Attitude of Defeat

ossentia

I started my journey in 2013. I lost right around 30 pounds. I lost a lot at first, and then, like an *kitten*, I slacked off a bit (still was losing but not nearly as much), then a bit more, and finally, I slacked off so much that I am up 5ish pounds.

I'm jumping back into things as of two weeks ago. My problem is that I'm doing the same thing that I did to lose the first 30 pounds, but unlike the first time, I have this nagging feeling that I'm not doing enough. I feel like no matter how hard I work, I'll never lose anymore weight. It's very frustrating because when I started all this, and I looked in the mirror wishing I looked better, I could say "I'm doing all I can" and I actually felt better about myself than I had in a long time. Fast forward to my re-start and I just feel defeated already.

Any ideas or suggestions on how to conquer this? Anyone just able to sympathize with me? I loved that rush that I had when I completed my exercise goals and stayed within my calories, how proud I was with myself. I just want that feeling back.

sofaking6

Maybe you need a plan for after you lose those 5lb, how not to put them back on? It could be that you've just recognized that losing the weight is only the first step?

sengalissa

I am near goal weight but I still fall off the wagon all the time! 60% of the time I feel like winner and I'm 100% committed and then I fall off for a week and feel like a failure. Sometimes it is FUN to play with the numbers and make the macros perfect etc - and sometimes it is just a pain. I haven't found any way to predict why that happens.
I am very impressed that you are IN although it does not feel like fun right now. Maybe you are doing it right - just doing your thing and staying more or less wirhin your budget. Who says it has to feel great all the time? It might be better not to depend on success or motivation and to just do it whatever.

You could make a deal with yourself: keep going for another 2 weeks, no matter what. Maybe your progress will convince you!

ossentia

sengalissa wrote: »

I am near goal weight but I still fall off the wagon all the time! 60% of the time I feel like winner and I'm 100% committed and then I fall off for a week and feel like a failure. Sometimes it is FUN to play with the numbers and make the macros perfect etc - and sometimes it is just a pain. I haven't found any way to predict why that happens.
I am very impressed that you are IN although it does not feel like fun right now. Maybe you are doing it right - just doing your thing and staying more or less wirhin your budget. Who says it has to feel great all the time? It might be better not to depend on success or motivation and to just do it whatever.

You could make a deal with yourself: keep going for another 2 weeks, no matter what. Maybe your progress will convince you!

I think you're right, but I'm also so worried that when I check on my progress in a few weeks, I won't have made any. I appreciate the different way of thinking about this mental rut though. I think I can use that.