Newbie :) Almost 300 pounds and scared to death

moonjewel76

Hi Everyone!
Yesterday was my day 1. I logged exactly what I ate, thinking I had eaten 'light' that day because I wasn't feeling good. Seeing that I went OVER my calorie goal for the day by 300 calories on a day that I thought I didn't eat much was a real eye-opener.

I am 38 years old and weigh 295. Anxiety and panic over dying due to my weight has crippled my life, and fear has taken hold in an almost non-stop nightmare. I am afraid to do almost anything: ride rides at theme parks, travel, climb stairs, dance, do things I used to do without fear. Any little thing my body does makes me afraid I'm dying. It's sad, it's controlling and it's no way to live.

I just want to LIVE and be here for my kiddos' lives for as long as I can. I want to run, frolic, dance and do things that look exciting without being afraid of dropping dead. I want energy.

I need to lose about half of myself, and that is just so daunting on this first day of beginning. But I am confident I can do it, and reading your success stories is such an inspiration to me!! I could really use a friend or two (or three ), so I hope I meet some new people that have been through this same journey or are on the same path as I am. One day at a time, right?

xoxo Julie

Sdanni64

You can do this...awareness and wanting to change are the biggest hurdles. And you are right..one day at a time...there will be good and not so good days...but preservance is the key. I sent you a friend request-

Nightwriter_returns

I was at 302 when I started, lost 32 and joined MFP yesterday. Like you there was a lot I didn't realize until I started keeping track and watching what I was doing. We can get through this together and get healthy. I sent you a friend request.

moonjewel76

Thanks so much, you guys! Having a support group of friends is really going to be such a big deal to me. I don't know anyone "in real life" that is as heavy as me, so this just means the world to me. Truly.

NewDay326

You can do this! I started yesterday to, and logging really shows what we are eating. I'm looking to lose around the same as you, so I'll send you a friend request.

fancyladyJeri

You can do it. Make a commitment to record all your calories, that really works for me. Even when I go over, I try to record and I am always amazed that it wasn't so bad after all. I can stop right there instead of saying "Oh well" and eating more.

DebSemmens

Hang in there. I started working on my weight a little over a year ago. (1/15/14) I thought I would be done by now....but I still have 14 lbs to shed. I have lost 106. I can tell you it will be hard, you will have days that will be hard.... but you will also have days that you will soar! The hardest part will be the mental.... that is what I am struggling with right now. IF I never get to goal weight I won't have to worry about putting it back on. Send me a friend request if you would like. I would love to support you along the way..

UtahWI

You have your "why", and it is strong and significant. Either print your OP, or write yourself a letter that has all that emotion in it, and keep it. Pull it out to read when sometimes the distance you have to go seems too long-which it will, from time to time.

moonjewel76

Excellent suggestion. I will definitely do that!

Dennis4766

No better time to start than right now! Your future self will thank you.

ewhip17

I started at 318. Today I weigh 182. And there's nothing particularly special or unusual about me. I'm just a normal person with a life like so many others. Move your fear to excitement and do not, under any circumstances, quit. It's not magic, it's just finding out what works for you and consistently doing it.

moonjewel76

Right on, Dennis. I can't wait to meet her.

chadisallin70

I'm just starting today myself. Hope to meet some folks on here that I can cheer for and maybe pickup a few cheerleaders of my own! ( wait...as I typed that... I realize how it sounded! Lol). I actually started trying to eat better and lose some weight about 28 days ago. I'm 5'10" and was 284 when I started. I am down to 271 and considering how uneducated I am regarding nutrition and weight loss...that was probably a small miracle! Lol. Probably a lot of water weight but I'll take it! I was logging everything in a spreadsheet and that was becoming inconvenient so found what I hope is the answer I this. Anyhow...looking forward to sharing journeys to better health and happiness with you all!

~ Chad (from NC)

999tigger

I think I started fo health reasons more than anything, its a good motivator.
The good news is you can do it. Its kind of pretty straightforward and you should keep it simple.

Learning how it works so you can avoid mistakes would be a good start as well as breaking it down into smaller parts so the big picture doesnt ovewhelm you. You have to commit, buut its just a slow steady stroll down to your target weight, even if it goes on a bit.

moonjewel76

We can do this, Chad! *Ready? OK! Who's got the spirit? C-H-A-D! Gooooo, Chad!*

moonjewel76

Thank you, ewhip17. While I can be magical at times, I know this is going to take honest dedication. I'm ready.

MsLaurie65

I understand how you feel, one day at a time is the best way. My grandson is my inspiration along with my faith. You can do it!!!!

pbruce706

Hi Moon, congratulations! Best advice I can offer is don't look too far down the road, keep your goals short and attainable. I used 10% goals of my weight loss, and rewarded myself each time I reached one (not with food!). I also focused only on the day, making sure I ate what I should, exercised, measured and logged everything. After reaching the first 10% it became less of a chore and more exciting as the weight continued to go down. The first few weeks are the hardest in some ways as you'll be changing your habits, but you'll also see some pretty quick changes.

And I totally get the "ride at theme parks" comment. Had a great before (Feb 2013) and after (Aug 2014) experience at Disney and it's amazing to not to have to worry about whether you'll fit on the ride or feeling like you have to wedge yourself into the seat!

One step at a time, one day at a time, you'll get there.

TheCriz76

You can totally do this!

So can you Chad!

Feel free to add me as a friend since I'm in the same boat as you

mrsvinisky

Sdanni64 wrote: »

You can do this...awareness and wanting to change are the biggest hurdles. And you are right..one day at a time...there will be good and not so good days...but preservance is the key. I sent you a friend request-

ewhip17 wrote: »

I started at 318. Today I weigh 182. And there's nothing particularly special or unusual about me. I'm just a normal person with a life like so many others. Move your fear to excitement and do not, under any circumstances, quit. It's not magic, it's just finding out what works for you and consistently doing it.

Yes, and yes! I started in January at 291. I weighed 257 this week. I too am just an average person who needed a kick start. MFP paired with my Fitbit has honestly changed my life. I am motivated, I have seen fantastic results without having to buy special food or go to meetings. It has opened my eyes to new recipes and ways of cooking (I rarely eat out of a can or jar or frozen package anymore!) and I have energy and I am excited to stand on the scale.

I too need to lose half of myself. I set my first goal at 40 pounds, I am 6.7 away from that, 1 month ahead of schedule. Keep your goals small. Do it in pieces. Celebrate your victories, you deserve it!!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! I sent you a friend request.

Nuka_Gina

You can totally do this! I've got a 105 pounds to lose, just starting out on my journey, too. I'd love to meet more people to motivate and support!

Healthydiner65

My suggestions would be to set small goals such as 10 pounds in the next 2 months. Small goals are easier to achieve and reduce stress. Also log every BLT( bite lick and taste) that goes in your mouth! When I started MFP I could walk only 2 minutes and now on a good day 60. An app for your phone called Happy Scale lets you set small goals. Good luck! You can do this!

ThatLadyFromMN

Hi!! Glad to have you join the MFP community!! I started out at 278ish and am currently down to (the scale said this morning) 215, I still would like to get down to 140-150 so I still have a little ways to go. It can get discouraging to think about how much you have to lose, but just keep going, keep trying, you'll feel better anyways. I've been kind of plateaued on the scale for the past 5 months but clothes are feeling looser, just remember, if you're weight training inches are more important than pounds. I'd really love to help you and motivate you if you'd like? Anyone can feel free to add me, I always love having new friends!!

MadtownMadisonian

I started at 272. Nothing saps your motivation like doing nothing and facing the abyss of hopelessness. Nothing motivates you more than each little success. Just record everything. Don't even worry about whether you are below or above your goal for the day. Just record. Resist the temptation to fudge the facts (pun intended!). You are only lying to yourself. Pretty soon you will find yourself just gravitating toward foods that are satisfying but that don't leave you without some more calories for the rest of the day. That's the beginning of forming a new food habit. I had a "binge" day last week - but my "binge" was on salad, taboulli, and salmon. Yes I went over my calories a bit for the day, but it wasn't on ice cream or spaghetti, and that says an awful lot about how much I have changed in what I crave to eat.

We can do it.

oh - and ps - you start noticing things long before you hit your goal. I now walk up stairs without the handrail and without losing breath. And I am still at 219!

moonjewel76

UGH...stairs. I actually have an anxiety attack if I know I have to go up even one set of stairs with someone else, because I know they will see me struggle. I'm so ready for change!

ihad

You really can do it.

Here's some advice I put together based on my experience:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/the-resolution-that-stuck-my-two-year-mfpiversary-607930

Good luck!

tmauck4472

I refused to weigh myself when I first started because in my heart I knew if I saw how much I did weight I would tell myself there is no way I can do it and then just not even try. Well I've done it and I'm not done yet, but I've lost half of me and OMG do I feel a difference. And just so you know I was sitting here eating some buggles at 8:30 in the morning typing this and reading it as I go and thought wth am I doing this for, so the buggles are gone.

Anyway you can do this. If you don't have a support system at home get you one here. Find people who not only want to help you but are eager to support you. Find people who eat the same things you do and the way you do that way your not being put down because you had an off day and had to little or you had an off day and had to much, or you decided you wanted 1800 calories of junk today instead of 1800 calories of fresh from the market foods. Whatever you choose to do. Never be afraid to mix it up. Be prepared to ask questions and be prepared to get 1000 different answers. We all do our own thing but some will tell you their way is the only way because you know "SCIENCE" is on their side, but reality is everyone is different and although science in theory is supposed to work for everyone, in reality it doesn't. I find I do better without so much carbs, like pasta and breads, but others can eat that stuff all day and be just fine with it. I love ice cream but if I keep it at my house I'll eat the whole container so I found an alternative to ice cream and now it's all good.

I just know that you can never give up, you just get back up and start again.

cocosmom

YOU CAN DO THIS!! Just remember you did not get to this weight overnight.....it took me Almost a year(with a break in between for BC treatments-surgery, radiation(slowed me down but kept going)) to lose 75 lbs-that was in 2005...have since regained 20 but determined to get it back off! You got this....there will be days you go over your goal..don't harp on it..just get back on your horse!!
and remember its 80% nutrition- 20% exercise!!

urloved33

I know the feelings you are talking about experiencing. It was a health issue for me not attached to my weight but something equally within my control. I put myself back on the treadmill and hung on to the sides while I walked at 2 mph...then I slowly increased the speed. That was four years ago...I now walk 3.5 mph uphill for 1/2 hour and use the eliptical for 1/2 5 times weekly. The fears...I am still dealing with.

jnmrie

I started 26 days ago at 283. As of five days ago I am at 272.3. So far, for me, it has been about making small changes in my activity level and learning more about portion sizes.

Some small changes I've made--

• Wake up 15 minutes earlier just to stretch. As of yesterday I can actually touch my nose to my knee for the first time since middle school!
• I work a desk job, so I try to take a 10 minute walk every day around my building.
• I make sure to always take the stairs. I have not used an elevator since starting. At first I would be winded going up one flight of stairs and then I would wheeze myself around the building. Now going up one flight of stairs is no big deal, neither is two or three. Small victory, I guess.
• Breaking out the old Wii Fit and playing some Hula Hoop, just for fun!

Of course, food is a large part of it too, and as I mentioned learning about portion sizes has really opened my eyes. Where I thought I was eating one serving to begin with, I was actually eating three (especially with rice and pasta.) I still eat all of the foods that I love. I love cooking and I love eating even more.

I still go out for bi-weekly (paycheck) pizza too.

Anyway, I know I'm going on and on. But I know that you can do it!

I also noticed you're from Florida! Me too! Feel free to add me.

amcook4

Just logging and seeing what you have been eating is going to help a lot! I started at 325 (currently 245). For me food was comfort and a boredom buster, I mostly ate without even thinking of it, so logging food and being aware of it has helped me lose 80 pounds so far. MFP is great at food awareness!

As long as you are 100% honest with your logging, you will lose weight. As you start to shed pounds, moving around and logging will get easier. You have completed the first steps, keep it up!!