Ive lost the weight, but feel like an imposter...

dogo187

So, Im a rock star...I've lost 150lbs...go me!

when I was heavy I would of course put very little thought into the way that I dressed...sweat pants, big t-shirts, baggy jeans...just clothes to cover up, not much thought to looking nice or put together...

now, at what is the lightest and smallest that I can ever remember being in my life Im really trying to dress better...with some style and look put together....hair done, some make-up, a cute pair of shoes, some accessory that matches...stuff like that...

but when Im dressed and ready to walk out the door I have moments of self doubt...like Im trying too hard, or something like that...

I have noticed that people sometimes look when I walk in a room...and I have had both women and men give me compliments on a top or that I look hot...stuff like that...

I feel like an imposter...or like Im trying too hard...

I feel like everyone knows that Im faking something...that I don't even know what that something is, well that's even worse...

Do these feeling have something to do with my mind taking a heck of a lot longer to catch up to my body?

To those that have lost huge amounts of weight how have you gone about making the transition to fat and frumpy to healthy and fabulous?

I really am proud of myself...and I know I should be...I just want to stop the self-doubting feelings that seem to have come along with this whole experience...

redhead1910

You are not an imposter! You worked hard and have done an amazing job. Enjoy the compliments and flaunt what you have worked so hard for. I know sometimes it's hard to believe that the person in the mirror is really you, but it is! And you should celebrate yourself everyday

EmilyEmpowered

I can relate to this soooooo much!! OMG, you just read my mind. It is so hard mentally to adjust, people who havent gone through such tremendous changes have trouble understanding. I tried to explain this feeling to others, and people have literally said that I am just "fishing for compliments." They have no idea how insecure I feel.

That being said, I dont know how to fix that feeling. For me, over the past couple of months I have really started to SEE that person I am now. I guess it just takes time? But I still feel like an imposter sometimes when I am all dressed up, like people are going to look at me and laugh to themselves? IDK, sometimes it keeps me from even trying to look nice. But it IS getting better :flowerforyou:

CONGRATS on your weight loss, its amazing

ETA: and pictures help me convince myself, but then I start to tell myself "It's just the lighting" "Its just the angle, I really look bigger in person." To the point of asking family members if I really look like my pictures bc I dont see myself that way! lol

Kacey11312

:noway: 150?! You ARE a rock-star!

I'm sure the reason that people are looking at you is because you're HAWT. They don't know what you've achieved or where you once were. They're probably thinking "man, I wish I looked like that" or "WOW! She's got her stuff together!" or they could be jealous

I understand where you're coming from, though. It's hard to adjust our thinking when we've come from being someone that was once so hard on ourselves. Remind yourself each and everyday that you did it! That you're beautiful, and healthy. Maybe some positive thinking and up-building thoughts will help your brain catch up with your now BANGIN' body.

JuliesZenpuppy7400

You sound so much like me!! I have people at work (I work in a hospital cafeteria) everyday who come through my line and tell me how great I look. Call me skinny. And tell me what a great job I have done BUT in my mind sometimes I feel like if only they knew the truth!! What is the truth?!?!?! I don't know? I have always said that this weight loss battle is 90% mental. But so is the transformations of out bodies. Going from fat to skinny. Seeing ourselves as worthy of these new bodies. And WE ARE!!! We have worked out butts off!!! Literally!!!! You have done great!! Keep working to build your confidence and to believe in yourself and all that you have accomplished!!!!!!

dogo187

thanks for your responses...

i wish i could put my finger on why or what makes me feel like this...

confidence or lack of it? wanting to feel good but not feel worthy of such a feeling....

kimosabe1

WOW! great job!

meeper123

I get you i am always going to see myself as that sad 230 lbs woman that was dumped by her boy friend for being over weight. I still cant get used to being able to wear and do things i didnt or couldnt back then. I gained a lot of weight back as a result dont allow yourself to get back in that hole

bethlaf

exactly , you lost weight , you lost fat, you dont lose your brain.

AABru

Have you ever read about body dysmorphia? When your mind doesn't register what is reality, you have dysmorphia. Some people have mild dysmorphia, and some people can lose 150 pounds and look in the mirror and still see themselves as 300 pounds. If you were heavy when you were young, or for a long time, it WILL take your brain time to catch up with your body. The reverse of this happens as well BTW. When a thin person gains a lot of weight, they may still see themselves as thin and seem to be in "denial." Someone else wrote that taking pictures helps ( I agree with this). I've heard of people drawing outlines of themselves on big paper to "see" how big they are. My own experience is that it has just taken time. I am getting better and better at recognizing my new self. It will come to you as well. You are not an imposter, but you have a new normal. And just like every new normal, it takes time to get used to!:flowerforyou:

MSam1205

I'm not sure the brain ever catches up to the major changes that weight loss brings. you have done a fantastic job and should be so very proud of yourself. Relish each and every compliment, you worked really hard and you have earned them like badges of merit!! Keep reminding yourself of how much better life is as the new you and eventually your brain will catch on.

Panda_Rolls

WOW! I just wanted to say you've done an amazing job. I can't say from experience but I think you will gradually feel more comfortable. Take pride in your accomplishment!

AJinBirmingham

You are a rock star, and an inspiration!

Sometimes, (even positive) change takes time to get used to.

I weighed in at almost 200 lbs after my 2nd son was born and didn't understand how big I'd gotten until a close friend pointed it out to me (without malice.) I was shopping in my old, pre-pregnancy sizes and styles and everything I tried looked AWFUL . . . She took me to Lane Bryant and I got a great shirt that fit.

I spent some time in front of the mirror after that . . . and reality set in. You might want to do the same - delighted that your mirror time will be much more pleasant than mine!

clydethecat

its interesting that you use the word "imposter". like you are doing something you shouldnt be. that may be your old 300 lb brain saying, "wait, we cant wear that." i would give yourself some time to let your old brain catch up to your new body. and the best way i can think of to do that is wear the cute clothes, take time to dress yourself up. do the action and your brain will follow.

you did an amazing thing. the more you do the actions, the dressing up, the looking cute, the more confident you will become, and your old brain will catch up.

congratulations! i'm so impressed!

anemoneprose

Do these feeling have something to do with my mind taking a heck of a lot longer to catch up to my body?

Absolutely, yes, 100% - it took me a year or so to understand even the physical nature of the change in size, never mind all the social stuff. This is so common.

And absolutely, you are a frigging amazing rock star

runzalot81

Folks are looking at you because you look like a distinguished adult :flowerforyou:

You should try to look your best no matter how much you weigh.

I'm plenty lazy about how I look on the weekends and I should take better care to wear something respectable when I go out and put a little makeup on.

angelique_redhead

It sounds like some positive affirmations are in order for several of you. Look in a mirror at yourself and say, "Each and every day in each and every way I am getting better and better!". Do this several times a day. It helps. *HUGS*

anemoneprose

thanks for your responses...

i wish i could put my finger on why or what makes me feel like this...

confidence or lack of it? wanting to feel good but not feel worthy of such a feeling....

i totally believe in fake it til you make it. you've made it, you just have to believe in it & act the part.

http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html

piratesaregrand

Haha this is how I feel too.

It's madness, I guess it's because I spent so long hating myself for being fat?

roxanethree

For me it is hard to get in my head that I'm really going to keep the weight off this time. It feels like people will be watching for me to fail and so I don't 'deserve' this time. I've been thinking all along about maintenance though and seem to understand what it will take. Mostly I feel comfortable with my weight-loss so far, but it is a huge adjustment. You should be so proud of yourself!

ejmcgovern

First of all, may I extend a massive congratulations on your weightloss, what an amazing achievement. My sister lost a similar amount of weight a few years back and it took her a long time to adjust psychologically. You have choices to make around clothes now that were never an option before and in a sense you are re-discovering your own sense of style! It's a normal part of every womans day, be they tall, fat, small or somewhere in between to feel a little insecure around their looks and to worry about what other people think of them. Just take your time, learn to accept compliment gracefully and enjoy lots of shopping!!!