Best Friend Weightloss Jealousy

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  • monkey246
    monkey246 Posts: 30 Member
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    vannaly92 wrote: »
    I'm not sure if she is this judgemental to others. It seems to only be me. I honestly would have no patience for her if i caught her judging others like this but i love her like a sister and it's hard to let go. I'm supposed to be her freaking maid of honor next year. ..

    Those who are upset/angry/jealous always take it out on the ones closest to them.
    Sit her down and say... I feel like you hate me for losing weight. Be blunt and honest. As everyone has said - if she only likes you the way you were and not the way you are now - she's not a true friend.

    Hope that helps and good luck :)
  • silencioesoro
    silencioesoro Posts: 318 Member
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    Like you said, it's time to talk to her about it. I had a friend a lot like yours, I had to explain that this wasn't being done for her- but for me. If she couldn't handle it, then too bad - it's still for me.

    <3 I hope the talk turns out well.
  • NoIdea101NoIdea
    NoIdea101NoIdea Posts: 659 Member
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    I would say just don't bring it up in front of her.....for example, if you said you were buying a new shirt and yoga pants because you needed a size small, that may be a no-no. But if you just say 'oh, I just want to pop in here to buy some new clothes as mine are getting a bit baggy', and she still has a problem....then, I can totally see your point.

    I used to be the skinny one in our group of friends, but over the past year or so I've gained about 30lbs, and as I've done that, my friends all seem to be losing weight so now I'm the 'fat' one. There is one friend in particular who loves to brag about how much weight she has lost. My reaction? Let her! She worked hard and looks fab!

    However, we were discussing our weight one evening and I was saying how enough is enough for me, I've hit 9st and a half and it is time to lose the weight. She then came out with how she thought 8-9st was a healthy weight for our size, with a snide, side glance at me. She was basically calling me a 'dangerous weight', or as my insecure mind set interpreted it, fat. And it hurt, and I was angry at the fact that she had lost weight and I was allowing her to enjoy it, but now she was thinner than me she felt it OK to judge and deem me 'not worthy' almost. (By the way, we're 5ft 3 so my weight is still in the healthy BMI range). It wasn't that long ago she was well over 9st.

    So, I can understand it from both points of view; on the one hand it feels great to lose weight and you want to shout it form the rooftops and you want everyone to be happy for you and they should be! But on the other hand, if your friend is gaining weight whilst you're losing, I can see how that must be hard for her. Granted, she doesn't seem to be doing anything to combat that, but it can be a very hard 'first step' to take when you're feeling really low about the amount of weight you have put on and like you will never be skinny again.

    My advice is to not be blatant about it around her, and stop trying to get her to lose weight. If she is attacking you for losing weight though, and you really are trying not to be so blatant about it, I would suggest staying away form her for a bit, as you don't need that negativity bringing you down when you are doing so well!
  • Trishy2012
    Trishy2012 Posts: 6 Member
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    Understandably there could be jealousy if one friend is losing while the other battles but seriously no matter what your friend should put the jealousy aside and support and be happy for you. I wouldn't throw your success in her face all the time which I'm sure you don't do but you shouldn't be made to feel that you can't share your success with her.... She is your friend after all and that's what friends do. Hopefully she starts to feel better about herself and can find motivation from your success. Best of luck with your goal and your friend :)
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
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    vannaly92 wrote: »
    I'm not sure if she is this judgemental to others. It seems to only be me. I honestly would have no patience for her if i caught her judging others like this but i love her like a sister and it's hard to let go. I'm supposed to be her freaking maid of honor next year. ..

    Think you may have hit the nail on the head.
    Sounds like she is worried that you will look better than she does on her wedding day.

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