Anxiety When Eating w/Groups

kelseymallen

Every Thursday night, we have a competition with employees and customers at one of our businesses. Afterward, we all go out to dinner. I used to really enjoy it until I started trying to make better food choices and lose weight. Last night, I suggested a restaurant that I know has healthy options but everyone said they didn't want to wait for half an hour to be seated there. So I was outvoted and we ended up going to a restaurant which serves lots of pasta, white bread, fatty sandwich meats, etc. I did my best to find the healthiest option I could and ended up with a turkey sub with no cheese, no oil, no mayo. It was the one thing on the menu that would best fit my calories and macros, and I didn't even kind of want to eat it. I felt like I "wasted" calories on food I didn't want to eat. Meanwhile, everyone else at the table was enjoying their supreme pizzas, spaghetti, breadsticks, and portofino. I just ended up pissed off, resentful, and really anxious.

So I'm wondering. How do you deal with the feeling resentful, angry, deprived, or anxious in group eating situations?

1977gonzo852

Not sure really, just wanted to express sympathy. We had a work do shortly after I started on this life change and it was so hard to be good and eat sensibly with no starter or pudding whilst everyone else was pigging out. I actually hate eating out now.

ElizabethKalmbach

I usually plan ahead to eat out by having reduced calorie meals that morning, and adding a few extra minutes to my cardio to account for what I WANT to eat. I look at the menu in advance sometimes and plan my day ahead so that I can look forward to eating whatever I wanted from the menu without any anxiety about going over when I do so.

hezemakiah

This happens to me once in a while. For example, last night my husband wanted to go to Carls Jr. I've figured out the best thing for me to do when I go there. I get a single all-natural burger with cheese in a lettuce wrap instead of a bun and no sauce. (takes away almost half the calories!) I get to enjoy a "burger" and not be resentful of what my husband gets. It satisfies me and I still feel like I get a little cheat. There are ways to enjoy going out. I LOVE pizza. It is hard to go to a pizza place and not order pizza, or eat 1/4 of a slice and stop. I understand. I figure you just have to find joy in the company at dinner meanwhile trying to see yourself with the weight lost in your mind. I guess it's mind over matter. Not easy! Best of luck to you!

dawnmcneil10

How about eating a little leaner on Thursdays so that dining out isn't as much of a stressful moment, maybe get in a good workout and then order a meal you can easily take home half of. Pizza isn't a horrible option, go for a thin crust and load it up with fresh veggies and lean meats. Another option is go for a salad, it's an easy way to get in a couple servings of vegetables and you can almost always get a side order of meatballs, chicken and so on. Don't be afraid to ask the staff if there are alternative options.

searsvls

I feel your pain. I hate that I end up resenting people for making me go somewhere like that. You look at them as if they are sabotaging your health. We both know that all they are doing is wanting you to join in on the fun. You just have to remember that. Is it something that you can skip out on every now and then? Would you be out of the loop if you stop going? I wish I had some advice for you but I guess that I am writing this to let you know that you are definitely not alone.

kelseymallen

ElizabethKalmbach,

Thanks for your advice. I will start working more cardio into my gym schedule for Thursdays. One more question for you: If you aren't sure which restaurant you'll be going to, do you have a set amount of calories you would try to allow for dinner just to be safe?

MonaLisaLianne

I agree - feeling like you've "wasted" precious calories on crap food is infuriating! If there's a food you feel is "worth it" then I'd say go for it, and just eat a reasonable portion. I go for my all-time favorite "Trenton Tomato Pie" about every 6 weeks or so with friends. I know it's going to be 1000 calories or so, but I'm fine with that because IT'S WORTH IT. You need to find food on the menu that's worth the sacrifice IMO The thought of having to eat some nasty, bland, cheeseless, turkey sub just makes me sad...

xbluehorusx

I have food allergies so this would happen to me quite often. What I've done is that I try to find out where we are going out ahead of time and I would see if I can find a menu and plan out my meal that way. If there was nothing suitable on the menu, I would end up not going. Ditching isn't ideal, but it is better for me because I end up not getting sick and/or I stay true to my diet and I end up not resenting the people and situation. I used to go out with people regardless of whether or not I could eat at that place and I would be miserable because all I could do was drink water and it just wasn't any fun. Also, I try to be under my goals on Thursdays and Saturdays so that if I go over my dietary goals on Friday it isn't a waste or a big deal.

RavenLibra

Plan it out... and expand the view you have of your eating habits... rather than a daily calorie goal... stretch it out to a weekly calorie goal... plan your activities and your menu in advance so that you don't pressure yourself to find "skinny on a menu" if it's a weekly one off... add an extra 10 minutes to your cardio everyday... "save" your exercise calories for that day... remember this is about exchanging bad habits for sustainable good habits... and one of those habits.. one of those good habits... should be allowing yourself to indulge with family and friends... YOU are going to get there... be a little more forgiving with yourself. I'd wish you luck... BUT you don't need it... YOU have tenacity on your side

kelseymallen

Thanks to everyone for the advice. I'll put all your ideas to some good use when next Thursday comes! :-)