Tired of being overweight =(

AreneeS22

First off Im 28 years old. Before I had my daughter in 2003 I weighed 135 lbs (which was my highest weight at the time), and until recently my highest weight was 198. After having her I was never able to lose the weight...I tried many different diets, lost a few lbs, and then gained it right back. Tried medication and lost weight, but gained it right back. Its been a vicious cycle of the yoyo effect. About a year and a half ago I took my daughter and moved out of state because due to my fiancé's addiction problem at the time, we lost everything. He chose to stay behind, so I went to my mothers. Over the first several months I lost about 20 lbs due to not eating, was battling depression, and the constant back and forth fighting with him didn't help any. Last February we finally got to a good point and he was doing well and decided to move up and join us. We were doing so good... had our own place, our relationship was finally starting to mend, he was about to get a promotion at work, I was enrolling in college, I was starting to be healthy again...things were great. 7 months later, this past September, he died in a motorcycle accident. We were together 12 years, had a 8 year old daughter together. To lose him so tragically, so suddenly, was unbearable. I didn't get to say goodbye, I didn't get to tell him I loved him... I am left with so many regrets. That night I went back to my mothers, and have been there ever since... my family moved everything out of our apartment for me because I couldn't stand to go back. I went through a period of not eating again for a few weeks, then it spiraled into me eating everything...guess I just didn't care, and it was comforting. Im now raising my daughter on my own, working and going to school full time, am on anxiety meds and antidepressants, and am at my highest weight ever of 224 lbs. I stay so busy all the time, its been so hard for me to even begin to focus on my own health, but realistically, now that Im all my daughter has left, my health needs to become a priority... unfortunately Im still so scatter brained all the time I just don't know where to start. I did realize the last time I changed my eating, that the best way for me to lose weight and feel better was to go low carb...but its sooo hard to do. I cant indulge even the slightest little bit because that leads me to binge eating...its best for me to stay away from bad foods altogether. I guess Im just needing some motivation... things have been so horrible the last several months, Im about at my lowest point, but I know that something needs to change. Thanks for reading

JessRaddatz

I am so sorry you have been through so much! I'm really not very good at giving advice; I just wanted to give you some support in your journey. Friend me if you'd like. I may not be good in the advice department, but I am a great listener

tulips_and_tea

Oh my! I'm SO sorry to hear all you've been through. You definitely need some time to heal. Have you had grief counseling? Dealing with that, depression, moving, trying to be strong for your daughter, etc. is just SO overwhelming. I completely empathize.

First, I focus on healing your insides. Try to get through your grief and find some mental peace. Second, focus on physical goals without associating it to weight loss only. Walk a certain distance or do a certain number of push ups or planks or whatever. Healing mentally is important but sometimes focusing on what your body can physically do is empowering! Good luck! Read through the success stories here.

dinobomp

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard that has been for you and your daughter. You have my complete empathy.
Ok, so you are right in wanting to conquer this while you are still young! I'm 60, and it is so much harder because of my age and disability, you will not regret starting NOW!
My advice would be this: use MFP to begin tracking what you eat. You will see patterns emerge, then you can begin limiting foods that are trouble for you. Maybe try to cut just calories first, and weigh everything you eat. You'll be surprised how it all adds up! Try using the settings MFP gives you, then adjust as needed. Don't try to do it too quickly, or you might want to give up when it's not meeting your expectation. You will be better able to sustain the habits if you don't change everything at once. Choose something to work on, like soft drinks or candy or bread...something you can cut back on that will help you be more healthy. Think of this as a way of eating forever, not temporarily. Don't eliminate your favorite things, but use portion control. If you consume less calories than your body requires, you will lose! And exercise will make it go faster. Take walks with your daughter after dinner, or ride bikes with her. It would be great to get her used to activity as a normal thing in her life, too. (Not that 8 year olds aren't already running circles around us!) but just enjoy doing it together. You might try a Zumba or other dance type video, kids love that! Do what you are comfortable with. I think you'll find great support and benefits from MFP. I have been so pleased by this resource myself! I wish I had had it when I was your age!
Take it slowly, and the main thing is...never give up. If you have a bad day, or weekend, or whatever...hop back onto MFP and start again. It will be invaluable to you in the long run. You will feel so much better, and be healthier if you tackle this now. Trust me, I know the consequences of waiting. You don't want to end up unable to walk, or worse. Take baby steps, one day at a time. Set small achievable goals for yourself! It will feel so good when you reach them, and you can reward yourself with clothing or whatever you like. Read the forums on MFP about beginning,etc, and be motivated by the success stories! It's amazing what people have accomplished!! Most of all, believe in yourself, and remember how important your health is...it's the most valuable thing you have! Because once you lose it, well...it's not good.
Be sure to add me as a friend, and I'll be happy to cheer you on as you transform your life! Start logging and tracking, and then you can modify as needed. I am excited for you to discover how great it feels to be super healthy!
I wish you great success!
Diane in KS

Afura

I'll second the counseling, it sounds like you need someone to talk to, to help you get your life, and brain, back in order. But absolutely, log your food, watch what you eat, and you should start to learn how not to binge (and I understand, because I will eat that entire box of cookies). Many times I've stopped myself just by saying "Oh... ahhhh I don't want to show that on my log. Dangit". It's not easy for any of us, so please remember that if you have a bad day, it's completely ok, just don't give up on getting healthy.

dawnmcneil10

You've definitely had a journey up to this point and you've survived it all so you have the strength inside you. I just wanted to point that out to you.

There's some good advice that's come along already and I hope it helps you. What I would suggest is to just start logging what you eat now, don't worry about meeting calorie goals or limiting anything just put in your starting info, select 1 pound loss per week and go from there. If you go over you go over at least you're aware of what you're eating and you're building the habit of logging. Eventually how much and what you eat will start changing and then you can redefine where to go from there.

My other advice is to get some exercise. It doesn't have to be a big calorie burn or high intensity just go for a walk. I would highly recommend taking walks by yourself a couple times a week, they don't have to be long walks just a walk around the neighborhood or on a walking path. It's like a destresser and it sounds like you need that. I'd also say take some walks with your daughter, let her tell you what's going on in life, her friends, things she's thinking about for spring/summer and so on.

I think you'll find that just getting some movement, some fresh air and a building a basic routine of logging foods will help a great deal. You'll also find some amazing and supportive people out here and maybe even find someone who's gone through something similar that can fully relate.

Good luck, give that daughter of yours a big hug because it sounds like she's got a pretty great mom.