We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....
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She was such a tease!0
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Hated when I teased my hair!0
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She had a weave0
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Won't wear the special skibbies I weaved out of horse hair!0
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Wanted to do it only near hay for some reason
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He had Hay Fever!0
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Wanted me only for my money not my body!
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Told me to put a sock in it.0
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He wanted a contortionist. I just couldn't bend myself like a pretzel.0
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She bit my pretzel rod0
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I didn't like pretzels0
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He's an exhibitionist lol0
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She wanted a D
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I saw some pretty racy text messages between her and her boss on her phone0
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He never text me at all.. just expected me to have dinner on the table when he got home an no thank yous...0
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she thought the smoke detector was a cooking timer.0
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He always brought a timer to bed...0
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I had to prove to her it was longer than 5 minutes0
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Strange rash on his nether regions0
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LOL she tried to convince me her rash was razor burn.... it wasn't shaved0
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He carried a shaving kit everywhere, offering free shaves to strangers out being traumatized by his unshaven ex...0
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She liked to sing from Sweeny Todd while walking around with a shaving kit0
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she made me watch beaches 3 times in one day.0
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he wouldn't take me to the beach0
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She was a beotch.
Sorry sweetie!
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he called me names and then immediately apologized and acted like all was forgiven0
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He narrated everything in life.0
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She gave her girlfriends the play by play of our nightlife
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he never told his friends about our nightlife0
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