How do you know when to stop?
AskTracyAnnK28
Posts: 2,817 Member
I'm 5'8 and had an original goal weight of 165, but when I got there I knew I could do better. When I dropped 5 more pounds, I decided to shoot for 155...and so on and so on. So now I'm 143 and I just...I don't know if I'm slim emough yet. Which makes me think I should probably stop and go into maintenance, but part of me thinks I can go harder and drop more and the whole thing is making me very confused.
So, how do you know when you really are done losing?
I'm kinda asking because I overheard a colleague at work talking to my supervisor asking if I was "Ok" and saying "she just got so thin - is she sick?" Now, this wasn't said to be mean or gosspiy...she actually sounded concerned...
So, how do you know when you really are done losing?
I'm kinda asking because I overheard a colleague at work talking to my supervisor asking if I was "Ok" and saying "she just got so thin - is she sick?" Now, this wasn't said to be mean or gosspiy...she actually sounded concerned...
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Replies
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What strikes me a little odd here is the thought of "I don't know if I'm slim enough yet". According to whose standards?
Do you feel well and are you happy and healthy? That's all that matters, really (granted, that won't work with a person who has an ED because they'll never be happy, but if you don't have an ED, then at some point you should be okay with your body).0 -
If you are worried about your health go to a dr to get checked out.
If it is your mindset that has you concerned, take some time of from dieting and maintain for a while. ( you can always diet more in a few months if you truly feel you want to lose more.)
Above all be kind to yourself, you have accomplished amazing things!!!
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I find that people give me the "too thin" comment even if I know I'm not "too" thin. Someone said that when I went "down to" 165 before I got pregnant with my second son...and I'm 5'1!! I think people have been used to seeing you one way, and now by comparison, you look thin. So they comment. But only you can say whether you're "too" thin.
If you lost the weight quickly - or if it seems quick to the next person - that person may automatically wonder whether you've been ill.
How do you feel? How do YOU think you look? I would base whether you go into maintenance on that, not on what other people have said. JMO. 0 -
never2bstopped wrote: »If you are worried about your health go to a dr to get checked out.
If it is your mindset that has you concerned, take some time of from dieting and maintain for a while. ( you can always diet more in a few months if you truly feel you want to lose more.)
Above all be kind to yourself, you have accomplished amazing things!!!
That's what I've been thinking...I think my mind and body need a break for a little bit
Thanks!!
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tracyannk28 wrote: »never2bstopped wrote: »If you are worried about your health go to a dr to get checked out.
If it is your mindset that has you concerned, take some time of from dieting and maintain for a while. ( you can always diet more in a few months if you truly feel you want to lose more.)
Above all be kind to yourself, you have accomplished amazing things!!!
That's what I've been thinking...I think my mind and body need a break for a little bit
Thanks!!
It does take time for your mind to see the true you in the mirror....I think this is called fat kid syndrome.
I think you are in the healthy range for your weight, but you also aren't close to the low end, so if you do chose to lose more it isn't dangerous.
For reference I am 5'10 and before my bulk got down to 142 lbs, and I plan on dropping to 140 this time around and this is still well within the healthy weight for my height.0 -
I find that people give me the "too thin" comment even if I know I'm not "too" thin. Someone said that when I went "down to" 165 before I got pregnant with my second son...and I'm 5'1!! I think people have been used to seeing you one way, and now by comparison, you look thin. So they comment. But only you can say whether you're "too" thin.
If you lost the weight quickly - or if it seems quick to the next person - that person may automatically wonder whether you've been ill.
How do you feel? How do YOU think you look? I would base whether you go into maintenance on that, not on what other people have said. JMO.
I think I look pretty decent compared to other women my age. How do I feel? Ummm- honestly I feel like I'm sick to death of weighing/measuring and logging all my food and would love more than anything to eat like a 'normal'person. I'd love to go to lunch with my friends and and not have to look at the restaurant website so I can pre-log my meal. I'd love a few cocktails and the weekend and not have to worry about removing those calories from my daily food intake. I'd love some extra ketchup on my veggie burger without thinking "OMG!! I didn't weigh it...what if I go over my calories!!??"
I'm not "too thin" but over the past 3 or 4 weeks, the weight I've lost is pretty much only upper body - so my face got pretty thin.0 -
I think you deserve a break
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What are your goals? Zig Zigler quote, " if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time". While weight is certainly a metric, it shouldn't be the only one. As an example, I want to be at 15% body fat, so I need to do certain things to achieve that. So, what is your goal? Find that, find your answer.0
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You should look at body recomposition. Eat at maintenance and lift heavy weights.0
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It may be that you still have a relatively high body fat % so you still have "squishy" areas which makes you think "too fat"? This happened to me, and I was unhappy and wanted to lose even more weight. I didn't realize that instead of losing more weight I should have been focused on losing the fat. Now I weigh more, but I have lower fat % and I'm happier now than I was when I was 15 pounds lighter.0
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prattiger65 wrote: »What are your goals? Zig Zigler quote, " if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time". While weight is certainly a metric, it shouldn't be the only one. As an example, I want to be at 15% body fat, so I need to do certain things to achieve that. So, what is your goal? Find that, find your answer.
My goal was to wear shorts in public this summer, be attractive to the opposite sex and find me a decent man to date.
Well, it's still too cold out to wear shorts, but I think I can pull it off. As far as meeting a nice guy? Nope - still can't pull that off but I realized I like being alone anyway 0 -
tracyannk28 wrote: »prattiger65 wrote: »What are your goals? Zig Zigler quote, " if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time". While weight is certainly a metric, it shouldn't be the only one. As an example, I want to be at 15% body fat, so I need to do certain things to achieve that. So, what is your goal? Find that, find your answer.
My goal was to wear shorts in public this summer, be attractive to the opposite sex and find me a decent man to date.
Well, it's still too cold out to wear shorts, but I think I can pull it off. As far as meeting a nice guy? Nope - still can't pull that off but I realized I like being alone anyway
You are plenty attractive, and 145 or 165 at 5'8 that is a healthy weight range.
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tracyannk28 wrote: »prattiger65 wrote: »What are your goals? Zig Zigler quote, " if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time". While weight is certainly a metric, it shouldn't be the only one. As an example, I want to be at 15% body fat, so I need to do certain things to achieve that. So, what is your goal? Find that, find your answer.
My goal was to wear shorts in public this summer, be attractive to the opposite sex and find me a decent man to date.
Well, it's still too cold out to wear shorts, but I think I can pull it off. As far as meeting a nice guy? Nope - still can't pull that off but I realized I like being alone anyway
You are plenty attractive, and 145 or 165 at 5'8 that is a healthy weight range.
awe!! Thank you
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Ha, I hear you about the datingtracyannk28 wrote: »prattiger65 wrote: »What are your goals? Zig Zigler quote, " if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time". While weight is certainly a metric, it shouldn't be the only one. As an example, I want to be at 15% body fat, so I need to do certain things to achieve that. So, what is your goal? Find that, find your answer.
My goal was to wear shorts in public this summer, be attractive to the opposite sex and find me a decent man to date.
Well, it's still too cold out to wear shorts, but I think I can pull it off. As far as meeting a nice guy? Nope - still can't pull that off but I realized I like being alone anyway
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Ha, I hear you about the datingtracyannk28 wrote: »prattiger65 wrote: »What are your goals? Zig Zigler quote, " if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time". While weight is certainly a metric, it shouldn't be the only one. As an example, I want to be at 15% body fat, so I need to do certain things to achieve that. So, what is your goal? Find that, find your answer.
My goal was to wear shorts in public this summer, be attractive to the opposite sex and find me a decent man to date.
Well, it's still too cold out to wear shorts, but I think I can pull it off. As far as meeting a nice guy? Nope - still can't pull that off but I realized I like being alone anyway
I realized that even if I looked like Kate Upton, I'd probably still be spending my Saturday nigths with Netflix!
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I will stop when my moobs become pecs.0
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You could go over to the fat2fit website and calculate whether your BMI falls into the healthy range. Do the most complicated calculation that takes measurements into account. The simple calculators will give you an unhealthy BMI when you have a lot of muscle, and that is in NO WAY unhealthy. Also, sometimes your weight will be "good" but you still have too high a percentage of fat.
Watch out for taking a break. Some people put all the weight that they lost right back on. I've done this in the past so am aiming for permanent change this time. I'll always have to consider and choose and plan; I'll never be one of those people who can eat "whatever", at least not more than once in awhile.0 -
Hehe!tracyannk28 wrote: »
Ha, I hear you about the datingtracyannk28 wrote: »prattiger65 wrote: »What are your goals? Zig Zigler quote, " if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time". While weight is certainly a metric, it shouldn't be the only one. As an example, I want to be at 15% body fat, so I need to do certain things to achieve that. So, what is your goal? Find that, find your answer.
My goal was to wear shorts in public this summer, be attractive to the opposite sex and find me a decent man to date.
Well, it's still too cold out to wear shorts, but I think I can pull it off. As far as meeting a nice guy? Nope - still can't pull that off but I realized I like being alone anyway
I realized that even if I looked like Kate Upton, I'd probably still be spending my Saturday nigths with Netflix!
I think we also have to remind ourselves that dating is about so much more than just looks (although they *are* important).
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2snakeswoman wrote: »You could go over to the fat2fit website and calculate whether your BMI falls into the healthy range. Do the most complicated calculation that takes measurements into account. The simple calculators will give you an unhealthy BMI when you have a lot of muscle, and that is in NO WAY unhealthy. Also, sometimes your weight will be "good" but you still have too high a percentage of fat.
Watch out for taking a break. Some people put all the weight that they lost right back on. I've done this in the past so am aiming for permanent change this time. I'll always have to consider and choose and plan; I'll never be one of those people who can eat "whatever", at least not more than once in awhile.
I don't think it's possible to put on 65 pounds in 2 weeks...
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tracyannk28 wrote: »prattiger65 wrote: »What are your goals? Zig Zigler quote, " if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time". While weight is certainly a metric, it shouldn't be the only one. As an example, I want to be at 15% body fat, so I need to do certain things to achieve that. So, what is your goal? Find that, find your answer.
My goal was to wear shorts in public this summer, be attractive to the opposite sex and find me a decent man to date.
Well, it's still too cold out to wear shorts, but I think I can pull it off. As far as meeting a nice guy? Nope - still can't pull that off but I realized I like being alone anyway
If that is your goal, stop now because you reached it. I would add this, would you consider weight lifting? You could do what was advised above, do a recomp. That means eating at or slightly above maintenance and you basically trade fat for muscle. (that is an overly simplistic description). Honestly, I looked at your pictures and you look great, lifting and the change it would make, not only in your physique, but also how you feel about yourself could be worthwhile. Who knows, you might just find that man you are looking for at the gym.0 -
My coworkers, well the two that have noticed at any rate, immediately assumed some terrible fate had befallen me. Almost like deliberately trying to lose weight is anathema to them. Or that I spend most of my work day in stealth mode so they only see me but rarely. Twas baffling, I agree.0
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prattiger65 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »prattiger65 wrote: »What are your goals? Zig Zigler quote, " if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time". While weight is certainly a metric, it shouldn't be the only one. As an example, I want to be at 15% body fat, so I need to do certain things to achieve that. So, what is your goal? Find that, find your answer.
My goal was to wear shorts in public this summer, be attractive to the opposite sex and find me a decent man to date.
Well, it's still too cold out to wear shorts, but I think I can pull it off. As far as meeting a nice guy? Nope - still can't pull that off but I realized I like being alone anyway
If that is your goal, stop now because you reached it. I would add this, would you consider weight lifting? You could do what was advised above, do a recomp. That means eating at or slightly above maintenance and you basically trade fat for muscle. (that is an overly simplistic description). Honestly, I looked at your pictures and you look great, lifting and the change it would make, not only in your physique, but also how you feel about yourself could be worthwhile. Who knows, you might just find that man you are looking for at the gym.
I didn't think there was anything wrong with my pysique?
No - I'm not going to lift (I don't even belong to a gym) but I will continue my Pilates 6x a week
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I have a friend who is a Beach Body coach... she keeps losing weight. She's also bulking up, but she keeps saying she needs to lose another 5-10 pounds. I worry about her. I understand where your co-worker is coming from.
However, it sounds like YOU want to go into maintenance. If you are happy with where you're at, then be happy!! Don't let anyone else determine what your happy weight is. 0 -
I have a friend who is a Beach Body coach... she keeps losing weight. She's also bulking up, but she keeps saying she needs to lose another 5-10 pounds. I worry about her. I understand where your co-worker is coming from.
However, it sounds like YOU want to go into maintenance. If you are happy with where you're at, then be happy!! Don't let anyone else determine what your happy weight is.
I think mentally I need the break...I feel like this whole thing is taking up too much space in my head
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tracyannk28 wrote: »I think I look pretty decent compared to other women my age. How do I feel? Ummm- honestly I feel like I'm sick to death of weighing/measuring and logging all my food and would love more than anything to eat like a 'normal'person. I'd love to go to lunch with my friends and and not have to look at the restaurant website so I can pre-log my meal. I'd love a few cocktails and the weekend and not have to worry about removing those calories from my daily food intake. I'd love some extra ketchup on my veggie burger without thinking "OMG!! I didn't weigh it...what if I go over my calories!!??"
I'm not "too thin" but over the past 3 or 4 weeks, the weight I've lost is pretty much only upper body - so my face got pretty thin.
Just remember, if you go back to normal eating you may gain. Have more fun, but be aware of what and how much you are eating. You will no longer eat at a deficit, but it does not give you carte blanche to over eat.
That said, I am very happy for you. You have lost and are now ready for maintenance.
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So... I'm a guy.... so I'm not sure if my experience is valuable to you, but I just went through this exact same thing.
I hit 100lbs lost, then thought "I bet I can get under 200". Then I hit 195 and thought "I bet I can get under 190".... this went on and on until I found myself seriously entertaining the thought of going down to 175lbs. I knew I could get there, but I had no idea if it would make me any happier.
So I stopped.
I just kind of woke up one day and said "where does this end"? I had to shift my mindset away from the number on the scale and into the framework of focusing on my fitness and overall health and happiness. It wasn't easy. I actually hired a professional nutrition and fitness trainer who helped me see that a shift in priorities was going to be beneficial in the long term and that I could, in fact, stop chasing scale weight. I'm not sure I would have been any happier if I had lost another 10lbs or 15 or whatever.
So I'm sitting at 185 right now (consistently) - eating more, working out smarter and with better goals in mind, and am really feeling positive about what this next year holds. It wasn't easy though.0 -
jennifershoo wrote: »You should look at body recomposition. Eat at maintenance and lift heavy weights.
That's a really good call and where I'm heading at the moment. Still 3lbs to lose until I'm at my goal but then want to try maintenance and lifting for a while to see what happens...
I know that otherwise as I'm feeling satisfied with losing I'll keep plugging away at that, so need a new goal.
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So... I'm a guy.... so I'm not sure if my experience is valuable to you, but I just went through this exact same thing.
I hit 100lbs lost, then thought "I bet I can get under 200". Then I hit 195 and thought "I bet I can get under 190".... this went on and on until I found myself seriously entertaining the thought of going down to 175lbs. I knew I could get there, but I had no idea if it would make me any happier.
So I stopped.
I just kind of woke up one day and said "where does this end"? I had to shift my mindset away from the number on the scale and into the framework of focusing on my fitness and overall health and happiness. It wasn't easy. I actually hired a professional nutrition and fitness trainer who helped me see that a shift in priorities was going to be beneficial in the long term and that I could, in fact, stop chasing scale weight. I'm not sure I would have been any happier if I had lost another 10lbs or 15 or whatever.
So I'm sitting at 185 right now (consistently) - eating more, working out smarter and with better goals in mind, and am really feeling positive about what this next year holds. It wasn't easy though.
OMG! This is exactly how I feel! You'd think that I'd be all proud for losing this weight, but instead I keep thinking that losing 5 or 10 or 15 more pounds would make me happier, but it doesn't. I'm no happier now then I was when I was 165. So yeah - where does it stop? I feel like I need to jump off the train before it derails...
I'd like to add (gulp) that was anorexic in my 20's and have been in recovery since 2001. Sometimes I feel like MFP is kinda feeding my demon.
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i'll never be done0
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tracyannk28 wrote: »I'm 5'8 and had an original goal weight of 165, but when I got there I knew I could do better. When I dropped 5 more pounds, I decided to shoot for 155...and so on and so on. So now I'm 143 and I just...I don't know if I'm slim emough yet. Which makes me think I should probably stop and go into maintenance, but part of me thinks I can go harder and drop more and the whole thing is making me very confused.
So, how do you know when you really are done losing?
I'm kinda asking because I overheard a colleague at work talking to my supervisor asking if I was "Ok" and saying "she just got so thin - is she sick?" Now, this wasn't said to be mean or gosspiy...she actually sounded concerned...
I'm 5'8 and my goal was 165, now I'm 163 and trying for maintenance with half an eye thinking another 10lbs and then a weight range of 155-165 would be fine.
Can you stop now and sort out fitness goals instead ...personally I want to do pull-ups but I'm not strong enough to lift my bodyweight like that yet
Finding maintenance is tricky0
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