Weight Loss and Baby Loss

gentryatkinson

My journey is not over but I still wanted to post this in the Success Stories category. I guess I have been overweight my entire life. When I was younger (middle school and high school) I thought I was very overweight, but looking back now I think I was just slightly overweight. But as an adult I really gained a lot.

In January 2012 I decided to get it together. I somehow found MFP and it changed my entire life. My starting weight was 208. By September 2012 I was down to 148. I felt awesome. During this time period my husband and I were also trying to get pregnant with a second child. We already had one little boy. In May 2012 I found out I was pregnant, but at my first Dr. appointment they told me it was a Blighted Ovum. Which means there is a gestational sac but no fetus inside. I had to take pills that caused my body to miscarry. I was very sad and disappointed but I still kept on with my weight loss.

As soon as I could, we started trying to pregnant again and I actually got pregnant right away. We found out we were having a girl and we were so excited. My due date was June 27, 2013. On June 16th (Father's Day) I didn't feel right and I couldn't remember the last time I felt my baby girl move. The next morning I was given the devastating news that there was no longer a heartbeat. So on June 17th at 38 1/2 weeks pregnant I gave birth to a perfect and beautiful still born baby girl we named Jozie. To say this is the worst thing that can happen to someone is an understatement. If you have not lost a child you will just never know.

With how terrible this experience was my husband and I both wanted to start trying for another child as soon as I could. So in September 2013 we started trying again. 10 months later I found out I was pregnant. But unfortunately at 7 weeks, I miscarried. Again we started trying as soon as we could. I would have actually been due in about 2 weeks had we not miscarried.
Each month I find out I'm not pregnant has been agonizing. Secondary infertility has added an entire new level of grief on top of grieving over my daughter.

In November 2014 I decided to get it together again. I thought maybe if I am losing weight then it won't be so devastating every month I'm not pregnant. And I was right! Don't get me wrong, I still get really sad and angry every month, but it isn't the end of the world for me anymore like it used to be. Since then I have lost about 25 lbs. My current weight is 172.

I write this in hopes that I can reach out to other baby loss mamas (and daddies) who need any help or support. You are not alone!

suruda

I have not experienced the losses you have, but I wanted to say how admirable it is that you keep on taking care of your self and trying to grow your family. so much respect for that! Take care and here's hoping you are all blessed soon!

gentryatkinson

Here are my stats:
Height: 5'4
SW: 208
CW: 172
GW: 135

Weight 208+


Around 170


148


Back up to about 190


And today at 172

gentryatkinson

Thank you suruda.

JenniferInCt

Thank you for sharing your story. I dont have kids yet, but ive always wanted them and i just turned 30. Turns out its not as easy as everyone makes it look. Cherish your little boy. My thoughts are with you. I admire your strength and it sounds like youve got a great man in your life.

keishakylejohnson

Thanks for sharing. Right now I am going through sometime very similar at the moment. I don't currently have any chidlren, but I miscarried in July 2014 and right now having complications and possible blighted ovum. so your story hits home with me, thanks so much for sharing with us! You are doing amazing and look absolutely gorgeous!!

mhulgan

Thank you for being brave and sharing your story! I am so sorry about the tough road you have been on. I also decided to get serious about weight loss after two miscarriages. You are not alone, and I wish you all the best!

Laviegurl25

Losses are devastating. Good for you for picking yourself up again. My heart breaks for you and your losses. But am truely inspired by your motivation and commitment. You look great!

kerrifair

Oh my. I am so sorry. I have lost 3 babies... my first was at 35w3d. I feel your pain and sorrow. I am sending you a friend request. Hugs!

Liftng4Lis

I am so sorry for your loss. You've done an amazing job-great commitment!

gentryatkinson

Thanks everyone. It's hard to put yourself out there. Hugs to all who have lost a baby, no matter how far along. And hugs to those waiting to feel that baby inside you.

Tubbs216

Congratulations on all you've achieved. I'm so sorry for your heartbreak but admire your resilience. The same goes for the others on this thread who have experienced loss, too.

lindsayh87

Wow how brave, strong and beautiful you are. So sorry for your losses. I too have an angel baby and she inspires me to keep going for the two kiddos I have here with me. Be strong and healthy for that little man of yours! Many prayers for your family, God bless!

UrnAsh_

Thank you for sharing. You look great in your now pic

momamia3

Hi. I have 2 healthy boys 8 and 6 yrs.. and had one ectopic pregnancy (3 yrs ago) that was very sad and scary for me.. I could only imagine what you went thru.... im so sorry for your loss... .. i was working on my weight before all this .....After the ectopic I gained weight (30lbs) and had a hard time getting motivated to do anything... so now I am working hard to get my health back under control.... since Feb 1 2015. I have lost 12 lbs .and not stoping until I get to a goal weight. ... a healthy happy me is a happy healthy mom for my boys....... .

kimberlydgarcia

I am sorry for your loss. It is very hard, I had a son pass away in 2005. You never fully get over it but healing can happen! It sounds like you are doing a good job of taking care of yourself for you & your family!

cjwalker81

I could not leave this post without commenting. You are a very brave woman, I am sure mostly because you have to be. I had one early loss and then 2 years of fertility treatments, and 2 more years of just "not getting pregnant" until I was finally pregnant with my second child. I cannot imagine the pain you have (and continue) to endure. I just want to say I am very proud of you for taking control of something you CAN control...that was my focus when I found MFP, I wanted to shift away from fertility and focus on getting healthy. I haven't lost much to speak of but I haven't totally given up yet either.

I pray that if you are still wanting another child that you are blessed in Gods time.

nzoma

Great!! I have a 4month old baby and its been a disaster trying to loose weight! Keep it up

katiebrew

Thank you for your post.. I can sympathize with the hurt and anger of each month passing. I lost two pregnancies before getting pregnant with my son (born Sept. 2013). Although they were both early losses, it hurt and I can only imagine the immense pain and sorrow your family had to navigate with the loss of Jozie and your other angel babies. I will keep you in my thoughts and will be praying for your rainbow baby to soon find his or her way to you.

gentryatkinson

Thank you thank you to all of your comments. You are all so kind and loving with your words. Much love to all of you. I hope I have helped even one person feel like they aren't alone.

jenwen1

Feel so bad for your loss. I hope things work out for you. Well done on your commitment to eating healthy. That's some journey

sengalissa

gentryatkinson wrote: »

My journey is not over but I still wanted to post this in the Success Stories category. I guess I have been overweight my entire life. When I was younger (middle school and high school) I thought I was very overweight, but looking back now I think I was just slightly overweight. But as an adult I really gained a lot.

In January 2012 I decided to get it together. I somehow found MFP and it changed my entire life. My starting weight was 208. By September 2012 I was down to 148. I felt awesome. During this time period my husband and I were also trying to get pregnant with a second child. We already had one little boy. In May 2012 I found out I was pregnant, but at my first Dr. appointment they told me it was a Blighted Ovum. Which means there is a gestational sac but no fetus inside. I had to take pills that caused my body to miscarry. I was very sad and disappointed but I still kept on with my weight loss.

As soon as I could, we started trying to pregnant again and I actually got pregnant right away. We found out we were having a girl and we were so excited. My due date was June 27, 2013. On June 16th (Father's Day) I didn't feel right and I couldn't remember the last time I felt my baby girl move. The next morning I was given the devastating news that there was no longer a heartbeat. So on June 17th at 38 1/2 weeks pregnant I gave birth to a perfect and beautiful still born baby girl we named Jozie. To say this is the worst thing that can happen to someone is an understatement. If you have not lost a child you will just never know.

With how terrible this experience was my husband and I both wanted to start trying for another child as soon as I could. So in September 2013 we started trying again. 10 months later I found out I was pregnant. But unfortunately at 7 weeks, I miscarried. Again we started trying as soon as we could. I would have actually been due in about 2 weeks had we not miscarried.
Each month I find out I'm not pregnant has been agonizing. Secondary infertility has added an entire new level of grief on top of grieving over my daughter.

In November 2014 I decided to get it together again. I thought maybe if I am losing weight then it won't be so devastating every month I'm not pregnant. And I was right! Don't get me wrong, I still get really sad and angry every month, but it isn't the end of the world for me anymore like it used to be. Since then I have lost about 25 lbs. My current weight is 172.

I write this in hopes that I can reach out to other baby loss mamas (and daddies) who need any help or support. You are not alone!

Hi
I lost a boy at 40 weeks pregnant, same story...
I gained a lot after, and in the following pregnancy too. Then I lost it all after. I have since had three more babies, all healthy and fine and I have lost all the weight between each and all the pregnancies.
Bottomline: there can be a happy end!! And I wish you all the best to experience your happy one after all the darkness.

loxottica

I'm sorry for your loss... I also had 2 miscarriages. My first one was at 12 weeks then my second one was at 11 weeks and that one was a Blighten Ovum. I gained a lot of weight with both pregnancies and going through a terrible depression because of the losses. I finally did get pregnant again and had my beautiful rainbow baby I am now focused fully to my mental well being as I'm battling post partum depression and I'm also fighting the bulge! I have to say I'm winning both battles. Weight loss has been slow but its still a loss !

Hugs to you and all the ladies that have had miscarriages.

justjack18

gentryatkinson wrote: »

Here are my stats:
Height: 5'4
SW: 208
CW: 172
GW: 135

Weight 208+


Around 170


148


Back up to about 190


And today at 172

I had two miscarriages back to back in 2011/2012 I now have a happy healthy 2 year old boy. Have you had your theories levels checked? That's what caused my miscarriages. It will happen again for you! Friend me if you want and we can motivate each other!!!!!

jokamaiale

You look beautiful! I wish you much luck and happiness ahead. I am sorry for your loss.

debneeds2beskinny

Feeling good about yourself is so important, it will help you balance your life, in good times and bad. I'm so sorry you experienced the losses that you have, I also had several and it is devastating. BUT - I managed to keep trying and had two other healthy children, so don't give up, enjoy your life and cherish what you have.

Soybeaner

Hugs mama. I have been pregnant 6 times and have 2 little girls. I understand the devastation of repeated losses. The heart break. The overwhelming sadness. My youngest is 10 months old and I am currently trying to lose the baby weight again. Slowly but surely it is coming off!

I posted this just before I got pregnant with my youngest daughter.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1043538

crazygooselady

Thank you for sharing. What you have gone through is so hard...but I am glad you have had the courage to share as it happens to more women than will admit. Keep staying healthy....whatever will happen will happen and at some point it will all work out for the best for you and your family.

Xpecta

Let me first say, wow. You're beautiful! Just stunning! Secondly, I'm so absolutely sorry to read your story. What a tragedy. I've had 3 miscarriages myself. Those are hard enough, I can't even imagine having a stillborn. I've also struggled with secondary infertility. It took two years to get pregnant with my daughter. I still remember the devastating anger and heartbreak every month when you don't get a positive. I hope and pray the best for you and your husband! Blessings to you! You've come so far!

gentryatkinson

Once again thank you all for your beautiful words. You have no idea how it lifts my spirits. Love to all.

rayw89

You are amazing.