Dilemma

JoyBellz

So I am trying to live healthier by eating healthier, exercising, etc. I am currently in a job that has decent hours and decent pay but I do not enjoy it one bit. I dread going there everyday and the stress is terrible. On weekends I start dreading the workweek Saturday evening. I hate that feeling. I feel like the stress from not liking my job is interfering with helping me become a healthier person. BUT what do you do? Economy isn't so great right now. Jobs are hard to find. Can't just settle for anything b/c I have a certain salary I have to make it and I don't want to end up hating a new job worse than the job I'm trying to get out of. Considering the job market, the jobs available with the hours I would need to still have time with my husband are scarce. Right now, I work approx 7:30am-5 or 6pm Mon- Wed and approx 9am-7 or 8pm on Thurs and noon to 5pm on Friday with every other Friday off and my husband works 6pm to 4:30am Sun, Tues, Wed, Thurs with Friday and Saturday off. Basically we see each other Friday, Saturday and Sunday each week. Therefore, I don't want to take a job where I have to work weekends or work past 5pm on Fridays b/c we would NEVER see each other. Each work week feels like a rollercoaster and I'm just hanging on for life until the ride is over. I know every job has its problems and there are times when you don't want to go to work, but this is more than that. I NEVER want to go to work and I dread every minute of it. When I am there, I am counting every minute until the day is over and counting every day until my next day off. The stress got so bad last year that I went into a bad depression - I am sure other factors contributed also. I ended up going on a small dose of an antidepressant to help with that. I want to get off the antidepressant as my doctor thinks it could be the cause of another issue I am having but I am scared to go off of it b/c my work brings me down so much, I'm afraid of becoming so depressed like I was a year ago. I need to do something about this but my hands are tied. I have been praying for God to open a door for me and I know and believe God does answer prayer BUT only when he knows its the right time. I just need to do something to make it easier until that door is opened. I don't think I am necessarily looking for answers from anyone but I would really appreciate all the prayers you are willing to pray.

melodyg

Okay, I am telling you this as someone who stayed in TWO jobs I hated for years... dealing with massive stress and depression (though not entirely job related) both times.

It wasn't worth it.

I am SO into being secure and hating change and thinking that the next situation could be worse. I was the main income earner for my family in both situations so it was even harder to think of leaving. I feel like I understand where you are coming from, really. I used to spend the entire day Sunday dreading going to work the next week. I used to spend most of the time I wasn't at work complaining and crying about my job... and yet I stayed.... because I couldn't deal with more change and the possibility of a worse situation.

I've realized that even though change is hard, sometimes it is the best thing to do. So... my advice is to at least keep your eyes and ears open for new opportunities. And find people who you can talk to about your job to relieve the stress a little.

I'm definitely praying for you in the situation.

JoyBellz

Its good to know that someone understands where I am coming from. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just crazy. When I was offered this job, I was sooooo excited b/c it was an "office" job and somewhat "office" hours, pay was good, etc. I thought I finally found my dream job. Boy, was I in for a surprise. Believe me, I am keeping my eyes and ears open. Interviewed for a different job last week and am suppose to hear something sometime this week. Felt like the interview went really well but am getting nervous b/c it is Friday and I haven't heard anything yet. I was told they would either call or send a letter. I am terrified of the rejection letter b/c I want out of this job so bad, I will be very disappointed if I don't get the job I interviewed for. On a brighter note, at least even if I don't get the job, I had an interview and thats a lot more response than I have gotten since I've started looking. Thanks so much for your response and your prayers.

weaklink109

Speaking from personal experience, there has not been a job created that is worth screwing up your health to keep. I went through the depression scenario last year, and was on a medical leave for almost 2 months. I returned and not much had really changed. Like you, I couldn't bear the thought of ending up in a worse situation than the one that I was in. I was paralyzed at the thought of looking for any other options. Like you, I didn't think there were any, due to the economy.

Strange as it may sound, I was eventually delivered from my dilemma through a chance event in a store parking lot. About 3 weeks after I returned to work, I slipped and fell on a rainy night and got a concussion--actually knocked myself out and ended up in the hospital. The after effects of my injury resulted in my going onto FMLA to protect my job, but that didn't stop the company from terminating me for issues related to the after effects of my injury. This, after being given superior reviews throughout the 3+ years I was there. Thanks a lot guys.

At the same time this happened, I stumbled upon an opportunity to go back into an industry I had worked in 10 years ago, and the nature of the work is just what I need. I set my own hours and don't punch any time clocks, and don't have any clueless know it all micro-managing me.. I am just getting started, but this is SOOO much better than "the zoo"--my nickname for my former place of employment. If I hadn't been placed in the circumstances I was in, I would never have considered looking at the position I now have.

Keep your mind open, and maybe something that starts out looking like a bad thing will end up being just the solution you need. Meanwhile, empower yourself by keeping yourself out there, looking. Hope the interview you already had leads to something.

Good luck:flowerforyou:

Funnydream

Good luck with finding a job that you enjoy more - it will come along eventually. Meanwhile - and I say this from bitter experience of working somewhere I hated for a long time - just try and rise above it. Feeling all stressed and bitter about it isn't going to help your health, so you need to to either 1) leave the job as soon as you can by finding a replacement or 2) - while you ARE there try and change the way you think about it. Try and focus on the positives (pay, conditions, holidays) and try to adopt a frame of mind that cushions you against the stress of being there.

If you aren't able to leave immediately and cannot find a suitable replacement, then why screw yourself up while you are there? The job won't change, YOU have to control to change the way you think about it. You need to try and tweak how you feel. You are the only person who can do this.

It's about survival and health and happiness at the end of the day - and no job is worth making yourself ill over. Just try and re-think it through - as a damage limitation exercise!

Best of Luck in finding the perfect job.

lutzsher

I left a job about 6 years ago that was horrible, stressful, the boss was verbally abusive . . . but the money was amazing. I finally realized in my 3rd year there that I didn't feel like "ME" anymore. I would be grouchy and angry every morning getting ready for work because I hated the thought of going there, have road rage, then I would come home and be a total hag to everyone for at least 30 minutes from "coming down" in stress just from being there all day.
I finally "woke up" one day . . . the boss actually freaked on me because I refused to issue paycheques that were going against current labour laws . . . I told him to get the %#$@ out of my office and my resignation would be on his desk by the end of the day. I wrote him an eloquent resignation letter, thanking them for the opportunity, and quietly left in 4 weeks. They asked me to reconsider but I held firm. Because I didn't act out like the boss I actually still get a good reference from them too!
I am now working at a job I enjoy much more (it is still "work" so I don't completely love it . . . but it is a much better environment) but it took me 5 full years to get back to the salary I was at previously.
I soon came to realize that NO money is worth my self worth and self esteem. A job like that just messes with your outlook on life . . . and yourself. You start to doubt your abilities and spiral into depression.
The old saying "look out for #1" is SO true . . . you need to look out for yourself first, your physical and mental health. We cancelled the cable, cell phones, and budgeted fiercly for a while . . . and you know what . . . my family never had an issue with it at all because their wife and mother was happy . . . actually happy for the first time in years . . . and ultimately that is what counts, not what is in the bank (or isn't).
Good luck to you!