What would you do?

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Belle8312
Belle8312 Posts: 2,151 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So I have gained about 25 pounds since November, and am headed to see my best friend and her husband for the first time since December (when I saw them, I had only gained like 5 pounds, so they haven't seen me since I have gained an additional 20).

Her husband is incredibly judgmental and while he won't say anything to my face, I know that he will be judging me for how I look. My best friend is drop dead gorgeous and I am so nervous to see them after gaining so much weight. I suppose I could just cancel going, but I would feel horrible about that because she is so excited to see me.

Any thoughts on what you would do?
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Replies

  • kandell
    kandell Posts: 473 Member
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    Haters gonna hate. Gators gonna gait. Potatoes gonna potate. Nothing you can do about her judgemental husband, but try to not let that bother you. Focus on her and gettin caught up and enjoying your time together ^^
  • DC_TheDrivah1
    DC_TheDrivah1 Posts: 77 Member
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    Potatoes gonna potate!
  • Gska17
    Gska17 Posts: 752 Member
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    I've been there. What I've found after the initial hugs and greetings any thoughts on my weight disappeared.

  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    you don't know that...you think that and it's because you are judging yourself....I can't believe you are considering not going to see your best friend due to weight gain...wow.

    I would be there like white on rice.

    If gaining has that much negative affect on your life why let yourself gain the weight?
  • PeachyPlum
    PeachyPlum Posts: 1,243 Member
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    I would do two things:

    1. Decide to give exactly zero *kitten* about what her husband thinks
    2. Decide to have an amazing time with my friend

    You may literally have to get out of the car thinking to yourself "I give exactly zero *kitten* what he thinks of how I look." Hold your head high, this isn't about him.

    He can think what he wants, but I suspect that if he says anything to your friend about it, she'll straighten his *kitten* out in a hurry.
  • Belle8312
    Belle8312 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    SezxyStef wrote: »
    you don't know that...you think that and it's because you are judging yourself....I can't believe you are considering not going to see your best friend due to weight gain...wow.

    I would be there like white on rice.

    If gaining has that much negative affect on your life why let yourself gain the weight?

    Wow....rude comment there. Sometimes you don't just "let yourself" gain the weight. Things in life happen. I take it you're on this site because your life is 100% perfect and you haven't struggled with your weight ever.
  • lynskaggs
    lynskaggs Posts: 2 Member
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    if she is truly your best friend then she won't care what you look like. she may be concerned about your health but out of love and as long as your healthy, I'm sure she'll be STOKED to see you! Go and have a great time!
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
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    If he ain't your husband, it's none of his business.
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,671 Member
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    PeachyPlum wrote: »
    I would do two things:

    1. Decide to give exactly zero *kitten* about what her husband thinks
    2. Decide to have an amazing time with my friend

    You may literally have to get out of the car thinking to yourself "I give exactly zero *kitten* what he thinks of how I look." Hold your head high, this isn't about him.

    He can think what he wants, but I suspect that if he says anything to your friend about it, she'll straighten his *kitten* out in a hurry.
    Couldn't have said it better myself.


  • esjones12
    esjones12 Posts: 1,363 Member
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    "Never explain yourself to anyone, because the people who like you don't need it and the people who dislike you won't believe it."

    "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."
  • snowflakesav
    snowflakesav Posts: 644 Member
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    I don't think your best friend is going to judge you or love you any less if you put on 25 pounds and are working on taking it back off. I kinda think they will likely welcome you with love and not care about how much you weigh.
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
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    Have a great time with your friend!!!
  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
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    If it makes you feel any better, I never notice when my best friends gain/lose weight if I haven't seen them for a while. All I see is their familiar smile and it makes me ELATED to see them. Please don't cancel. Your bff loves you and is excited to see that smile and catch up. Don't worry about what her husband could possibly be thinking. He's not your husband so like a previous poster said, you should give zero ***** about him. :) Have fun!
  • fit4eva86
    fit4eva86 Posts: 71 Member
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    He will probably judge you no matter what size you are. You've gone too thin, you've gained weight!! People who feel the need to judge will always find a reason to judge!! His problem, not yours!! Have fun with your friend :)
  • minties82
    minties82 Posts: 907 Member
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    Act as confident as f**ck. Wear sexy shoes. And yeah...the potato thing :-)

    20lbs isn't all that much and I am sure you look fine anyway.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    Belle8312 wrote: »
    SezxyStef wrote: »
    you don't know that...you think that and it's because you are judging yourself....I can't believe you are considering not going to see your best friend due to weight gain...wow.

    I would be there like white on rice.

    If gaining has that much negative affect on your life why let yourself gain the weight?

    Wow....rude comment there. Sometimes you don't just "let yourself" gain the weight. Things in life happen. I take it you're on this site because your life is 100% perfect and you haven't struggled with your weight ever.

    not rude but blunt....life happens yup but you knew you were gaining and didn't do anything to stop it even tho you are here and know what to do.

    I am here because I let myself gain weight....yes LET MYSELF...because I knew what to do to stop it and didn't...yup life was happening, I was getting married, my son was not happy, my parents were divorcing etc.

    Guess what when I lost the weight life was happening, FIL diagnosed with cancer, father remarried to a nasty woman, son had heart break...life happens..

    Good to see tho that's all you got out of what I said...
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    dont worry what the jerkwad thinks.

    why do people marry jerkwads to begin with? oh wait, i did... LOLOLOLOL
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
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    Blunt as she is stef has a point, we tend to assume people are judging us when we are judging ourselves.

    In the end, whats it matter what this guy thinks, he isn't your husband.
  • berlynnwall
    berlynnwall Posts: 669 Member
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    If she is your best friend, talk to her about how you feel. I'm sure she will understand, and maybe even tell her husband before hand to shut it. Go!

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