Very confuddled, could use some guidance?

groove82

Hi everyone, i'm all confuddled and was hoping someone could help me figure out what I need to do.

I'm 5"2, 27 and about 100-101lbs (all my adult life i've been somewhere between 98-103lbs). I gained some fat mostly around my stomach and hips and on someone else it probably wouldn't even be noticeable but on my small frame looked ridiculous, so for the first time in my life, I started calorie counting and while I don't think i've lost a significant amount of weight (I'm not using the scales for the weight loss as I don't really care whether that number goes up or downso long as I look healthy, so i'm just going by whether my clothes fit) I think in a couple of weeks i'll be done - even though there is still some annoying blobs of fat in some places, I just wanted to reduce the size of my stomach a bit. So now I'm trying to prepare for how to maintain my weight and I'm so confused!

I've tried a lot of the calculators, including this site and on average my BMR tends to be between 1000-1200 (usually on the lower side). My TDEE seems to fall somewhere between 1200-1400. While i'm making an effort to exercise, i'll admit my depression is making it difficult and my activity level, while increased from before, is still not that much.

My confusion is this: Before I began trying to lose weight (about 4 weeks ago) my diet was appalling. Everything you're not supposed to eat, I was eating. I lived on soda and cakes, biscuits, cheese, junk food, cereal and didn't really eat much fruit or vegetables. And I had been doing this for about 15 years. In the last year or so, I was getting through somewhere between 1700-2100 a day. And doing very little exercise (any exercise I had was basic things like walking around, fidgeting etc. I spent a lot of time in bed either sleeping or reading. (I've made big changes to my diet since then, no more soda, junk food, fruits & veg etc). But if my BMR and TDEE are so low, I don't understand how on earth I only put on 2 or 3lbs when I was eating like that and doing no exercise? Surely my metabolism must be faster than that? I do have a lot of anxiety issues so I guess that may have burned some of it off. I'm struggling to decide how to maintain my weight and terrified I'm either going to gain it all back or lose too much and be incredibly underweight (Doctors have always said i'm only JUST in the healthy range as it is).

I know some loss & gain is going to have to happen in order to figure this out, but i'm scared i'm going to screw it up too much and end up looking either like a skeleton or a skeleton with a huge stomach

Thanks in advance

Gidzmo

Hi, Groove! First, congrats on your progress so far. But don't be discouraged--you won't undo 15 years of bad habits in four weeks.

But I don't think you will goof up too much (although that is sometimes how we learn). What works for one person might not work for you.
Cereal is not bad--but try the whole-grain cereals (like shredded wheat).
Cheese, IMVHO, is not that bad (and you do need the calcium).

BTW, walking does count as exercise. Don't give up!

sheldonklein

First, your TDEE is more like 1600. Second, you are already unhealthfully underweight. You shouldn't be restricting calories. If you don't like the way your body looks, eat more and exercise more.

PAV8888

You don't use a scale and it doesn't sound that you for know for sure how much you were eating before or recently--which is a bit weird for someone playing with such small margins.

You have not (reliably) measured your body fat percentage before and after so you have no idea what combination of water, muscle and fat loss your recent dietary changes have brought about.

Fidgeting and non exercise walking ARE part of your NEAT and part of your TDEE.

Most TDEE calculators give a much higher range for an inactive person of your build than what you have reported. In fact even for an inactive person some put you in the 1800 cal range.

A gain of 2-3lbs over the course of a year is about 30 calories a day. The range of eating you give is 1700 to 2100 calories, a 400 calories range. Many people would consider a fluctuation of less than 5lbs a year to be a normal part of maintaining their weight. The range you give in combination with the lack of weight gain implies that you are more active than you state/think.

You are reporting concerns about your weight and some anxiety in regards to your body image while at the same time the numbers you give imply that you are either an exceptionally small framed individual or close to being officially underweight--yet you've been trying to lose weight!?

Many relatively underweight sedentary people would have considered developing more muscles through lifting weights and exercising while eating at or above maintenance as a more appealing goal compared to losing weight.

There are several forum posts about body-recomp, many with success pictures. These posts and pictures paint a much healthier outlook than the picture of yourself that you've painted in my mind : - )

It sounds to me that you may have concerns and anxieties regarding your body that are quite heightened compared to the general population. Have you discussed them with someone who specializes in the field?

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/resource-links

https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources

groove82

Thank you all for your replies, I really do appreciate it.

I'll certainly hold my hands up to not having a good grip on precisely how much I was eating before but in my defence, weight was never something I worried about so this is all very new to me, so I apologise for that.

I do feel like I've given the impression of being something I'm not. I will hold my hands up to being obsessed with it, I didn't mention I have OCD (yep one of "those people" who has everything) and obviously BDD is an offshoot of that. But I am completely aware of it, and thankfully my CBT over the years has taught me to recognise and minimise it. (Another reason I try not to look at the scale). So no denial there. But what I need to state for the record is this: I am not delusional. When I look in the mirror, I see a skinny person, there is no doubt in my mind of that and I have never considered myself anything near "fat". But I did gain that little bit extra around my stomach and it was slightly out of proportion with the rest of me. This is why I haven't gone crazy with the calorie cutting or exercise because I knew from the start there wasn't much that I wanted to get rid of and I was mindful that losing fat would include the whole body and at least tried to be as careful as I could, given my ignorance. But my point is, I'm perfectly aware of how tiny I am, and I think part of the reason people who are naturally my size hold back from asking for advice is because that is usually the default reaction and people assume you're nuts. It's also worth saying that when you do have a naturally small frame like mine, a smaller amount of fat can look more unsightly than it would on someone else. The fact that when I gain weight it seems to go straight to middle, leaving the rest of me skinny as ever, doesn't help. I know to others it sounds crazy but I can't help that. All I can say is even on the diet, if I get genuinely hungry I will eat regardless because clearly that's what my body wants. I am trying to be healthy, I don't care if my weight goes up, I just wanted to reduce the size of my stomach by a small amount. My first step wasn't even a diet, it was working on my posture to see if that improved the way it looked. Why? Because I didn't like the idea of losing weight.

Nevertheless, I did look at the scale just now, and I have lost nearly a pound in 4 weeks, and my stomach looks much better. So yeah, it wasn't much at all.

My original plan was to shift that weight, maintain and then try and gain some muscle mass (which would presumably involve upping my calorie intake further). I certainly do agree that my main problem here is composition.

Thank you for your suggestions, again, I do appreciate it.

Shouliveshappy

I have the exact same stats as you... 5" 2 105-110lbs.. I'm reverse dieting now. Currently at 1800... No weight gain weight yet due to me not being discipline enough to hit my calories... Averaging about 1600-1700. I'm going to hit 1800 till friday diligently (now recovering from food poisoning). From the way I listen to my body I know I don't feel full. But I don't want to rush into things....But on sat I will up to 2000 cals.! Sat is my bday... So it's a good time to up the calories