Monogamy and the argument against it

LouLouStBijou

On the radio last night I heard the recap of one of our popular morning shows (on the national broadcaster). I was in the car on my way home from having dinner with a friend and when I realised what they were talking about, I HAD to pull over and listen to as much of the interview as I could. This is the link to the podcast http://www.cbc.ca/radio/thecurrent/the-current-for-march-26-2015-1.3010107/monogamy-can-be-damaging-dan-savage-prefers-being-monogamish-1.3010140. I am interested in your feedback....I am not airing my personal opinions because I don't want to taint my sample....but if you want to know, I will answer in PM.

newatthis2015

Interesting.

Timshel_

I don't care what you want, and you shouldn't care what I want. Anything more is judgmental and nothing more than self-justification.

Monogamy is simply a choice.

newatthis2015

It's a choice but i guess both persons should be on the same wavelength.

lilRicki

It's something to be discussed with your significant other. And if you meet someone that you know is in an open relationship, there is no reason to judge them with disgust. There are many, many different sexual preferences out there, and at the end of the day it's nobody's business as long as you aren't hurting anyone.

newatthis2015

lilRicki wrote: »

It's something to be discussed with your significant other. And if you meet someone that you know is in an open relationship, there is no reason to judge them with disgust. There are many, many different sexual preferences out there, and at the end of the day it's nobody's business as long as you aren't hurting anyone.

well put. Open with your spouse and open with others.

Sinistrous

Monogamy or end up with all the aids. Quite possibly and probably.

cmmull67

If it isn't illegal or directly impacting me, live your life. As the saying goes "So, you want to judge or run my life? Which of my bills are you paying this month?"

arditarose

lilRicki wrote: »

It's something to be discussed with your significant other. And if you meet someone that you know is in an open relationship, there is no reason to judge them with disgust. There are many, many different sexual preferences out there, and at the end of the day it's nobody's business as long as you aren't hurting anyone.

+1

Sinistrous

newmeadow wrote: »

Sinistrous wrote: »

Monogamy or end up with all the aids. Quite possibly and probably.

Also the Hep B, Hep C, Chlamydia, Syphilis, and Gonorrhea.

And most importantly the viruses which condoms provide no protection from: Herpes and HPV.

Now, we're talking! Almost makes me want to start an illustrated book collection with VERY graphically detailed "stages" of each.

....almost.
We'll see.

PurringMyrrh

Polyamory is where it's at.

strozman

I would prefer monogamy. I would like to invest my time and attention in 1 person, rather than spreading it out to 4 or 5. I've had my fun and hold no judgment of people who think otherwise.

Darkhawk1969

I have my own thoughts and l am open minded. Luckily my partner feels the same way

CJisinShape

They did a study on happiness and found that people in open relationships were the most unhappy of all, behind singles, divorced, widowed, married, and even "it's complicated."

Apparently, humans are wired to be happiest in committed monogamous marriage.

mumblemagic

Personally, I prefer monogamy. I was briefly in a menage-a-trois type open relationship and it was far far too complicated. While I think it's inevitable that both my partner and I will find other people attractive at some point in our relationship, that does not mean we need to sleep with them. I don't think agreeing to an open relationship only 4 years in, when we have no children and no other responsibilities together, would be healthy. It would feel like only having one foot in the door, not like I was really committing at all. Other than the laminated list of course (Daniel Craig is on mine....)

That said I'd just like to make a few comments in support of those who feel that it is the right choice for them.

Being in an open relationship does not necessarily mean screwing everyone in sight, and may therefore not have a greater risk of STDs than a normal single existence. The guy in the podcast was discussing being monogam-ish, i.e. mostly monogamous but allowing the odd fling here or there. They categorically said that being highly promiscuous was not what their open relationship was about.

Just because the majority of people are happier in monogamous relationships doesn't mean there aren't people who are happier in polyamorous or open relationships, either purely sexual or emotional. As long as everyone involved is aware of the situation, and is ok with it, I don't see what harm it does.

I can totally see the appeal for long married couples, particularly those with children. I imagine that lacy lingerie can only spice up the sex life so many times, and at some point one or both members of the partnership may want something new in their sex life. If you have a stable, loving relationship that you do not want to break up, and *all* you need is a bit of something new in the bedroom, why break up an otherwise great relationship because of sex? I don't think this applies to the woman in the podcast; I think she was using an open relationship to try to fix an otherwise broken marriage, which does not seem like a good idea to me. However, I think this is the argument that the guy in the podcast was making.