Anxiety at the gym

makemethin05

Hi everyone, people I actually know I don't even tell this to, so this forum is actually a great relief!
I have been going to the gym for about two months..
There are lots of machines I haven't attempted to use because I've no idea how to use them.. Two months down the line I don't want to ask and I have huge anxiety problems, I convince myself that everyone there will look at me and think 'she's doing that wrong'

bettybing1

Did you have an induction? You should have taken round by a member of staff and shown how to use everything (an insurance thing i think). If you're anxious about it the only thing that will fix it is to approach a staff member and ask for assistance - it's their job. The only other way would be to go along with a gym bunny friend and get them to show you everything.

And don't worry about what other people think! You are in that gym for you and your needs, not anyone elses. If you continue to let this anxiety grow it might stop you from going to the gym at all.

Own that gym! You got this!

makemethin05

Hi Betty!

Thank you so much for your repy!

I didn't get an induction, no.. It's a really really tiny family run gym & on my first arrival they just said if you need anything, ask, I just feel embarrassed that it's now two months down the line.

I have anxiety, depression and panic attacks, so it is a miracle that I get there anyway!

I'd LOVE to have a gym buddy, I live in an area where I don't know anyone.. So it's a bit difficult.

Thank you so much for your reply xxx

dammitjanet0161

You could re-frame the question - say to the staff that you've been doing the same thing for the past 8 weeks and now you want to shake things up and change your routine a bit, so could they show you some new things? (I assume that you've been using the machines and doing the exercises that you ARE comfortable with for the past couple of months).

Would that feel a bit easier? It's recommended that people regularly change things in their routine anyway, so the staff should be more than willing to help you progress.

melduf

Gyms didn't work for me. I prefer to workout in my living room. It takes discipline but I love it! Feel free to add me for some motivation

Joannesmith2818

I got to the point about 2 years ago where I couldn't even step in a gym from anxiety, so I know how it feels. I now realize that everyone in there is working towards fitness/strength goals and you will find if you just ask they will jump to help you out. I have completely gotten over my fear of simply talking to people to ask for help. Also I think more people than you would know suffer or have suffered from mental health issues. When i bring it up, you will often find that person has their own story. I know its hard at first, but my point is, people in general are nice and willing to help (always dickheads around but mostly nice!).
x

yopeeps025

OP no one at the gym cares so much to stop there workout to stare at you while you workout.

As for asking for help. I know how hard it is sometimes but you either do ask or stay ignorant and never use these machines you want to.

jonsmithkidd

I know how you feel. I don't go to the gym at all because of anxiety. If I had to speak to someone to even ask about joining it would bring me out in a sweat, I'd get panicky and shaky and just wouldn't be able to do it.....so, first of all, congratulations on getting out there and getting to the gym, I know that must take a lot.

Have you tried looking for tutorials of how to use the machines on YouTube?

DvlDwnInGA

Drink a glass of concrete and harden up. No one there cares why you are there, what you are doing, or how you are doing it. Put your headphones in and go to work. If you have a question about how to use a machine or are unsure about an exercise ask the people that are wearing the staff shirts.

Look up exercises on youtube if you are still unsure about how to do something. Most every phone has a way to record video. Set your phone down and record yourself doing the exercises and then you can self critique your own form so you can improve.

If all else fails, go early in the morning when the gym first opens. There are less people in there at that time.

Tedebearduff

makemethin05 wrote: »

Hi everyone, people I actually know I don't even tell this to, so this forum is actually a great relief!
I have been going to the gym for about two months..
There are lots of machines I haven't attempted to use because I've no idea how to use them.. Two months down the line I don't want to ask and I have huge anxiety problems, I convince myself that everyone there will look at me and think 'she's doing that wrong'

Everyone starts somewhere no one walks into a gym knowing how to use everything.

*kitten* negative people

There are more *kitten* at the mall then there are at the gym

Ask someone for help? seriously I'll help anyone any day any time any age ... doesn't matter. I'm still learning myself but I'd be more than happy to show someone how to use a machine.

jonsmithkidd

DvlDwnInGA wrote: »

Drink a glass of concrete and harden up. No one there cares why you are there, what you are doing, or how you are doing it. Put your headphones in and go to work. If you have a question about how to use a machine or are unsure about an exercise ask the people that are wearing the staff shirts.

Look up exercises on youtube if you are still unsure about how to do something. Most every phone has a way to record video. Set your phone down and record yourself doing the exercises and then you can self critique your own form so you can improve.

If all else fails, go early in the morning when the gym first opens. There are less people in there at that time.

If only it were as simple as hardening up :-/

DvlDwnInGA

jonsmithkidd wrote: »

DvlDwnInGA wrote: »

Drink a glass of concrete and harden up. No one there cares why you are there, what you are doing, or how you are doing it. Put your headphones in and go to work. If you have a question about how to use a machine or are unsure about an exercise ask the people that are wearing the staff shirts.

Look up exercises on youtube if you are still unsure about how to do something. Most every phone has a way to record video. Set your phone down and record yourself doing the exercises and then you can self critique your own form so you can improve.

If all else fails, go early in the morning when the gym first opens. There are less people in there at that time.

If only it were as simple as hardening up :-/

That's why I added the rest of text.

jonsmithkidd

I know, I wasn't trying to take it out of context, but when you say about asking people in the staff shirts.....that is next to impossible for some people. I agree with the taking videos and going early morning, they could both help!

Unknown

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Of_Monsters_and_Meat

I don't know how to use the machines either for the most part. Don't worry.
Those things are for muscle isolation work.

Really just showing up to the gym with no plan is a recipe for disaster. I spout it a lot, but it works. Just go in try out Strong lifts 5x5. Just use the bar, or even modify it with some dumbells if you need some courage booster. Really no one is going to care.

Here is the video for the first workout
https://youtu.be/EP2g3Sj3qSw

and to convince you further, here is some radon 117lbs girl deadlifting.
https://youtu.be/lidLQYISVMA

erockem

I've been going to the Y for 6 years. I always seek staff for an orientation prior to starting something new. Two months ago I arranged an orientation with the free weights and a workout I downloaded off the internet. I had a tough time getting a time slot with someone as they always seems to have lots of orientations scheduled. It's very common at my Y. I also enjoy seeing others getting orientations because; 1) the're taking a proactive step to improve their health, 2) it's nice to see new faces at the gym, and 3) I may learn something new if I eavesdrop on their session.

Additionally, someone asked me how to use a machine between my sets last week. Loved passing on info, it felt great and motivated me to work harder on my next set.

KCoolBeanz

I can honestly promise you that nobody is going to stare at you and think "look at her she's totally doing it wrong". If you aren't sure, go ask - they told you to ask for help, and you need to take the step to do it. Sure it can be hard, but worrying about it constantly is more taxing. Just go up to the owners, and tell them you've been there for awhile, but kind of shy and unsure about some things. I'm sure they'd be happy to show you around :-)

randomtai

Does the machine have one of those instruction pictures on the side? I use those and follow up with a Google search on the machine. I hate asking people things, I totally understand where you are coming from.

ETA- I also agree with above and try out Stronglifts 5X5. You can keep to yourself and you know exactly what you are doing every workout.

Marcia661

It's been my experience that if I look confused or attempt a machine incorrectly another gym member will step in and assist. We are there for the same reason right?

gonebeast

I would just be honest and say exactly what u feel, if they're good people they won't laugh and they'll show u what u need to know. Its going to get rid of ur anxiety, rise above it !

sofaking6

Imagine yourself as the pro gym-goer. Some newbie comes and asks you a question - would you think less of them or would you think they were cool for trying new things?

makemethin05

Wow! I have logged on and seen all of your lovely, helpful replies and it's really overwhelming! Thank you! (It sounds nerdy, but I'm going to print out all of your replies and make myself do it)..

I nearly had a panic attack going to my boyfriends families house today for dinner, but, I went and I did it. (We've been together 5 years, so it's no new thing to me) I'll have to try putting that energy and strength into asking for help at the gym.

Thank you all so much! Any of you please feel free to add me, your encouraging words mean a lot & hopefully I can do the same for you ☺️

AliceDark

I promise you that you're not in a situation where everyone else knows everything, and you're the only one who has questions. Even people who have been going to the gym for years have questions or need help, and there is always something new to learn. That's part of the fun. You could be a veteran gym-goer, and you'll still see people doing new and exciting things you've never seen.

Plus, the people who own the gym want you to succeed and be safe. People who are enthusiastic about the gym like to share that enthusiasm with new people (see: this entire site), and if you own a family-run gym, you're REALLY into fitness! You won't be bothering them by asking questions -- it would be worse for you to drop your membership because you weren't comfortable, or for you to get hurt.

RaganW

I was the same way and I too have anxiety problems . Once you do learn the machines you will feel like a boss and be teaching others . Don't be scared because the people that don't know you want you to succeed .

urloved33

I promise that what is going on in your head about what people will think...is not what they are going to think. I have never had someone be mean or rude to me in a gym and i've been going to them for a lifetime. If you go to the gym often enough one day, very soon it will feel like home. I promise

DaFibble

Correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds as though you might be quite self-critical. If you're worried others will look at you badly for doing something wrong that's also something in your own thinking, telling you that somehow you should just know what to do at the gym without getting some guidance. If so, try to let go of your criticism and be forgiving of not being super-human! Its not reasonable to expect to know what you're doing without induction and being hard on yourself for not knowing isn't kind or gentle to yourself.

Really, unless someone is so fixated on their own ego-trip (to bolster their own shaky self-esteem, so they have their own problems they aren't facing) they'd want to help you. It will make them feel good about themselves and will make things easier for you, too. Everyone wins.

Bugdude54

Firstly try to get over the "they're watching me" phobia. Its hard but you can do it. You have to realize that some of them have been in the gym for years and they've earned their physiques and like anything in time with practice you'll look just like them to a newcomber.

If you're uncertain ask. The one stupid question is the one you didn't ask. You can really hurt yourself if you do some exercises improperly over and over.

Too nervous to ask? Then just watch someone on the machine you want to use. Look at their form, see how they do the movement. Of course the easiest thing would be to just get a personal trainer for the day and have them show you how to use what you want to do.

Remember. Everyone was new at one point. Practice makes perfect.

ashleystidham

I definitely know that dealing with these types of things can be extremely frustrating. First rule of thumb: don't care what anyone else thinks besides yourself! And you should be patting yourself on the back for making it to the gym in the first place! Everyone is there for the same reason and you should never feel awkward or afraid to try something new, even if you mess up just flip your hair and walk away as fabulous as ever! I've dealt with both depression and anxiety issues so I know how tough it can be to worry about what others think but I promise the only opinion that matters at the end of the day is your own and you can get past it! Much love!

betuel75

How about watching people on these machines or with weights and then doing it after them. I never asked anyone how to use a machine or use free weights. I just watched people and later tried it myself.

futuremanda

dammitjanet0161 wrote: »

You could re-frame the question - say to the staff that you've been doing the same thing for the past 8 weeks and now you want to shake things up and change your routine a bit, so could they show you some new things? (I assume that you've been using the machines and doing the exercises that you ARE comfortable with for the past couple of months).

Would that feel a bit easier? It's recommended that people regularly change things in their routine anyway, so the staff should be more than willing to help you progress.

There are a lot of good tips in this thread, but this stuck out to me as what would probably help ME most. For me, I find that knowing the social script is really helpful with my anxiety.

Social scripts are scripts we all know. Like, you walk into a restaurant, you stop at the "wait to be seated" sign. A staff member will come up, smile, and take a guess at your "table for" number. You respond with "yes" or correct them. They say "table or booth?" or "bar or dining room" or "patio or indoors" or "there's a 5-minute waiting list, is that okay? Yes? Can I get your name?" etc.

Sometimes when I have to push through my anxiety about something, it comes down to the script. So I will run through it alone a bit, or ask my partner to help me. Sometimes just running through it once out loud helps. Other times, I'll write it down (like if I'm doing a longer or more complicated phone thing). It's also great if you have any specific worries, like "what if the person says ________?" then you can say "well then I would say _____".

You can also run through the script backwards. If you were the gym employee, what would your job be like? What were you trained to do? What sorts of interactions do you have with patrons all day, every day? If a nice person walked up to you and told you that she has recently become interested in strength training, and would like to be shown how to use the equipment you offer safely, how would you respond and what would you be thinking?

Decide how you'd like to approach a staff member or get their attention. And when, and where. Right when you walk in, at the front desk? Try to flag a staff member walking around? Decide what you'll say, how you'll frame the question. I like the suggestion above. Like, "I've been doing cardio for a couple of months now. But I'm interested in starting strength training, and concerned about making sure I am doing it safely." Or maybe you'd feel more comfortable striking up a conversation about other things first, or starting the odd polite exchange with staff and then broaching the real question once you sort of "know" them. Once you're in the interaction, the staff member will take the lead and you can follow, socially, if that makes sense. (They are guiding you now, you are no longer approaching it cold.)

Other things:
- think about how awesome it will feel once this thing you've been avoiding gets done and isn't hanging over you anymore
- push yourself but not over a cliff. It will definitely be uncomfortable, and so you will need to push to do it. But that doesn't mean you have to be heartless about it. Walk a line between allowing yourself to get out of an uncomfortable situation when you should be pushing through, and pushing yourself farther than you can healthily go today.
- I find I have a bit of a limit as to how many things I can juggle well at once, and that limit is severely smaller than "normal" (what our society seems to tell us / what I perceive from looking at others from the outside). I do best when I respect those limits and do not try to "be more like others" or listen to my inner overachiever. If I want to do a new big scary thing, I might have to shuffle my priorities so that something less important gets put off. Or maybe plan to do it next week if this week already has extra scary things happening. Or I might have to get something else in line first, like if I've been slipping in self-care, I might need to raise that up in preparation (and should anyway).
- if you have access to any form of therapy, this would be a great thing to talk about there, as would strategies surrounding panic (if you have not already or could still use assistance)

(I have GAD and am prone to depression, by the way. Everyone's anxiety is different, but maybe something in my experiences will be helpful. Sorry for the essay!)

And I think it's awesome that you get yourself there and work out! That's basically 95% of the battle imo.

Oshun64

Futuremanda - Just want to commend you for such a thoughtful and practical response to assist those dealing with social anxiety. This is truly what support looks like