Bolumia relapse... any help?

shadowlydarkness
shadowlydarkness Posts: 243 Member
in Motivation and Support
So last night I had a relapse... I told my partner this morning and he was ofcourse dissapointed, not mad, and I'm glad I told him everything. So this morning we walk into the kitchen and see the damage I have done and he helps me get rid of it. I normally only buy healthy foods for us and the only reason we had unhealthy crap was because we had friends around a few nights before and we still had left overs. He helped me to throw it out, suddenly realizing how much of a trigger it was was a shock for both of us.

But now my problem is that I have just lost motivation. I feel dissapointed and disgusting and not sure what to do now. I have had relapses before but that didnt end well so before I slip even farther I'd like to know if anyone else has had this problem and how they dealt with it.

My body is sore and tired and I've got a headache, I feel terrible and quilty.

Replies

  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Have you sought professional help? Bulimia is very serious and very bad for your body in many ways. You can end up damaging your eyes from the strain of purging. Your teeth will erode. Your esophagus will be damaged and can leave you with permanent health issues, even increasing your risk of cancer. The act of purging repeatedly takes a huge toll on the body.

    If all this is not enough to scare you out of it, you really need to speak with someone who can help. It is a mental thing, and unfortunately no one here is qualified or understands your personal struggle enough to offer safe advice. The one thing I can say is, you need to get to the point where, when you have the urge to purge, you need to stop and decide whether you will give in to the disorder or if you will choose your longterm health instead.

    Http://www. somethingfishy.org has a lot of good information and resources. It's a good place to start. Please take steps for your health, you may not be able to stop this yourself, but that's okay. There are people who would love to help and have you recover fully.

    Best of luck.
  • bonelessskinless
    bonelessskinless Posts: 147
    ^ this

    i feel for you :'(
  • butterflyluv1218
    butterflyluv1218 Posts: 430
    I was bulimic for years. I got help and then went back to it for a while until I got pregnant with my son. I understand what you're going through completely. It's discouraging and scary. I sometimes still feel like I want to do it again but I haven't. It is true that you need to get help. You need to figure out in your head why you do it. Is it control? Emotion? Depression? Take care of yourself. Go get help. You'll be thankful you did.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I'm glad that you have someone there to help you and I hope you continue to recover but, as Auron brought up - Have you sought professional help?

    I think that working with a doctor and a counselor will be most beneficial. Not saying you can't look for support groups and such..but honestly, it'd be better to talk to a counselor for most of this.
  • shadowlydarkness
    shadowlydarkness Posts: 243 Member
    Thanks guys.

    I know how bad this is for my body and I havent done it for a long time. I have sought proffesional help but they turned me away. How funny is that, everyone says I should get professional help but when I do they turn me away because I didnt have money at the time to pay for some bloodtests. That strangely enough was my motivation to get myself out of it the first time, as if I was saying I didnt need them to make me better. So to answer the question: no I havent had proffesional help or counselling, but I do know why I do it. Though I doubt posting it here will help.

    Thanks butterflyluv1 for sharing your experience.

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