Need some sense knocked into me.

biorobotics

Long story short, I've been dealing with an eating disorder (anorexia) for 10+ years, been hospitalized, in treatment programs, on ridiculous meal plans, blah blah blah. I'm currently down to 99 pounds (27 y/o male, 5'6), and I know what the professionals have told me regarding nutrition and food and exercise, but I'm reading a lot of stuff that goes against that, and while I guess I logically know my situation is different from a healthy person wanting to build muscle, it's getting really hard to convince myself.

I'm stressing out about what I'm eating. I barely eat during the day, and my partner cooks dinner, which is great, he makes delicious meals and I need the calories, but I feel it's getting excessive. He cooks for flavour, and uses crazy amounts of oil, added fats, etc. This week, we've had:

Beer-battered deep-fried tofu 'fish' and sweet potato fries (literally a bowl of grease);

Udon noodles and seitan ("wheat meat") stir fry with peanut-sesame sauce;

Fettucinni (white pasta) with seitan and vegetables;

Seitan stir fry with peanut-sesame sauce over brown rice;

Coconut-peanut curry with tofu over brown rice;

I usually log 2 tablespoons of oil, and over a tablespoon of peanut butter, and he used a whole can of coconut milk in the curry. Sometimes he serves me more protein or starch. These meals are around 1000~1200 calories.

At the end of the day, I've been at less than 1500 calories for the day. I maintained my weight from last week (99lbs), despite the *kitten* I've been eating. I don't know whether I should be concerned about this now, or if I should be in the mindset of "it's all just energy and my body needs it"?

I mostly just needed to vent, but any push in the right direction would be appreciated.

GoPerfectHealth

Hi,

Sounds like you are seriously underweight as you should weigh no less than 136 pounds and you are not taking in enough calories for your body. Since you've been through treatment you probably already know what to do, but doing it is the problem.

Here are some steps you could take:

1. Set your goals on MFP for a reasonable weight gain per week.
2. Have a daily food plan and follow it
3. If you don't follow your food plan, go through your day to determine what got in the way.

The food your partner is preparing for you is consistent with gaining weight, so continue to eat it and add in regular meals to your day.

Anorexia is a really serious disease. You don't want to it win. Keep reaching out to people for help.

Springfield1970

All those meals sound like just what you need. Except three times a day. They've got amazing nutrition in them.
I maintain at 2000-2500 and I'm a 44 y o female 5'7" 127lb.

You really need to be following advice from professionals- not Internet folk.

RoxieDawn

This type of question regarding should I continue to log (on another forum) and should I eat this type of food (on this forum) are all questions and issues stemming from the brain signals and should be asked, do you want to get better or not?

When you need to gain weight to control or break the anorexia cycle it does NOT matter what you eat. Just eat.

As I mentioned in the other forum, seeking advice from people on an internet site regarding anorexia is NOT advisable or the right medicine, getting help from doctors that can provide "medicine" is.

Please seek help and get help from your doctor and nutritionist to help you plan a diet and a strategy to help you no matter what your partner is cooking..

Need to get your mind straight first and the rest will follow.

Edited to add: all the food mentioned sound really yummy, nutritious and even healthy! Again the mind is telling and sending the wrong signals that all "food" is "bad".. not good.

JuliaHaleFitness

Hi there,

I'm responding because I want to let you know I've been in your shoes. I suffered from anorexia during college and felt like I lost years of my life. Like you, I was smart enough to know the science behind gaining weight and muscle, etc but that didn't matter when I was sick. My family cooked amazing meals that I had a hard time eating. Its a mind over matter situation. You know deep down what is good for you and as you let yourself have enough energy (food), you will start to truly believe that. It takes time but as you get healthier, you will gradually forget about being anxious about eating. There is nothing you can't do.

Today, I am fully recovered and am on a path of really getting my fitness and health in gear. I'm 5'4" and eat close to 2,000 calories a day, and I feel the best I ever have in my life.

If you ever want to talk to someone, I'm here! I'm not a doctor but I've gone through what you are going through. I have a site, juliahalefitness.com and am on Facebook if you are ever interested in messaging. I always found talking to someone who didn't know me at all helped.

Stay strong, stay motivated.

Julia

auddii

All that food sounds delicious (even if it's vegetarian...)! They way you are describing the food though, it sounds like you really need to be working on how you view food. It sounds like you've gotten advice from doctors about how much to eat, but you also need to talk with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.

AliceDark

Any other nutritional considerations aside, your body needs calories. Calories are valuable just on their own -- you're not eating ****, you're eating exactly what you need to recover. (I mean, you need more of it in order to recover, but oils, added fats, carbs, etc., are exactly what you need right now).

You're right in saying that your situation is different from someone at a healthy weight who is just trying to build muscle. You likely have a lot of repair work that you need to do as well. Sustaining an unhealthily low body weight over time means that you've lost bone and organ tissue (along with losing fat and muscle), and your body needs calories in order to repair itself.