Support not criticism please

crisbabe81

Maybe it is just me, but I feel like so many people on the forums are negative and criticize people. I know my opinions are that, my opinions and when I disagree I do it in a tactful way. I don't post a lot, but lately when I do I want to scream. If you are like me and want support and not for people to judge you, feel free to add me as a friend.

My story...

I'm 31, no kids. I started my weight loss journey in 2009 at 275lbs. I had lapband in Sep 2009 and lost 75lbs that way. When I plateaued, I decided to change my diet even more and add exercise. For me Lapband was a launching pad, gave me the big loss to get me motivated. By Sep 2011 I hit my goal weight of 150, thought about going lower but I'm rather busty and felt If I went any lower I'd look top heavy. I completely abandoned eating right and exercising when I met my husband (bad I know) and gained 75lbs!! We have been talking about having kids and I realized I need to be healthy again. So in March 2013, I start dieting, get discouraged and stop.. I decided in April I need a big loss again to get me motivated. I did a fad diet as so many people and lost 22.8lbs. Now I'm motivated again!! I'm back to exercising and eating healthier (90% of the time) and today I weigh 198. I have about 48lbs to get back to 150, and will evaluate how I feel to see if I keep going or not.

janiesue101

Sounds like your off to a good start.

Mary2302

We all need a little push.. I don't like to be harshly criticized.. I mean, I understand not everybody will agree with me.. but like you said .. do it in a nice manner.. right??

Feel free to add me.. I need some encouraging friends too .

jenf235

I think you are doing great. You know what you want and you are going after it! Taking that first step is always the hardest and you have done it already! Good luck in your journey!

Timshel_

Usually the criticism comes from the mentallity of the weight loss, i.e. that people will become out of shape over years and then use gimmicky unhealthy diets to try and regain their "fitness" in a month. The criticism and surveys show that most fail because they did not change their habits and conditioning for how and when they eat. So really, like others mention, everyone needs a kick start and huge weight loss is usually really good for that, but really you may have set yourself up to gain again when eating a truly balanced diet and general dialy exercise don't give you those huge results in a short amount of time.

Find your consistency in eating and exercise, and doing it consistently over the rest of your life. You'll do great!

magerum

You could try to garner the useful information most of the critics offer. It's usually from personal experience and experience on here. Good luck :flowerforyou:

crisbabe81

Usually the criticism comes from the mentallity of the weight loss, i.e. that people will become out of shape over years and then use gimmicky unhealthy diets to try and regain their "fitness" in a month. The criticism and surveys show that most fail because they did not change their habits and conditioning for how and when they eat. So really, like others mention, everyone needs a kick start and huge weight loss is usually really good for that, but really you may have set yourself up to gain again when eating a truly balanced diet and general dialy exercise don't give you those huge results in a short amount of time.

Find your consistency in eating and exercise, and doing it consistently over the rest of your life. You'll do great!

This is what I like to see, constructive criticism! Thank you for that. I didn't gain the 75lbs in a week, so I know it will take time. I'm an instant gratification kind of girl, so if I get big losses a few weeks then I'm hooked and all in. After I did my fad diet it took me about a week of struggling to start loosing again, it was a experiment to see what my body would tolerate. Carbs and sugar are not good to me.. So I cut most of it out, I'm adding it back slowly to get use to it in hopes I can have a balanced diet again!

cwolfman13

Often times, criticism is support, even if the individual receiving it doesn't know it. It does nobody any good to bolster a bunch of bro-science and opinion that it easily rebuked with actual facts and science. This is often perceived as criticism when in fact, it's usually knowledgeable people actually setting things straight with actual facts.

Contrary to popular belief, everyone is NOT so different as they think they are...barring certain and legitimate medical conditions, this is all pretty much basic math and science and works the same for everyone...there really aren't too many actual snow flakes out there. Catering to the snow flake mentality does nothing positive for the individual as they will just remain uninformed/misinformed and continue to not have the results they are expecting.

BeachIron

I'll be the first to say that I can be critical. I'm that way to push people to think about what they're doing. I do occasionally go overboard. Losing weight isn't easy but it is quite simple and I also think it's too easy for someone faced with the occasional challenge of the scale not moving or the cravings starting in, to want to find the quick fix. There are no quick fixes. Seriously, they don't exist.

Then there are the trolls.

And the sky is falling/pseudoscience pushers who feel that cancer and key to the obesity "epidemic" is hiding under every box of Oreos.

And then you have the "you have to do my exercise program to be successful" types.

And the women shouldn't be doing so and so (lifting comes to mind) or looking like so and so (ripped up comes to mind).

And then, of course, are the types that want to hear no criticism whatsoever and just want positive reinforcement no matter how ridiculously idiotic or outright dangerous their ideas.

My suggestion is to find the middle path and stick to it. Pick a calorie count that is healthy and sustainable. Find a way of eating that is healthy and sustainable. Find a cardio program and a strength training program that both work for you. Enjoy your rest days. And when the day comes, and they do come, where you just couldn't care less and feel like quitting, cut yourself some slack and take a diet/exercise IDGAF day. Just don't go too overboard and make sure you come back to GAF the vast majority of the time.

RllyGudTweetr

Echoing others here, it is often difficult to provide feedback to people espousing false or faulty information as "The Way" without sounding like you're criticizing them. At the same time, choosing not to respond to those spurious claims on "The Way" simply allows them to spread unchallenged, garnering support that makes them ultimately harder to overcome, while doing their supporters very little good (or, in some cases, actual harm).

crisbabe81

Thank you for the honesty. I would like to say I am in the middle ground, I'm fumbling my way thru the weight loss this time. Last time I had a personal trainer guiding me and I'm doing the same things but not getting the same response (in my body). I don't mind criticism I just ask that it is constructive. I realize people don't know everything bout me, they know what I tell them, but I am a pretty intelligent person and know what is "right" and what is "wrong". I have to try things, and learn on my own a lot of the time, and share my experiences. But the responses I've had just make me not want to share. Just needed to vent.

crisbabe81

So I will spill the beans to be 100% honest, my "fad diet" was hCG, I don't believe it's the miracle diet, I know way to many people who have been doing it off and on because they gain the weight back. I did it solely for the big loss to jump start my motivation. and I only did so after 2 failed attempts to start eating right and exercising on my own. I also started taking Garcina Gambogia when I stopped losing when I transitioned off hCG. Now you all have the full story.

BeachIron

So I will spill the beans to be 100% honest, my "fad diet" was hCG, I don't believe it's the miracle diet, I know way to many people who have been doing it off and on because they gain the weight back. I did it solely for the big loss to jump start my motivation. and I only did so after 2 failed attempts to start eating right and exercising on my own. I also started taking Garcina Gambogia when I stopped losing when I transitioned off hCG. Now you all have the full story.

So you learned something. Those aren't sustainable or healthy. Focus on learning how to eat and exercise in ways that are sustainable and plan on living a long, active and healthy life.

PikaKnight

So I will spill the beans to be 100% honest, my "fad diet" was hCG, I don't believe it's the miracle diet, I know way to many people who have been doing it off and on because they gain the weight back. I did it solely for the big loss to jump start my motivation. and I only did so after 2 failed attempts to start eating right and exercising on my own. I also started taking Garcina Gambogia when I stopped losing when I transitioned off hCG. Now you all have the full story.

So you learned something. Those aren't sustainable or healthy. Focus on learning how to eat and exercise in ways that are sustainable and plan on living a long, active and healthy life.

^This

crisbabe81

So I will spill the beans to be 100% honest, my "fad diet" was hCG, I don't believe it's the miracle diet, I know way to many people who have been doing it off and on because they gain the weight back. I did it solely for the big loss to jump start my motivation. and I only did so after 2 failed attempts to start eating right and exercising on my own. I also started taking Garcina Gambogia when I stopped losing when I transitioned off hCG. Now you all have the full story.

So you learned something. Those aren't sustainable or healthy. Focus on learning how to eat and exercise in ways that are sustainable and plan on living a long, active and healthy life.

^This

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