Really hateful comment
AllieMalle
Posts: 8 Member
Today I had lunch with a friend, more a coworker, but I always considered a friend.
I told her today that one of the nutritionists I worked with in a weight management program
had asked me earlier this week if I would mind talking to a writer for our local newspaper who wanted
to talk to one of their "success stories". I have been in the program for about 16 weeks and dropped
19 pounds. My goal was to lose 25 - 30. When I told my friend about the email, she said "you haven't lost that
much". Very hurtful thing for her to say and I was just shocked that she would say that.
Just need to get if off my chest and try to let it roll off my back, but I took it so personal.
I told her today that one of the nutritionists I worked with in a weight management program
had asked me earlier this week if I would mind talking to a writer for our local newspaper who wanted
to talk to one of their "success stories". I have been in the program for about 16 weeks and dropped
19 pounds. My goal was to lose 25 - 30. When I told my friend about the email, she said "you haven't lost that
much". Very hurtful thing for her to say and I was just shocked that she would say that.
Just need to get if off my chest and try to let it roll off my back, but I took it so personal.
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Replies
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Wow what an *kitten*. I'm so sorry. You are doing amazing0
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You should learn to tolerate idiots,the world is full of them.great work on weight loss0
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Seriously, you shouldn't be bothered by people who are ignorant and have no idea what you're going through, unless they have personal experience...
Wish you all the best and keep up the healthy awesome progress!!0 -
O and I think hateful is abit strong,not nice or mean but hateful ?0
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I've gotten this a lot (also the opposite where they say you lost so much). Best thing is to just chalk it up to ignorant people who don't understand what you have gone through.
Keep on living on!0 -
Someone sounds jealous! And with good reason! 19 lbs IS a lot, and you look good!0
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O and I think hateful is abit strong,not nice or mean but hateful ?
I would say her coworker was hateful. She was deriding the OP's success despite the facts.0 -
..sounds more like a comment from someone who is very jealous!!!0
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Today I had lunch with a friend, more a coworker, but I always considered a friend.
I told her today that one of the nutritionists I worked with in a weight management program
had asked me earlier this week if I would mind talking to a writer for our local newspaper who wanted
to talk to one of their "success stories". I have been in the program for about 16 weeks and dropped
19 pounds. My goal was to lose 25 - 30. When I told my friend about the email, she said "you haven't lost that
much". Very hurtful thing for her to say and I was just shocked that she would say that.
Just need to get if off my chest and try to let it roll off my back, but I took it so personal.
Do you know what this is? This is a medical condition called being an asshat, also known as falcon ****er, and douche canoe, they come in many varities, now i wasnt there but im guessing your dealing with the jealous-kus women-menstrationus, you should have offered her some midol and called it a day. Your doing great!
You know the whole "do you want some midol dear your looking a bit bloated.." ;p0 -
O and I think hateful is abit strong,not nice or mean but hateful ?
This. Very misleading topic title for one, and secondly, don't you think you're overreacting a little? It was a little insensitive, but I would hardly call your friend "hateful".
typo0 -
Maybe she should try losing 19 lbs.
And....Way to go!!0 -
Eff her. You are doing great.0
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I'm sorry. She is almost certainly just jealous.0
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O and I think hateful is abit strong,not nice or mean but hateful ?
This. Very misleading topic title for one, and secondly, don't you think you're overreacting a little? It was a little insensitive, but I would hardly call your friend "hateful".
typo
Lol this is probably the best response.0 -
So to play devils advocate and hopeful give a different perspective. I have only lost about 30-35 lbs myself. I totally would never dream of being a success story. It isn't what people want to read about or hear. I personally think success stories are 60-200lbs. Major changes. My weight gain and loss were the result of a car accident and health problems - once I got those matters under control. Things went fairly easily for me. My main success is my ability to go from couch potato to marathoner. It had nothing to do with any program. She may be herself thinking of success stories as huge amounts of weight and major life transformations.0
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Maybe she meant it as a compliment, and it just came out wrong. Like she was expecting them to pick someone who had been morbidly obese?0
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You look great, and 19 pounds is an awesome weight loss!! You should be so proud. Unfortunately, we live in an age when people watch the Biggest Loser and think that's a typical rate of loss (nothing against the Biggest Loser, but it gives many people unrealistic expectations).0
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I'm guessing she only meant you didn't weight that much to begin with. I'm sure it was well intentioned. Anyways. Congrats on the 20lbs!0
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this0
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O and I think hateful is abit strong,not nice or mean but hateful ?
This. Very misleading topic title for one, and secondly, don't you think you're overreacting a little? It was a little insensitive, but I would hardly call your friend "hateful".
typo
Seems as if today is touchy Friday. May its the weather affecting everyone.0 -
Your friend may be jealous even if she is a thin person. I hate to say it but I experienced jealousy when a friend of mine decided to start losing weight and we were always the same size. I never spoke about it but to see her transform made me jealous because she had willpower i didn't have. Anyway, your friend is either jealous or stupid. Just let it roll off of your back but if she makes comments like that on a regular basis then please address it. You look beautiful.0
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LolO and I think hateful is abit strong,not nice or mean but hateful ?
This. Very misleading topic title for one, and secondly, don't you think you're overreacting a little? It was a little insensitive, but I would hardly call your friend "hateful".
typo
Seems as if today is touchy Friday. May its the weather affecting everyone.0 -
That was my interpretation too. Maybe just an awkwardly worded compliment?I'm guessing she only meant you didn't weight that much to begin with. I'm sure it was well intentioned. Anyways. Congrats on the 20lbs!
And yes, congrats on your loss!!0 -
Maybe she meant it as a compliment, and it just came out wrong. Like she was expecting them to pick someone who had been morbidly obese?
Yeah. I'm sure she didn't mean to come off as insensitive. I bet she really did mean it the way these 2 people suggested.I'm guessing she only meant you didn't weight that much to begin with. I'm sure it was well intentioned. Anyways. Congrats on the 20lbs!
Congrats on the loss though! Great work!0 -
Yeah not the nicest thing to say, but think of the context. In a world with shows like biggest loser and extreme weight loss makeover edition as success stories and billboards for stomach stapling showing the same, 19 lbs may not seem like much to her. It doesn't take away the effort it took you to get those lbs off, though. At least you have MFP to get some real support from people who know how hard that really is. Take it easy on your friend though. You can't expect regular people who never put effort into their health to know how hard it is, or to have a good gauge on how much is a lot. She probably thought to be newsworthy it should be a lot, and was ignoring the context of that it's about that particular weight loss plan too, not just a number on a scale. What plan/program is it by the way and what was you're rate of weight loss?0
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"NOT THAT MUCH???" IT HAS TAKEN ME A YEAR TO LOSE 19 POUNDS!!!! IM SO PROUD OF YOU!! Haters gonna hate. You know that saying... "If you got haters, you must be doin something right" lol... try and not let it get to you... what a fantastic opportunity to write your success story! WOW! that's awesome! post the story so we can read it
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O and I think hateful is abit strong,not nice or mean but hateful ?
This. Very misleading topic title for one, and secondly, don't you think you're overreacting a little? It was a little insensitive, but I would hardly call your friend "hateful".
typo
This0 -
Here's an idea, but it will cost a few dollars.
Go buy a 19 pound turkey, gift wrap it and give it to her with an appropriate note (I'm sure you can come up with something creative and not rude to communicate your perspective to her).
Just an idea...0 -
If you have lost 19 pounds, then you have lost 19 pounds. Whether your co-worker was impressed or not does change that fact. Don't let your pride in your accomplishments rest on what someone else says. It wasn't a terribly encouraging thing for her to say, but all that tells you is she not the person to talk with about your successes. Share it with someone who who will be happy for you.0
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I would have said "oh I know...how much did you say you've lost again?"0
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