Hello :) EDNOS past

TessaDear

Hello MFP. I'm new on here so here's a little back ground (it's a little personal, but it's a story I don't mind sharing anymore.)

My weight is something I've struggled with since I was a small child (my grandparents loved to spoil me with treats, bless their hearts ^-^ they had good intentions I swear). I used to just hope an pray that one day I would magically wake up and be thin, which, obviously never happened. In my senior year of high school I decided to take matters into my own hands once and for all. I began dieting and excising daily. This was fine at first, I lost about 12lbs after several weeks but it wasn't enough for me.
I started restricting my food more, eating less, working out harder, running farther, and so on. Within about 1 and 1/2 months I had dropped about 30lbs. By this point I was around 105lbs and it still wasn't enough. I would wake up still, look in the mirror and feel so ridiculously fat, so I pushed myself even harder. I began to isolate myself from friends and family in order to avoid missing a workout or places that may have "bad food". I rarely saw my friends and even ended a relationship I had been in for 3 years.
Anyways, this went on for quite a while, I missed a lot of school due to my lack of energy and constant headaches that were so painful that I couldn't move, until I finally broke down and decided I needed help.
I have been an inpatient twice as of now, at my lowest weight I was about 95lbs and miserable. Never again. ^-^
I'm trying to lose *some* weight again after I gained quite a bit back from my ED recovery process. Nothing drastic, just a few extra pounds. More than anything, I want to be happy and healthy. I couldn't care less if I'm not stick thin or don't have a thigh gap.

(EDNOS: Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

Good luck to you on your journey xx add me if you like