Afraid of losing 'Too Much'

Abigeal2015

I love my body and although it's great it has its flaws that I would prefer to be done with them.
I weight 219Lb but am able to carry it well.
219lb is a lot for someone so young, and I feel like a freak.
But more than that I don't want to lose too much that I'm not me anymore.
Does anyone else have this problem?

TavistockToad

How tall are you?

Abigeal2015

5'4

afur73

you will always be you no matter how much weight you lose. personality doesnt change with exercise, your longevity of life may though.

mojojorox

I only logged on to comment to say how inspired I am by reading this post. Not every woman needs to have a BMI of 20 to look good and although you could do with losing a bit for health reasons I think its a great thing that you love your body and realise how lucky you are to have a fully functioning body. Just cut out some junk food, lose weight slowly without a stupidly low deficit and then stop and maintain when you feel comfortable with yourself - don't aim for size 0 or anything like that because then you'll end up unhappy and obsessed (and if you're like me and many others I know you'll actually end up gaining weight because of the inability to love yourself leading to binges etc!). Basically ignore the people being nasty, lost a bit of weight and love yourself even more.

jemhh

Abigeal2015 wrote: »

I love my body and although it's great it has its flaws that I would prefer to be done with them.
I weight 219Lb but am able to carry it well.
219lb is a lot for someone so young, and I feel like a freak.
But more than that I don't want to lose too much that I'm not me anymore.
Does anyone else have this problem?

As afur73 said, you will always be you no matter what. You're going to find that you enjoy the "new and improved" version of yourself but, at your core, you'll still be the same.

And ignore people who try to berate you along the way. Pick the goal you want. Do this for you, not for anonymous internet trolls.

Breage

I am 70 and weigh just over 12 stone. My partner died two months ago, and I am finding it hard to eT properly. My appetite is small and I seem to be dropping weight, but am not eating correctly. Has anyone any ideas for cooking for one which won't take hours and is tasty?

UprightMan

Speaking cold, hard truth is berating/trolling nowadays. Either listen to soft and cuddly messages posted by people who need motivation and can easily "relapse", or listen to a no-*kitten* breakdown by people who have discipline and are allergic to the junk food version of encouragement.
"Not every woman needs to have a BMI of 20 to look good" - no, they don't, but they sure as hell won't look better with a BMI of 27.
"Great thing that you love your body" - Already established that if you love something, you don't let it go to waste.
"Lose weight slowly without a stupidly HIGH deficit" - no one advocated for this.
"Stop when you feel comfortable with yourself" - Comfort is the death of progress. You can love who you are (genuinely love) and still know you can be better and strive to achieve it.
"Don't aim for a size 0" - Again, no one advocated to get unhealthy on the other end of the spectrum. Then again there is no universal size 0 in women's clothing - you should know that.
"Inability to love yourself" - Oh so you believe it and praise her for loving herself when she's OBESE, but apparently underweight people don't love themselves, are unhappy, obsessed, etc.

You - Learn how your body works - and learn it from non-HAES sites. Go to the pool and push yourself swimming, walk places, don't use elevators, escalators, etc.. Make a proper diet with a calorie deficit based on your daily activities and your body. Start weight training. Do other cardio, but nothing too intensive on your joints yet because you'll just further damage them because of your weight - start doing "land" cardio when you're down to a reasonable BMI. Then do HIIT. Cardio isn't cardio unless you're a hot, sweaty mess at the end. Anything else is *kitten*.
If you have fat friends, cut them out or learn to not listen to their jabs because no fat person likes to see another fat person lose weight -- it just flares up their own insecurities.
There is no reward "because I was good" food. There is keeping to your diet and there is failing. You don't get the luxury of reward foods when you're in damage control mode.
Likewise - "cheat days" don't mean you pig out on cake and ice cream; they just mean you eat more of what you'd eat to create a calorie surplus.

If you don't know how to do any of that, go to the gym and find a personal trainer or use one of the established programs that are shown to work (for the love of god, just not crossfit). Come to think of it, get a competent personal trainer anyway to show you proper form when lifting, and to give you tips on your diet.

At the end of the day, just remember that if you cheat and lie on your plan, the only one you're hurting is yourself.
...Yourself, and the taxpayers who are forced to pay higher healthcare premiums and whose tax dollars are more heavily allocated to welfare/disability payments because apparently you are perfectly healthy and beautiful when you're fat, but still file for disability. Ah, and let's not forget being a global market force which means companies will adjust their products to your unhealthy tastes/lifestyle. Oh, and your children will have a much higher probability to become fat because of you, too; obesity in developing children is also linked with a smaller IQ, so they also have that going for them when they grow up. Thanks, mom and dad.
BUT APART FROM ALL THAT, you're only hurting yourself.

Now go become a proud and productive member of society other people can look up to. It's going to be hard, but you don't grow as a person by staying in your comfort zone.

mackiscute2002

I understand the "carrying weight well thing" i am 5'8" and have always been like that. Medically i have been obese for many years but everyone always said not to worry. I dont think you need to worry about losing to much weight. As you get close to your goal just adjust your diet and excercise.

jenncornelsen

your weight doesnt dictate who u are. aim to be healthy. my goal is to reach a healthy weight for my height. has nothing to do with what size i will wear. i love myself enough now to do that for myself. its a journey but worth it. i thought i carried my weight well at my heaviest. -215. well honestly i look at pictures of me back then and realize i was fooling myself. i was wearing a size 18-20. thats not carrying my weight well. sometimes we can't see it when we living it.

joejward95

How about getting to a healthy weight before you start worrying about losing too much. Talk about jumping then gun on things!

999tigger

It just sounds like anxiety. You will always be you. How do you know you wont look great without the weight, you would certainly be considerably healthier. If you start to lose weight you will be in control and you cna always decide when to stop or if you dont like thin and healthier then you can enjoy putting it back on.

Why not just lose it in 5lb steps and then reassess when you are at your ideal weight.

ForeverSunshine09

You got about 100lbs before you should worry about losing too much. I am also 5'4 my goal weight first is 120 and if I can I will go to 110 because I know I am small framed when I am not fat. You can still love yourself and want to improve yourself.

2ledbetter

@Abigeal2015‌ I understand where you are coming from. However, I'd like to ask you a couple of questions to consider?

1. If you where completely happy with yourself the way you are now, why are you considering changing?
2. Is there anything physically that you would like to do but don't because if your weight?
3. How do you feel when shopping for clothes?
4. When you become a mom, will you be able to keep up with your children?

I am a 5'1 1/2" woman ( not much shorter than you) I'm 53 years old and spent the last 20years over 200lbs. I started out in August 2014 weighing 295 but just reached 219. I can honestly say that even though my weight is evenly distributed I am not at a good weight. This weight I carry prevents me from doing all the things I really want to do. Not to mention unhealthy. As you are a young woman I want to strongly encourage you to lose some weight as others have said, it won't change who you are as a person it will only enhance the good qualities you admire about yourself now.

arditarose

I'm 5'4" too. I can tell you that losing enough weight to get into a healthy BMI did not change "me". I don't have the 44 inch hips and 29 inch waist anymore. I slightly miss being a pear, but it had nothing to do with ME. I'm still the same. I just fit into clothes better and I'm stronger and more confident.

Abigeal2015

Thank you. Everyone, you have helped me out a lot!

flumi_f

Read my profile pic You are on the road to a better version of yourself. At least that's what happened to me.

Abigeal2015

I'm going to find that picture! Thanks @flumi_f‌

SkinnyGirlFatBody

Abigeal2015 wrote: »

I love my body and although it's great it has its flaws that I would prefer to be done with them.
I weight 219Lb but am able to carry it well.
219lb is a lot for someone so young, and I feel like a freak.
But more than that I don't want to lose too much that I'm not me anymore.
Does anyone else have this problem?

Why do you want to lose more weight? I think this is the most important thing to ask yourself. If you are happy with you and your body, then I say congratulations you have reached something that most people on this site are searching for.

Be true to you. If you're happy consider maintaining. If the reason you are wanting to lose more weight is for health reasons, schedule an appointment with your doctor and have a good discussion about what you need to be healthy. You don't have to be a size zero, you don't have to have a certain BMI. You just need to be happy with you.

Abigeal2015

SkinnyGirlFatBody wrote: »

Abigeal2015 wrote: »

I love my body and although it's great it has its flaws that I would prefer to be done with them.
I weight 219Lb but am able to carry it well.
219lb is a lot for someone so young, and I feel like a freak.
But more than that I don't want to lose too much that I'm not me anymore.
Does anyone else have this problem?

Why do you want to lose more weight? I think this is the most important thing to ask yourself. If you are happy with you and your body, then I say congratulations you have reached something that most people on this site are searching for.

Be true to you. If you're happy consider maintaining. If the reason you are wanting to lose more weight is for health reasons, schedule an appointment with your doctor and have a good discussion about what you need to be healthy. You don't have to be a size zero, you don't have to have a certain BMI. You just need to be happy with you.

I want to feel great when I take pictures, I look back at my fat(ter) pictures and I love them because they show progress and they show my love for my own body. I'm proud of those pictures just as I'm proud of my skinnier pictures.
I've never been skinny, as a child I went from being a kid to fat, and I've shaped it well, with always being active and eating well, but I think calorie counting is the best for me.
Next year I graduate and I want to look my best for the pictures.
Thank you!