Need support in motivation

Tavasztundere

It is 31 days since I started.

My idea was to start with exercise and later some cut on food.
I realized I need visible results, otherwise I would give up. So I set the calorie goal to 1000. I overate the 1000kcal almost every day. Then I set it to 1300kcal, and it is much better, I don't feel like starving, but if I overeat I do some exercise.
After a month the result is -4kg, but nothing can be seen. My trousers or skirts are not loose, nobody (not even me) sees any difference.

The only difference is that earlier I hated myself for being fat, now I hate myself for not making the change. At sad times I recall 2002, when in one month I lost 25kg without any diet, only 3-times-a-week exercise at college.

I try not to be hasty, I am not waiting for results after 15 minutes, but, come on, after a month I should see something...

What am I doing wrong? Why can't I see the results? Why am I not losing weight as I hoped? Should I go on strict diets? (Does that make any sence? Once I start eating normal food I am afraid to have the yo-yo effect.)

Please give me some advice, please help me out of this downturn.