Have you experienced this?

1nspiredgirl
1nspiredgirl Posts: 27 Member
in Chit-Chat
Doing things like dieting for some people but still, they can't appreciate it? Feels like they're not noticing your efforts at all?
Care to share?

Replies

  • geekman
    geekman Posts: 22 Member
    When I started dieting and logging my food I told my wife. She very quickly joined in and started logging, herself. So I'm afraid I haven't had the experience you describe. But I would imagine it is very frustrating, not having all of your hard work noticed. that's why we are all here. To notice, congratulate and motivate.
  • terri_journey
    terri_journey Posts: 287 Member
    My husband rarely says anything about anything. He will on occasion say " I'm proud of you, that's good" I don' depend on other people to tell me if I look good or not. I let my weight loss speak for itself.
  • geekman
    geekman Posts: 22 Member
    My husband rarely says anything about anything. He will on occasion say " I'm proud of you, that's good" I don' depend on other people to tell me if I look good or not. I let my weight loss speak for itself.

    Hear Hear! At the end of the day, I'm losing weight for myself, not to tick anybody elses box. If people notice and say well done, then all to the good. But even if nobody else notices or cares. I will still feel good in myself for what I Have achieved
  • m76b
    m76b Posts: 1,498 Member
    oh yes! have support only on here lol! someone said to me once..." you will never have the abs that u want" :grumble:
  • kaylaandthestarcatcher
    kaylaandthestarcatcher Posts: 836
    Why would you ever diet FOR somebody other than yourself though?
  • ashleymm625
    ashleymm625 Posts: 86
    someone in work told me (when i told them my goal weight was what i was in high school) that i would never reach it. so i set out on a mission to prove them wrong. but i have to ask my boyfriend if i look any different, he won't just come out and say it :(
  • pippywillow
    pippywillow Posts: 253 Member
    I didn't think my husband noticed my weight loss for a long time. It turns out he was just afraid to say something because he didn't want me to think he wasn't happy with my body before.
  • Trishskee
    Trishskee Posts: 20 Member
    I think there's a lot of trepidation by loved ones and close friends to mention a woman's weight or looks to her in fear that it may be construed negatively. At the end of the day, be sure to reward and congratulate yourself for your accomplishments because you can't control if other people will. Find like-minded individuals (like here) and just rock it!
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
    Boyfriend when I tell him my weigh in is that I lost he's happy.

    Other times he tells me "you're so obsessed with counting calories"

    It all depends really. Now that I have a fitbit he thinks it's the coolest little tracking device. Maybe that'll motivate him to get into better shape (He's skinny, but never works out, he used to, but just got lazy). I think once he starts nursing school though he'll realize he needs to watch what he eats and can't be lazy, he'll be too busy with clinicas / labs / homework...

    But when I was at a plateau he told me not to worry - and he does say he's starting to see the difference, so that's a plus. But I am doing it for me in the long wrong. I'm hardest on myself, not what others think.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Why would you ever diet FOR somebody other than yourself though?
    That.
  • ash190489
    ash190489 Posts: 587 Member
    The only person you should be losing weight for is yourself! However when I first began losing weight I found it very frustrating when people who I felt must have been noticing a difference but didnt say anything! I used it for motivation to keep going - keep going until they mentioned that they noticed a difference and eventually I got there! 12-15kg later mind you. But I get at we obviously notice weightloss ourselves more easily through how we feel and our clothes getting looser!

    Don't get down over it, just keep working at it and eventually people won't have a choice & will have to say something! But coming back to my first and more important message, lose weight for you, no one else!
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
    Why would you ever diet FOR somebody other than yourself though?

    This
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Why would you ever diet FOR somebody other than yourself though?
    That.

    And given some of the posts I've seen on MFP of reactions to comments about people's success/efforts in losing weight, I completely understand their reluctance to say anything at all.

    Personally, I've added weight loss comments to the same list on which I have "possibly pregnant"...which means I say absolutely nothing at all...(well, except for the pregnant thing for which the only exception is if I actually see a protruding baby body part. There are no exceptions to the weight loss comment rule.)
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Why would you ever diet FOR somebody other than yourself though?
    That.

    And given some of the posts I've seen on MFP of reactions to comments about people's success/efforts in losing weight, I completely understand their reluctance to say anything at all.

    Personally, I've added weight loss comments to the same list on which I have "possibly pregnant"...which means I say absolutely nothing at all...(well, except for the pregnant thing for which the only exception is if I actually see a protruding baby body part. There are no exceptions to the weight loss comment rule.)

    Agreed. You can't win. And seriously, OP, losing weight for someone else rarely goes well.
  • 1nspiredgirl
    1nspiredgirl Posts: 27 Member
    I loved myself from the start, I accepted what kind of body and how much weight I had until these people can't accept the real me. I thought that loving myself and be contented is enough but no, whenever I hear bad things about me, that's not what happiness means. I can't be happy if people around me aren't happy for me. So then, I started to not like myself little by little. Until now, I'm trying to lose weight to love myself the way people will love me. I guess I'm wrong but I don't know, people make wrong decisions sometimes. We're not perfect. And this is what I'm feeling right now, also because of desperation.
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    oh yes! have support only on here lol! someone said to me once..." you will never have the abs that u want" :grumble:

    But you already have the abs that WE want, so it's all good. :flowerforyou:
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I loved myself from the start, I accepted what kind of body and how much weight I had until these people can't accept the real me. I thought that loving myself and be contented is enough but no, whenever I hear bad things about me, that's not what happiness means. I can't be happy if people around me aren't happy for me. So then, I started to not like myself little by little. Until now, I'm trying to lose weight to love myself the way people will love me. I guess I'm wrong but I don't know, people make wrong decisions sometimes. We're not perfect. And this is what I'm feeling right now, also because of desperation.

    I think you should ditch those people. You're 114 lbs-- if you're happy with your body then just go be happy with yourself. The part I bolded is no way to live your life. People aren't always going to be happy for you. Don't let your happiness depend on what other people think of you.
  • Gwen_B
    Gwen_B Posts: 1,018 Member
    Why would you ever diet FOR somebody other than yourself though?

    Right!!
  • Sherbog
    Sherbog Posts: 1,072 Member
    Diet for someone else...waste of my time.
  • JustME1611
    JustME1611 Posts: 112 Member
    It wasn't until I lost about 28lbs which has been a couple of weeks ago, that people really started complimenting me. I mean sure, family had already been telling me that I was looking good but as far friends and others outside of family it took them longer to notice or just to say something about it. Not quite sure why but it was a little discouraging in a vain sort of way b/c everyone wants praise for what they are accomplishing right? Anyway, all that matters is that you know you're losing weight and getting closer to your goal and that's all that matters!
  • 1nspiredgirl
    1nspiredgirl Posts: 27 Member
    I loved myself from the start, I accepted what kind of body and how much weight I had until these people can't accept the real me. I thought that loving myself and be contented is enough but no, whenever I hear bad things about me, that's not what happiness means. I can't be happy if people around me aren't happy for me. So then, I started to not like myself little by little. Until now, I'm trying to lose weight to love myself the way people will love me. I guess I'm wrong but I don't know, people make wrong decisions sometimes. We're not perfect. And this is what I'm feeling right now, also because of desperation.

    I think you should ditch those people. You're 114 lbs-- if you're happy with your body then just go be happy with yourself. The part I bolded is no way to live your life. People aren't always going to be happy for you. Don't let your happiness depend on what other people think of you.

    I know your right but it will be hard for me to do that. I can't be happy if I'm receiving negative feedback all the time. Maybe if I achieve my goal then I can. I don't know, I'm a little down right now. Thanks anyway :)
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,413 Member
    If you try to live for someone else, they will always be disappoint.
  • sarahg148
    sarahg148 Posts: 701 Member
    I'm doing it for myself....but having others to motivate you to keep going is extremely helpful! :happy: :drinker:
  • Nonya81
    Nonya81 Posts: 145 Member
    Why would you ever diet FOR somebody other than yourself though?

    What she said!
  • redhead1910
    redhead1910 Posts: 304 Member
    Why would you ever diet FOR somebody other than yourself though?

    The only way you will succeed is if you do it for yourself.
  • emmamaelee888
    emmamaelee888 Posts: 18 Member
    I would say never diet for someone else... only do it for yourself so you can feel better.
    I think it would be hard to stay motivated if I felt like I had to do this to meet someone else's expectations.
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
    Why would you ever diet FOR somebody other than yourself though?

    This^

    OP, stop dieting for other people.
  • 1nspiredgirl
    1nspiredgirl Posts: 27 Member
    OP, stop dieting for other people.

    Yes from now on, I'll do my best, Thank you guys!
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    I did it for ME.
    My rewards are others noticing. :bigsmile:

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