to be affected by our own recurring thoughts. In other words, your perception of other people in the gym (not making eye contact, being rude, avoiding you), may be distorted or affected by your preexisting belief that they would perform such behaviors towards you when you were there. Because of that recurring thought you sought out behaviors that could be perceived this way, even if that was not at all the intention. Someone else may assume the employee is busy, is having a bad day, or they don't need any help working out because they are so awesome!

    This is just a thought and could be completely off base. I know when I first went back to the gym I felt like everyone was giving me weird looks, like "what is this chick doing?" After a few trips I realized people were glancing but in a natural way that we do; looking around the gym, watching for lifting ideas, spacing out, or even checking out the hot person at the gym (aka me!) :)
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    Lois_1989 wrote: »
    Hello everyone,

    So, I've just got back from the gym, and I've just realised I am now 'that person'. The one people avoid eye contact with. Funnily enough not really with other gym go-ers but the gym staff. I walk in, smile at the person on the desk, get no response, do my work out the whole time noticing that if I make eye contact (not even intentional just look up and happen to make eye contact) with a staff member they look away really quickly. Its unnerving and making me quite self-conscious. To the point where I'm wondering if I am doing something wrong, a technique or misuse of the equipment. This isn't a one off either it has been happening all week. At first I though maybe I ripped my trousers or something embarrassing like that, but nothing that I can see. As a 200lb+ girl the gym isn't exactly the most comfortable place in the world to be to start with, this on top makes it worse.
    I'm not really sure how to deal with this. I don't want to stop going or change gyms because they are the only one near by with a squat rack. I didn't know if anyone had suggestions on what it could be or how to deal with it?

    Thank you :smile:

    Most probably, it is just in your head or not related to you at all (e.g. maybe management requested they are in general more formal).
    If you are 100% it is you, have you chnaged anything in your routine? I have seen at times people do some really weird or even dangerous things, and often employees appear to be just uncomfortable, not know what to say for fear of offending a client.
    The only other thing I can think of is body odour, but I suspect you would have noticed everyone avoiding you in this case.
  • fitzman84
    fitzman84 Posts: 40 Member
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    dbienz wrote: »
    AbsoluteTara79 wrote: »
    You're overthinking this. From my perspective, the societal rules of the gym are to interact only when negotiating equipment use.

    Just throwing it out there, but this may be attentional bias. That is the tendency of our perception to be affected by our own recurring thoughts. In other words, your perception of other people in the gym (not making eye contact, being rude, avoiding you), may be distorted or affected by your preexisting belief that they would perform such behaviors towards you when you were there. Because of that recurring thought you sought out behaviors that could be perceived this way, even if that was not at all the intention. Someone else may assume the employee is busy, is having a bad day, or they don't need any help working out because they are so awesome!

    This is just a thought and could be completely off base. I know when I first went back to the gym I felt like everyone was giving me weird looks, like "what is this chick doing?" After a few trips I realized people were glancing but in a natural way that we do; looking around the gym, watching for lifting ideas, spacing out, or even checking out the hot person at the gym (aka me!) :)

    This^^^

    Everyone at the gyms looks around in between sets or exercises. I used to think I was doing something wrong when I first started too... over time you get used to it.

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