Self-Sabatoge

lthames0810

SergeantSausage wrote: »

It ain't sabotage - it much simpler: (1) Food tastes good. Damned good. (2) Piss-poor impulse control. (3) Little to no tolerance for discomfort.

1 + 2 + 3 are it. Usually in combination.

Yep. Basically not wanting it bad enough to overcome these three things.

Even the real, valid and serious fears and issues that kyta32 described so well boil down to those fears being stronger (and understandably so, in some cases) than how much we want 'It." And, yes, sometimes it may take professional help to change that around.

Really, when I've "sabotaged" myself with an epic binge that sets me back, I may wonder and despair about what's wrong with me that I can't follow through with my plans. What kind of character flaw makes me helpless in the face of Cadbury Eggs? Why don't I want to lose weight? When I stop and consider the roots of the problem, it comes down to those three things the Sergeant listed. In the moment I just don't want it bad enough to overcome the discomfort of sadness or hunger or cravings, to overcome the impulse to eat something to excess in order to soothe it, especially with the most good tasting thing I can find.

mumblemagic

envy09 wrote: »

I don't think Americans are "afraid to be thin" as you put it. I think they live in a society that encourages an over indulgence of high calorie, low nutrient food. This, along with the increasingly sedentary life most people lead and their general lack of nutritional knowledge makes it hard for them to lose weight and especially hard to maintain any weight loss they do achieve.

When a majority of people are eating more of the wrong things then that becomes the new normal. So, instead of viewing eating healthy as a lifestyle change, they view it as a diet, something that has a beginning and an end. They do not understand that their "diet" is how humans are supposed to eat. Instead, they are constantly told that eating healthily is somehow strange or different from a "normal" diet when it is in fact the new normal that is strange and different.

So, on top of the social pressured surrounding their diet, Americans or really anyone from a Western country have to deal with the fact that they will never be able to eat "normally" again. If they wish to maintain their new, fitter self, they will always have to be on, according to their mindset, a diet that it strange and different. The thought of having to do anything abnormal for the rest of your life is scary, and the thought of having to do something not only hard, but that requires both thought and planning is even scarier.

In the end I think a lot of people sabotage themselves because the idea of going against the grain in regards to diet and fitness is so overwhelming that it seems impossible to maintain. They think they will fail sometime in the future anyway, so why should they keep putting in the effort now?

Interesting analysis. I think the same applies in Britain too TBH.

999tigger

I think a destructive trait is common, but theres normally an underlying reason for it, so its a good thing you are getting help to identify it. I dont think it would be normal for people to be afraid of getting to goal weight, but I cna see how it might cause apprehension in a few individuals, maybe because its fear of the unknown.

Id guess tha majority of people binge because they dont like the restriction and sometimes lose the connection or resent it between what they eat and what they weigh. Dieting is a bit dull.

ditsyblond17

999tigger wrote: »

I think a destructive trait is common, but theres normally an underlying reason for it, so its a good thing you are getting help to identify it. I dont think it would be normal for people to be afraid of getting to goal weight, but I cna see how it might cause apprehension in a few individuals, maybe because its fear of the unknown.

Id guess tha majority of people binge because they dont like the restriction and sometimes lose the connection or resent it between what they eat and what they weigh. Dieting is a bit dull.

I think you hit the nail on the head. Thank you. Its a fear of the unknown. Espejcally for people who have identified their self with being the "fat person." So changing that leaves one vulnerable to rejection. Also, being thin when you've made your whole world to fit the fat, is just hard to translation to. If you were poor, and new you had to switch to becoming rich to help save your life, there's still fear you nay Not fit in. Or worse, become poor again by spending it all. Or make "fake" friends. There's so Many deep rooted issues for people that have been over weight their whole lives. Gaining a lot later on in life, after experiencing what it's like to be thin, that seems a bit easier to handle.

MindySaysWhaaat

I imagine it this way: the people who have kicked their smoking habits usually are the most critical of those who are still struggling with smoking.

So people who've gotten past their internal demons or whatever caused them to have emotional eating problems can end up the same way, extra critical.

I would suggest focusing more on the present and what you can do now to help yourself. Most therapists say that you have to learn to cope with and let go of whatever trauma you had so that you can begin to heal.

Good luck. Remain positive.

ditsyblond17

MindySaysWhaaat wrote: »

I imagine it this way: the people who have kicked their smoking habits usually are the most critical of those who are still struggling with smoking.

So people who've gotten past their internal demons or whatever caused them to have emotional eating problems can end up the same way, extra critical.

I would suggest focusing more on the present and what you can do now to help yourself. Most therapists say that you have to learn to cope with and let go of whatever trauma you had so that you can begin to heal.

Good luck. Remain positive.

VERY TRUE. they are quick to say others aren't trying as hard as they are. I thought MFP was for motivation. I'm finding more and more people belittling me. Thank you for your kind words.

SergeantSausage

ditsyblond17 wrote: »

Sergeant Sabatoge, quick question, have you ever been extremely overweight or borderline obese? Or instead, have you chosen a different vice. Perhaps alcohol? My point is, yes those three things could very well be it, but there's a LOT more to fat people remaining fat. Don't you think they want to be thin to enjoy their lives and experience things only healthy individuals can? There comes a point where it's not just physical, but internal struggles at well. Things that take professional help like any abuse of a "drug." Problem is, coke addicts and alcoholics are able to stop going to parties and avoid bars. Obese people can NEVER be without food. EVER. So, it's more than just the simple food in, food out. Some days , I wish I were addicted to hardcore drugs instead. Way easier to quit.

You cannot be helped in your current state of denial.

Good luck.

I am done here. It is pointless to continue.

SergeantSausage

{ Duplicate post. Deleted.}