Help!

Dionysus1968

I'm going through turmoil. I'm a binge eater, need hip replacement but they won't do it cos of my weight. I was really going for it looking at my food intake and have managed to get a control of it until recently. I went to usual hospital appointment for weightloss surgery. They left me demotivated and low and feeling of low self esteem. I can't get back on track. Why can't I do this now. I'm in such turmoil. No one understands. I smile while I feel like screaming. I don't even know if I want the surgery anymore. I just want my mobility back. I'm told I need counselling, need to lose weight while waiting and give up smoking. I know my issues but I thought they were there to help, not demotivate you and leave you out on a limb. Everyone thinks it's easy. But I'm not coping. Has anyone gone through this? I'm scared I'm going to end up a cripple not able to walk. That frightens me and I still can't get back on track!!! Why? My life is non existent, no socialising, just work n home. That's coming to an end cos I can't cope with pain. So giving up work in a couple of months. I need to get back on track lose my weight for me. Try for me and I have nothing left to give but pain

RoxieDawn

Is your weight tracker accurate? It says you only have 17 pounds to loose...

healthy_life2015

I wish I could give you a big hug!!! The way you describe all your problems makes them feel enormous! Just try to take it one step at a time. So many people on here have started off it bad situations and have been able to turn their lives around. Tell yourself that you can do this one day at a time! I hope you will see someone who can help. A therapist can help you tackle all these issues and help you see that you can overcome them.

I wish you the best of luck and will be thinking of you!! Stay strong because you can do this!

SnuggleSmacks

It can seem daunting and overwhelming, especially at first. And getting back on the wagon after a setback can be especially hard. It's time to let your head rule your stomach with some smart strategies to make this difficult task a little easier.

Try setting some smaller goals. Set a goal to lose 5 pounds this month. That's all, just 5 pounds.

Start thinking in terms of what you can do today...if you're having mobility problems, do what you can. Walk up and down your hallway, up and down your yard, your street, whatever you can manage safely. If you can't do that, is there something you can do with your upper body? Even if it's just lifting some light dumbbells over and over, any movement is better than no movement.

Be kind to yourself. Slow loss is better. Set a reasonable deficit, not an aggressive one. Give yourself room for some treats, not just deprivation. Stop buying things that you know might trigger a binge, or buy them in small quantities...a pint of ice cream instead of a gallon. When you cook tasty things and have some leftover, immediately pack it up into individual servings and put it in the freezer. Don't leave it sitting there tempting you.

Take it one day at a time. If you fall off the wagon, you haven't ruined anything, only delayed reaching your goal. You only fail if you stop trying and progressing, no matter how slow it is.

Dionysus1968

Thank you snugglesmack. I have started some of those techniques until my set back. I only look to lose a pound a week. I must admit I did buy food I binge with. I hadn't before. I'm starting on my garden. I do walk around when pain permits. I will take on your advice one day at a time. Start again tomorrow. Thank you

Dionysus1968

Gia07 no that's my goal for now. My overall goal is to get to the lowest weight I've been as an adult which is 16st. But I've broken it into stages.

1Cor1510

I highly recommend the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns. It did wonders for me. Basically it says that our feelings stem from our thoughts, conscious and unconscious. If you want to change the way you feel, you have to change your thoughts. Worked for me when I was 21, and I recently revisited the book during a "down" time I was having. Your thoughts and feelings have such an effect physical pain, motivation, and your ability to move forward in your life. (((hugs)))

Dionysus1968

Healthy_life2015 thank you. I will keep trying. Just this pain and lifestyle is so depressing. I use to socialise alot. Use to go to the gym. Just totally different. Had a fall in 2005 and it has caused several issues over the years but arthritis started in 2010. I use to walk 30 min a day. Now well....! I'm going to try again. Put today behind me.

julianpoutram

Dionysus1968 wrote: »

I'm going through turmoil. I'm a binge eater, need hip replacement but they won't do it cos of my weight. I was really going for it looking at my food intake and have managed to get a control of it until recently. I went to usual hospital appointment for weightloss surgery. They left me demotivated and low and feeling of low self esteem. I can't get back on track. Why can't I do this now. I'm in such turmoil. No one understands. I smile while I feel like screaming. I don't even know if I want the surgery anymore. I just want my mobility back. I'm told I need counselling, need to lose weight while waiting and give up smoking. I know my issues but I thought they were there to help, not demotivate you and leave you out on a limb. Everyone thinks it's easy. But I'm not coping. Has anyone gone through this? I'm scared I'm going to end up a cripple not able to walk. That frightens me and I still can't get back on track!!! Why? My life is non existent, no socialising, just work n home. That's coming to an end cos I can't cope with pain. So giving up work in a couple of months. I need to get back on track lose my weight for me. Try for me and I have nothing left to give but pain

Then you already know what you need to do. You need to do all the research you can, log your food all the time, learn when you feel most at risk of over eating and find ways to combat it. I did and still do struggle with emotional eating from time to time. You've just got to pull it together and not let the *kitten* win! The effort you put in is equal to the reward you get back. You can do it, so many people here have been in the same position!

Wallowing in self pity might make you feel better right now, but it is a sure fire way to get stuck in a rut of ZERO progress. Forge on ahead and learn from the mistakes you've made in the past.

RoxieDawn

Oh my goodness. When I read this post I started to feel pretty terrible that I did not have things in my own life so bad.

I agree with @julianpoutram said about the wallowing. And stuck in a rut with the self pity will only set you back further and further as it already has..

If you need hip replacement and it is bad enough that you will be "crippled for life" this will prevent you from have a self reliant life (you won't be able to walk to the fridge any more.. not to be judgmental or anything like that).. but come on girl friend... you say you have nothing left but pain and you basically say life is over...

I think you need to get into a counseling program... an internet forum from strangers is not going to help you much..