Two years after hitting my goal...

LorinaLynn

Alternate Title #1: Maintenance Isn’t Linear Either

Alternate Title #2: Weight Gain… Not So Scary After All

Alternate Title #3: Behold! The Power of Lifting!

Alternate Title #4: Progress Photos Save Sanity

Alternate Title #5: Maybe I Should Just Call It a Bulk Cycle

If you want the full story, check other posts linked on my profile. The short story, which as I write it, isn’t so short after all, is that two and a half years ago, I started my weight loss journey, and reached my goal weight just in time for my 39th birthday. That was two years ago this weekend. Since then I realized that weight loss is just one part of it.

Maintenance requires every single bit as much motivation, determination and just plain effort. Maybe even a little bit more. Losing weight is fun, in a way. You see definite progress. The number on the scale goes down. Your clothes fit better. People congratulate you on your hard work. In maintenance, you still need to do everything you did to lose the weight, but without those tangible bonuses. It’s very rare (only when making posts like this!) that anyone might say, “Hey, good job staying about the same size for the past two years!”

What you need is new goals. Fitness goals work for me. Running longer and faster at first, and for a while, I was interested in losing a little more weight and got as low as 125, then I got into weight lifting, first with machines at the gym, and for the past year with free weights at home) and was amazed at what a change that made to my body. And it takes a while to realize that “being happy where you are” is also a perfectly acceptable goal. I’m still working on that one.

In December 2012, I think I was at my physical peak. I’d just completed 12 weeks of Stronglifts and felt like a million bucks. Then, I’m not quite sure what happened. My mojo crashed. Some of it was, I think, related to my 3rd Depo Provera shot. Within weeks of that, my weight jumped about 7 pounds, and I wasn’t doing anything differently. Add a rough winter of bad weather, and my depression flared up a little. Then going back on antidepressants for a while, then getting the flu, and I added another 5 pounds or so, topping off around 145 or so. I never completely stopped exercising (except during the flu), but I did slack off a bit.

Enough was enough. I stopped the Depo, and I’m stopping the antidepressants, since they really didn’t help this time around… they just made me feel numb. I’d rather be sad and angry than numb. And the scale is starting to budge again.

I finally worked up the nerve to slip into a bikini and take some progress photos. And you know what? They’re not bad! I’m not sadistic nor confident enough to put my current pics side by side with my peak photos from last year, but compared with when I was about the same weight, then at my goal and below goal, two years ago… I’m feeling excited instead of sad.

The first photo was after I’d already lost about 20 pounds and (as you can tell by my poop-eating grin) felt great. It was the first set of real progress photos I took. Second photo was when I reached my goal weight. Third was when I kept losing without really trying after reaching my goal, before I started lifting. And the last, a few days ago.







I could kick myself in my nice, round *kitten* for being afraid to take progress photos the last few months, and letting that fear make me feel bad about myself. I’d look at the scale, and think, “Damn… I’m back where I was… I’m almost closer to my start weight than my goal weight.” Plus, I see every flaw when I look in the mirror. Always did. It amazes me that I can look smaller at 143 than at 130. Thanks, weight lifting!

I still want to drop a little weight. Except weight isn’t the right word. Bodyfat. I want to lower my bodyfat a little. Because, as these photos show, losing pounds isn’t always the answer. And I’m really excited about it… I can’t wait to see what losing some extra fluff will reveal.

silvergurl518

you've still got your abs and look at your butt--seriously, it's wayyyy more lifted because you LIFT HEAVY THINGS anyway. you're still an inspiration to us all, lorina--don't you forget it! just use this to fuel your fire!

kiykiy79

You can't do anything but respect and admire your transparency! You are 100% correct in what you say about weight loss and maintenance... Two different beasts. I appreciate you sharing this with everyone!! And you look damn good btw!!!! Weight lifting rocks!!!

(Posted on your profile, but I want this to show up in my feed... Many need to read this...)

mandylgibbs

Yeah, your booty looks GOOD!

danasings

You still look amazing..the scale is a lying wh0re, as we all know by now. :laugh:

AllonsYtotheTardis

You're awesome. I love reading your posts.

chollands29

Maintenance is hard! I had been successfully doing it for about 6 years and then started to creep upward in the past year or so. My sister in law once said something about how jealous she was that I never had to worry about my weight and I was like
"no I think about food constantly and consider everything I put in my mouth and how it will affect my weight." She actually was encouraged by this so I'm glad we had that conversation. I'm a huge foodie, I love it and I could easily eat all day so its a struggle. Now I'm trying to switch from eating your typical fast food. To making healthy, tasty and more gourmet things at home. Or splurging on a fancier restaurant. Quality over convenience I guess

so my point is great work!! you look awesome !

misssiri

Thanks for posting this! (and all your posts) I really love that you have taken pictures all along, It's been an inspiration to me. You look fantastic and what a nice looking booty! :-)

coopersmom2006

Maintenance is SO hard! I agree. Struggling with it right now. I applaud your efforts and fabulous attitude!

nhouse3417

WOW, just WOW! You look incredible! Love your story! And thank you for posting it because soon I will be in maintenance and I am not sure what to expect. Your abs and butt look fantastic! Your legs also.

PetulantOne

You look fantastic! :flowerforyou:

JesterMFP

You rock. :flowerforyou: I love your "being happy where you are" goal.

AlongCame_Molly

So bummed now. I'm very near getting to maintenance, and was so excited to not have to work so hard! Thanks for the heads-up, though, you very well saved me from going through what you just did this past winter. So thanks for the info, and also, don't be so hard on yourself, you still look fantastic!

strawberrytoast

you look good in all of your pictures there!!

Beeps2011

Really glad to read that you continue to keep weight-lifting as a paramount piece of the equation!

I know LOTS of women who struggle with "maintenance"....until they realize it isn't "maintenance", it's THE REST OF THEIR LIFE.

So, get comfy with your journey - be patient with yourself - and always remember HOW FAR YOU'VE COME!

You look TERRIFIC and you've been a source of inspiration to A LOT OF PEOPLE, myself included!

Cheers!

LorinaLynn

Thanks, everybody! *smooch!*

It still amazes me, although by now it shouldn't, just how much of all this is a mental struggle, rather than a physical one.

Eating right isn't so hard. Exercising isn't so hard. Staying motivated to keep doing them both is the hard part. Believing in the process, believing in yourself, trying to figure out how to measure success... or failure, for that matter. When to give yourself a break, when you shouldn't.

Jennacita

I'm glad you got your mojo back. I love both of your blogs and all your posts. You keep everything real. Eat, lift, run, repeat. :flowerforyou: