Gym help: Yes or No?

wilsoncl6

I'm torn here. I see an older guy (say late 50's) that goes to my gym every day in the early morning that does the same exercises that are either close to useless (since no exercise is completely useless) or a waste of time. For example:

1) Using the Smith machine with the bar already above his head and slightly pressing up (maybe half an inch) for a bunch of reps.
2) Hanging from the pull up bar and slightly pulling up (again for the obligatory half an inch) while he's bringing his knees up imitating a somewhat pull up.

All while having this look of utter exertion on his face. Afterwards, he wanders around the workout area for about 5 minutes and then does some other futile exercise. The question is, at what point is it OK to try and help or should I not give any advice at all and leave the guy alone? I know I go to the gym to achieve a goal and want everyone there to be successful. I generally keep to myself as I'm more focused on what I'm there for and what I need to do but like to help those that need it, but not if they don't want it.

Should I try to help or should I just ignore the guy and leave him to his own devices?

jam52866

I would offer suggestions. I wouldn't be offended if someone knowledgeable approached me to offer suggestions to help me.

lbetancourt

you are kind. ask if he would like suggestions. but, if he tells you to bugger off..

AllanMisner

I wouldn’t immediately jump into advice, but would rather strike up a conversation and ask what that particular exercise is for. He may admit he has no clue, which would be your opening to discuss things like full range of motion, compound movements, etc.

I once worked out at a YMCA. There was a guy who was probably 55 years old. He’d do bench press every day and could go really heavy (like 350 - 375 for reps). His legs were thinner than my arms. I saw someone say something to him about it one day, and it did not go over well.

Between curse words, I heard ‘bad knees’, ‘training for over 40 years’, etc.

neaneacc

I too wonder what exactly is the correct gym etiquette for these situations. I personally don't mind helpful advice at the gym, and have been given some excellent workout tips from some of the guys there. I think that if it is offered respectfully as constructive criticism it should be fine.
In turn, what is your advice when I see young men (probably 16 to 20 yr old) doing obviously dangerous exercises? I struggle with this as the mother in me wants to slap some sense into them at their carelessness, but the athlete in me gets that they want to get stronger. I have seen as least two failed bench press attempts with no spotters, several piss poor attempts at power cleans, and deadlifts that make my back ache due to poor form. I try to keep most of my thoughts to myself, but I just know one day someone's going to need an EMT to haul them out of the gym. What do you recommend?

wilsoncl6

AllanMisner wrote: »

I wouldn’t immediately jump into advice, but would rather strike up a conversation and ask what that particular exercise is for. He may admit he has no clue, which would be your opening to discuss things like full range of motion, compound movements, etc.

I once worked out at a YMCA. There was a guy who was probably 55 years old. He’d do bench press every day and could go really heavy (like 350 - 375 for reps). His legs were thinner than my arms. I saw someone say something to him about it one day, and it did not go over well.

Between curse words, I heard ‘bad knees’, ‘training for over 40 years’, etc.

Yup, and that's what I'm trying to avoid. I like the conversation approach since I see him there every morning and we've never really exchanged more than a good morning.

wilsoncl6

neaneacc wrote: »

I too wonder what exactly is the correct gym etiquette for these situations. I personally don't mind helpful advice at the gym, and have been given some excellent workout tips from some of the guys there. I think that if it is offered respectfully as constructive criticism it should be fine.
In turn, what is your advice when I see young men (probably 16 to 20 yr old) doing obviously dangerous exercises? I struggle with this as the mother in me wants to slap some sense into them at their carelessness, but the athlete in me gets that they want to get stronger. I have seen as least two failed bench press attempts with no spotters, several piss poor attempts at power cleans, and deadlifts that make my back ache due to poor form. I try to keep most of my thoughts to myself, but I just know one day someone's going to need an EMT to haul them out of the gym. What do you recommend?

If you try to help, as a woman, you'll either get one of two responses from young guys: 1. You have no idea what you're talking about because you're a woman or 2. Thanks for talking to me and I'll listen to what you have to see and immediately blow you off the moment you walk away. Not that you shouldn't try, but I wouldn't expect much. Who knows though, I may be generalizing and you may save a herniated disk or two. Many young guys just think it's all about how much weight you can throw up when proper form and technique are so much more important. It might take an injury or two to fully understand that. You may be better off just forming your help in questions: That looks pretty tough, how much focus do you usually put on form? Where'd you learn your technique? That way it doesn't seem like you're advising but making them feel like their helping you.

ShibaEars

It sounds like his exercises are useless, but not harmful. You could try to start up a conversation, like mentioned above but otherwise I would just leave him be.

As for seeing someone doing something dangerous & stupid, I don't think I'd personally approach them, but I might mention it to staff for them to deal with.

mike_bold

Pretty tough to pull off without coming across as a know all. I would leave to the gym staff.

DopeItUp

There's almost no way to do it. Best case scenario is be friendly him and maybe he'll ask for help at some point or at least be open to the idea.

IamUndrCnstruction

As one who is just starting out in the gym, I sometimes wish some one WOULD come offer advice. I feel a little intimidated to ask anyone (who wants to bother someone when they are in their groove, not me!) and I feel silly for asking as I am no young kid. I don't do anything dangerous but some times I feel like I wander a bit LOL. Just the other side of the coin here...

jemhh

I wouldn't say anything. I always figure that people can ask for help or search it out another way if they truly want it. Sometimes I do think "oh that person could be doing X and it would be much more effective" but it's not my place so I just mmob.

lishie_rebooted

Its not going to injure him or others so I'd leave it be.

Sam_I_Am77

lishie_rebooted wrote: »

Its not going to injure him or others so I'd leave it be.

^

karen_fitzgibbon

Why not mention it to one of the staff members?

LKArgh

Unless someone is doing something clearly dangerous, or seems new and confused, giving advice is not a good idea. To give you a simple example, my current routine will seem a bit weird or at least not that effective to anyone experience in lifting. Truth is that I am recovering from an injury which dictates what I can do, but since it is not visible, you could not figure out why I am doing things this way and could easily assume I am afraid of compound lifts or that I do not know what a proper leg workout looks like.

hesn92

I would leave him alone.

Although I'm not sure how I would react if someone gave me advice at the gym. I think I've only gotten random advice from a stranger once and I think I just said "ok, thanks"

AllanMisner

IamUndrCnstruction wrote: »

As one who is just starting out in the gym, I sometimes wish some one WOULD come offer advice. I feel a little intimidated to ask anyone (who wants to bother someone when they are in their groove, not me!) and I feel silly for asking as I am no young kid. I don't do anything dangerous but some times I feel like I wander a bit LOL. Just the other side of the coin here...

Actually, if you see someone who seems to know what they’re doing, you’d be paying them a big complement by asking for a little advice and/or a spot. Most people will be willing to spend a few minutes with you.

sijomial

What not to do....

When you see a full grown man using 1kg dumbbells in the weirdest and most restrictive isolation exercises possible ask him if he is rehabbing from an injury.

Because when the answer comes back as "no" you realise you have put your foot right in your molars. Oops!

Agree with conversation first and offer advice only if they want it. If they are doing something potentially harmful (as opposed to a waste of time) then tip off the PTs.

FatMoojor

bite the bullet and speak to him. He may well be doing what he is doing because it's under direction from his doctor or a physio. Which is great, he is doing what he should be and isn't wasting his time and his money for no reason.
The other option being that he thinks this is useful and is wasting time and money and getting nothing from it.

I had some dude come up to me when I was deadlifting and my form wasn't any good, even though I had been shown by a "trainer". He helped me out with that and offered to meet up one morning if I wanted and to go through some of the core lifts deadlift, bench press, military press and squat just to help me with form on those.

Was very useful and he was really polite and it helped me alot. The only thing to think about is how to approach the guy.

lishie_rebooted

karen_fitzgibbon wrote: »

Why not mention it to one of the staff members?

Why?
Just because you think his routine is weird, pointless, ineffective, etc, doesn't mean it is.
He isn't a danger to himself or anyone around him so there isn't anything the staff can do

4legsRbetterthan2

I would try talking to him first too, just chit chat, and get to know him first. I see where you are coming from but I also have to wonder if maybe there is a reason he has the routine he does.

Sued0nim

sijomial wrote: »

What not to do....

When you see a full grown man using 1kg dumbbells in the weirdest and most restrictive isolation exercises possible ask him if he is rehabbing from an injury.

Because when the answer comes back as "no" you realise you have put your foot right in your molars. Oops!

Agree with conversation first and offer advice only if they want it. If they are doing something potentially harmful (as opposed to a waste of time) then tip off the PTs.

I saw a 1kg dumbbell for the first time ever yesterday, just sitting on the floor between 2 x 10Kg weights

I was a little like "ooo look at the cute little thing"

it was a moment

lishie_rebooted

rabbitjb wrote: »

sijomial wrote: »

What not to do....

When you see a full grown man using 1kg dumbbells in the weirdest and most restrictive isolation exercises possible ask him if he is rehabbing from an injury.

Because when the answer comes back as "no" you realise you have put your foot right in your molars. Oops!

Agree with conversation first and offer advice only if they want it. If they are doing something potentially harmful (as opposed to a waste of time) then tip off the PTs.

I saw a 1kg dumbbell for the first time ever yesterday, just sitting on the floor between 2 x 10Kg weights

I was a little like "ooo look at the cute little thing"

it was a moment

I'm not sure I've ever seen a 1kg (2.2lbs) dumbbell at a commercial gym.
I *might* have seen 3lbs.
I saw & used the smaller weights at physical therapy but for my regular, lifting, nope.

DjinnMarie

I've learned to keep my mouth shut, even if somebody is doing something dangerous. Men get defensive when women give them workout advice, and women get catty and think I'm giving them advice on how to get "bulky".

999tigger

Interesting thread and a topic ive nearly posted about several times. You take your chances because some people are more receptive than others. People get very defensive, even though your intentions may be 100% altruistic. maybe build some rapport or at least tread lightly and dont pish it unless they welcome the advice.

99.999% I leave people to do their own thing as its not worth the hassle. I do get concerned if I see someone doing something dangerous or is going to result in an injury.

Keladelphia

I definitely agree with what a lot of people have said that striking up a casual conversation first and feeling it out before dishing out advice is a good approach. That being said I would have killed for someone to provide me with a little workout insight when I first started going to the gym.

alpine1994

lishie_rebooted wrote: »

rabbitjb wrote: »

sijomial wrote: »

What not to do....

When you see a full grown man using 1kg dumbbells in the weirdest and most restrictive isolation exercises possible ask him if he is rehabbing from an injury.

Because when the answer comes back as "no" you realise you have put your foot right in your molars. Oops!

Agree with conversation first and offer advice only if they want it. If they are doing something potentially harmful (as opposed to a waste of time) then tip off the PTs.

I saw a 1kg dumbbell for the first time ever yesterday, just sitting on the floor between 2 x 10Kg weights

I was a little like "ooo look at the cute little thing"

it was a moment

I'm not sure I've ever seen a 1kg (2.2lbs) dumbbell at a commercial gym.
I *might* have seen 3lbs.
I saw & used the smaller weights at physical therapy but for my regular, lifting, nope.

My great-grandmother had 1lb bright pink dumbbells that she would carry on her walks (at 98 years old!). She wrote her name in black sharpie on both of them. I kept them when she died so I have a special place in my heart for little dumbbells.

snowflake930

As an "older" (63) person, I go to the gym everyday and do my own thing, which is 100% more than I was doing 3 years ago. For me, any exercising, is a huge improvement. I would not be offended if someone approached me (so far no one has) with advice.

It is admirable that you are willing to offer the advice to help someone. Go for it. I would be grateful for any tips or pointers. I am reluctant to interrupt anyone else's workout, so I would accept any help.

TheBigFb

Id mind my own business and leave the man alone. Whats it too you what he does at the gym?

Are you a gym employee or something?

callsitlikeiseeit

I agree with the conversation/ loosely becoming ' gym friends' first. you also might learn if theres a reason hes doing i the way he is.

personally, i almost wish someone would come up on the machines and offer advice to me, as i dont want to ask and bother/interrupt anyone.