Stuck in the middle with Myself...

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Man, here I am again, giving it another try... I was almost 100lbs lighter when I first started MFP, but something went very very wrong. I was going to the gym, eating pretty stable meals; something went horribly wrong. I was active, and I cared about my health; something went terribly wrong. I gave up. I started convincing myself that "this is just this once, so," and, "well, since I already had this, I might as well," worse: "I'll go tomorrow." I've developed a relationship with food stronger than my bond with my fiancee, and that is a scary thing. I'm tired all the time, I find excuses to eat badly and binge, and I cheat on logging my food at night so I don't have to choke down the guilt. What happened to me? When did I lose my Miss Positivity attitude from before? I was always supportive and excited about making the right choices to get my health and weight where it needed to be... Now, I'm just a shell, validating every bad decision, and hiding from good ones. I've been eating healthier for 4 days now, and I'm getting back into the groove. I've even met with a nutritionist to get myself on a plan to get better... Now, I'm asking for your help. I hate exercising. I hate going to the gym by myself, and I won't do it at home in front of my fiance. I'll work out with him at the gym, but he has no interest in going. He doesn't care that he now has a beer belly and is chubby. He doesn't care that I've put on some weight (90 lbs). I want to be better for me, but where is the motivation that I had before? I'm stuck here, in the middle of stress and depression, and I don't have a bus ticket out... HELP!

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  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    How about starting with some walks just to get out of the habit of not doing anything? That could definitely be enough to help you feel better and get that positivity ball rolling again. Or maybe join a boot camp class for a month? I did that for awhile, it was a good way for me to kick-start my fitness and it was social and got me into different environments. Check Groupon if they're too expensive :)