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We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....

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  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
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    I was losing my hearing from the gong he banged after we banged
  • pigheaded
    pigheaded Posts: 3,083 Member
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    You didn't have to jump up and bang it every single time! Fake it once or or twice!
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
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    pigheaded wrote: »
    You didn't have to jump up and bang it every single time! Fake it once or or twice!

    I always faked it... I could have gotten there if you would have gotten the box.

    At least then I could imagine you were Solid Snake from Metal Gear. Oh my....
  • pigheaded
    pigheaded Posts: 3,083 Member
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    We agreed not to bring up the snake! We had therapy!
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
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    pigheaded wrote: »
    We agreed not to bring up the snake! We had therapy!

    I was sleeping with the therapist :o
  • WantonHeartTroubledHead
    WantonHeartTroubledHead Posts: 877 Member
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    she was obsessed w paper bags and would orgasm in grocery stores
  • pigheaded
    pigheaded Posts: 3,083 Member
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    That explains the lack of shaving and notepad fettish
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
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    WantonHeartTroubledHead wrote: »
    she was obsessed w paper bags and would orgasm in grocery stores

    He thought I was into bags when it was always the cardboard boxes... Oh my
  • WantonHeartTroubledHead
    WantonHeartTroubledHead Posts: 877 Member
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    She learned ventriloquism and when I went "downtown" she's throw her voice from her lady parts to criticize my performance
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
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    He walked out after because I didn't yell out Encore!!!
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
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    She was always quiet during sex
  • brittneynathan0579
    brittneynathan0579 Posts: 69 Member
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    She was not a he
  • pigheaded
    pigheaded Posts: 3,083 Member
    edited July 2017
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    The butterflies always in the way!
  • SuperStampede
    SuperStampede Posts: 1,662 Member
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    He called my *kitten*, butterflies!
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
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    His package looked like a butterfly
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
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    She was always receiving suspicious packages
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
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    She named my "package" Suspicious :o
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,452 Member
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    Suspicious was tiny :D
  • SuperStampede
    SuperStampede Posts: 1,662 Member
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    She said my package looked suspicious and would never open it!
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
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    He hired a detective to follow me around! ;)

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