Losing weight, but cant tell...I guess

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  • bulk_n_cut
    bulk_n_cut Posts: 389 Member
    edited April 2015
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    you're not "big", you are/were fat. shaq is big. yao ming is big

    and congrats on the loss, screw what others think. keep on losing (winning)
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,180 Member
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    I sort of know the feeling ...

    According to the scale, I've lost 8 kg ...

    But I'm still in the same clothes.
    I don't feel like I'm any smaller.
    When I look at myself in the mirror, sometimes I think I might possibly look a teensy bit smaller, but then I look again, and I don't see a difference.
    No one has said anything ... not even on a day when I tried to dress in something nice and a little more figure flattering.

    And then ... there was a photo of me taken with friends when I had lost about 5 kg, and I look just as big or bigger than I imagined myself.

    And then ... we had to do a short video for a class in uni just the other day, after I had lost the 8 kg, and ... oh dear. I look huge in that video.

    But apparently I've lost 8 kg.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
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    i remember that feeling it was so annoying. i thought all that work i am doing and they cant be bothered to notice and then one day they started to notice and comment. i must admit i do like the comments. There will always be a few people who will not say a word even after dropping a considerable few dress sizes. I have a few close friends like that.

    p.s not everyone is comfortable with taking compliments about their weight loss, its a sensitive area. so sometimes you cant win so people stay quiet.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Gosh I cant believe how important this is to people. Id just be inwardly happy and pleased with myself about the weight loss. You will see it yourself in the mirror, realise the loss will be there tomorrow as well and be quietly pleased with yourself. Needing others to recognise weight loss just doesnt rank for me. Some people will feel its not their place to say anything for others it wont be an issue.
  • bunnywestley81
    bunnywestley81 Posts: 178 Member
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    People who see you all the time don't notice. My mum in law is more likely to notice than my work colegues.

    I didn't notice i lost 20lb til i ran downstairs n my jeans fell off!!

    Also people sometimes don't feel comfortable bringing it up.

    Its the "are you pregnant?" Question. When is it ok to ask someone if they are pregnant? I'd go with never. If you're wrong it makes the person feel poo. I should know...its happened several times in the past!
  • hupsii
    hupsii Posts: 258 Member
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    bunnywestley81 wrote: »
    People who see you all the time don't notice. My mum in law is more likely to notice than my work colegues.

    I didn't notice i lost 20lb til i ran downstairs n my jeans fell off!!

    Also people sometimes don't feel comfortable bringing it up.

    Its the "are you pregnant?" Question. When is it ok to ask someone if they are pregnant? I'd go with never. If you're wrong it makes the person feel poo. I should know...its happened several times in the past!

    yeah that's horrid !!!!! I will never comment on anybody's gain or loss. My boss lost over 30 lbs and talks about it constantly. This is soooo boring - or perhaps I am just jealous ... guess the latter ;)
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,180 Member
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    999tigger wrote: »
    Gosh I cant believe how important this is to people. Id just be inwardly happy and pleased with myself about the weight loss. You will see it yourself in the mirror, realise the loss will be there tomorrow as well and be quietly pleased with yourself. Needing others to recognise weight loss just doesnt rank for me. Some people will feel its not their place to say anything for others it wont be an issue.

    Nevermind other people, I just wish I could see it myself.

  • JohaneLemay
    JohaneLemay Posts: 1 Member
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    I wouldn't worry about it... what matters most is really about how you feel about yourself, everything else will fall into place :)... keep up the good work !!! :D
  • dorkyfaery
    dorkyfaery Posts: 255 Member
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    You may find when you do start to hear it you wish they'd stop. I've lost clost to 40 pounds but haven't lost very much at all in the past 6 months or so, yet people are still stopping me in the halls at work to mention it. On one hand, I suppose I'm glad it's noticable but honestly I'm not one who really wants attention on my body so I kinda wish they would just stop mentioning it.
  • chmill24
    chmill24 Posts: 12 Member
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    I'll echo the suggestion to regularly take pictures. You see yourself everyday so your mind gets used to the slow changes and doesn't 'notice' the weight lose. I've taken a picture of myself end of every month for the last 2 years. During the loss it showed me progress was bring made. Even though they can be hard to look at now, as I see how out of shape I had let myself go, it reminds me how far I've come. Also gives motivation to keep it off.
  • jazzine1
    jazzine1 Posts: 280 Member
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    I have an acquaintance who every time I see her (I see her a couple times a month) mentions how she is still on a diet and has lost weight then asks if I can see it. The first time she asked I was like, wow yea I can see it, congrats. But after a while it just get to a point that it becomes a bit irritating being asked time and time again if I see her weight lost.
  • LiveLoveRunFar
    LiveLoveRunFar Posts: 176 Member
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    Oh they are noticing....they are just not saying anything. One thing about losing weight, you find out who your friends really are. I lost 30 pounds and 4 sizes...went to a meeting and my frenemies said "oh your hair is darker". My friends said "Wow! You look fantastic". People I see on a daily basis didn't say anything until around 34 pounds because they didn't want to say anything that might be offensive or hurt my feelings. Unlike MFP, most polite people will not talk about someone's weight or losing weight unless they are very close to that person. Frenemies will minimize it. And close friends will share the joy with you.
  • reese2282
    reese2282 Posts: 5 Member
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    I can totally understand where you are coming from on this one! There have been times when I lost 40 pounds and no one noticed. Meanwhile, my husband was doing what I was doing, lost five pounds, and everywhere we went people couldn't stop gushing about how great he looks. I even had my family members pull me aside and tell me I should follow his great example. It's incredibly frustrating! But ultimately, as many other people have said, we are doing this for ourselves and no one else. Eventually - they'll notice (or not), but either way we'll be feeling better. Keep up the great work!
  • bunsen_honeydew
    bunsen_honeydew Posts: 230 Member
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    People lose weight for bad reasons too, eg illness, stress. I know someone who lost heaps of weight on the "messy divorce diet". Someone else went from a sz 24 to a 12, and while she had been going to the gym etc, at the same time her dad was dying from a really horrible illness, so I don't know if that is what caused it, so I don't say anything.

    Unless you make it clear that you are trying to lose weight (which is different from "trying to get fit"), polite people won't comment.
  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 698 Member
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    I've lost about 40 lbs over the last two and a half years. No one really said anything until I had lost over 30 lbs. However, I've had at least three co-workers (out of like 10 total) comment that they had noticed I'd lost weight, but didn't know how exactly to say it without offending. Honestly silence is a good choice when noticing a weight change. People don't know WHY you've lost weight. My sister lost a bunch of weight after a divorce. I had never seen her so small. However, she lost weight because she wasn't eating and was severely depressed.

    Now? People WILL NOT shut up about my weight loss and it's a bit obnoxious (I'm not the type that likes it when people comment on my weight, a 'you look great' would suffice). It's like every pound I lose now is really noticeable. I spoke with one of my best friends who I've known my whole life. She said my weight loss has been a really dramatic change in my appearance. Then I really thought about it. People started commenting when I got to a weight I have never been at as an adult. I've always been overweight, just varying degrees of it. I'm basically a physical version of myself they've never seen before (13 lbs lighter than I was at 16). So I think that's the reason the comments started/continue.
  • qn4bx9pzg8aifd
    qn4bx9pzg8aifd Posts: 258 Member
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    TwoNinetyTwo wrote: »
    extremelygrumpycat wrote: »
    ...a lot of people are probably scared to say something...
    +1
    Yep... just because people aren't saying something doesn't necessarily mean that they haven't noticed... there are various factors which come into play in determining comfort level in making such a comment (about appearance, weight, etc.), and especially when it comes to non-family-members, and people who aren't close friends... and a form of 'erring on the side of caution', and not wanting to risk offending or making someone uncomfortable, can 'take hold', and for an unpredictable, indefinite time...

    And even when it comes to family, there can be reasons for 'being careful' in such a way... I know that with my parents, several years ago, I hesitated, and carefully considered what to say, and how to say it, because I didn't want them thinking that I thought anything negative about their previous/'original' 'form', and I didn't want them to feel awkward in any way if the weight was gained back (as I suspected that it might be, due to my knowing that the weight loss 'method' in question was not sustainable)...

    There can be a lot going on, 'silently', if/when people are trying to take into account someone's feelings, and trying to abide by a kind of 'golden rule' (albeit while erring on the side of caution), and being kind in a thoughtful, considered manner. And in the context of the topic in question, the multi-variable -relevant 'outcome' of any such should-I-say-anything? 'decision' can result in people 'staying quiet' about someone else's 'new reality', rather than risk any unintended negative anything (and most of all, offending them, or making them uncomfortable, or hurting their feelings (we don't always know how a seemingly innocent way of saying something (and about 'this'), and that we think is positive or encouraging, might be construed as something other than what was intended, or somehow affects an unknown-by-others sensitivity that someone might have))...

    ...and so... and as unexpected as it might be to realize... others 'not saying anything' -- when taking into account the possible/plausible/positive reasons for such -- can represent a form of caring... and empathy... as well as caution...

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