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We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....

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  • NVintage
    NVintage Posts: 1,463 Member
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    He compared everything to wine...a bit too prestigious for me
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    She was a Peasant 😜
  • Ironwoman1111
    Ironwoman1111 Posts: 3,913 Member
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    She was addicted to nuggets and would even feed them to our free range chickens 😲
  • Watching_The_Wheels
    Watching_The_Wheels Posts: 4,571 Member
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    I was unable to stimulate her mentally, physically and emotionally…
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    I caught him trying to "Stimulate" our Hot neighbor. 😠
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,421 Member
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    She complained I used too many u’s when I savoured our favourite hot neighbour.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
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    I found a neighbour under our bed, 2 in our closet and another behind the bedroom curtains 😐
  • NVintage
    NVintage Posts: 1,463 Member
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    i told her there's no I in team, and she said "there's no u in team either so get laust"!!!!
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 17,725 Member
    edited September 2021
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    She got really strict about spelling rules and started giving me pop quizzes. I kudn't handel it enymoor.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    I got tired of her boss calling me in to translate her Reports.
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,845 Member
    edited September 2021
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    Caught her having an affair with my boss. 😒
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    She didn't believe that I was only trying to help her get a Promotion at Work!
    How do you think you got that Raise last September and that really generous Christmas Bonus? 😒

  • NVintage
    NVintage Posts: 1,463 Member
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    She conspired with my boss to create a new system of our earning or September bonuses.. Apple Bobbing Contest! Guess what our bonus was? a sack full of apples:(
  • Ironwoman1111
    Ironwoman1111 Posts: 3,913 Member
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    She left me for her bonus and it turns out it had a name…. Johnny Appleseed!🍎
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    Every time I graded history papers for my class, she'd get jealous of the subjects of study and claim that I spent too much time with them 🙄
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,311 Member
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    She's living in the past most of the time.. all dressed like little house on the prairie
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    He thought I dressed too conservative and dumped me for Miss Cleavage our scantly dressed neighbor. 😒
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,845 Member
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    What? Did we break up? Sorry.. I was distracted by Miss Cleavage. Do you think they’re real? 😳
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    She was arrested for Molesting Miss Cleavage. I hear she was getting too handsy with her melons 🙌 🍉🍉
  • Watching_The_Wheels
    Watching_The_Wheels Posts: 4,571 Member
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    I refused to get faster internet…

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